Now for a few thousand well chosen words about the culinary arts. First, let me list the things in the food world that we can easily do without:
1. Garlic. This foul weed seems to find its way into everything we cook and everything we order at restaurants. It smells bad. It tastes bad. It makes you smell bad. On the other hand, it is an excellent birth control device.
2. Anchovies. While I really like most fish, the anchovy doesn't really seem to be a fish. It is more like some vermin from the sea. A water-borne cockroach. Anchovies taste like a big scoop of dirt. TV chefs think these wretched little beasts are wonderful. They are wrong. The only use I have ever found for anchovies is as bait.
3. "Al Dente". My ancestors spent numerous generations learning to cook food so it is done. Al dente is not done. It is under cooked. If I want to chew something crunchy, I'll eat an apple. You may COOK my pasta, please.
4. Complex recipes. These recipes are presented to us as something the home cook can easily accomplish. LIES!!! Most of them are multi-ingredient masterpieces that require exotic fruits and/or vegetables and meats that can only be obtained on safari. Some ingredients are not now, never have been, and never will be available to the general public. These recipes describe techniques and equipment found only in 5 star restaurants. Preparations times vary between 5 hours and 5 days. Who has the time?
5. Strange foreign words. Most TV chefs deem it necessary to use phrases and descriptions that are totally foreign to 99% of the American people. We can't tell what the hell they're talking about. I am sure that they could use plain english in their descriptive presentations. Like lawyers, they seem to be unable to speak clearly in understandable english.
6. How many of you guys have 5 ovens, 6 cook tops, a grill, a buit-in deep fryer, a broiler and 50 square feet of counter space. None of you? Gee, I'm shocked. You probably don't have $5000 worth of pots and pans either.
And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Last time!!!
I promise, this is the last time I will mention the plight of Schiavo. In my last blog, I said that they should just let her croak. Bill O'Reilly had a much better idea. He said that the husband should withdraw his suit, make a public statement that he had done his best to fulfill her wishes, but now was willing to turn guardianship over to her parents. This would solve several problems. First, and most important, it would dry up the media coverage because if there is no controversy, there is no story. Second, it would relieve Mr. Schiavo of the financial burden for her recovery. It would also remove the state's responsibility for her hospital bills. The parents could finance them from donations. Third, it couldn't hurt anything. She would continue to live. She is not in pain so there would be no harm done. All this would work unless Mr. Schiavo has some nefarious reason not to let it go. The only good thing about this whole sordid affair is that we haven't heard about Michael Jackson or Scott Peterson for a week.
I must apologize! I guess I was being much too subtle when I expressed my views on illegal, criminal aliens in our country. Allow me to provide some detail. The first act of an illegal is to commit a federal felony by crossing the border illegally. If they are caught, they should be immediately deported. The U.S. Army should be assigned to patrol our southern border. They should be given permission to shoot to kill if they detect invaders. All illegals found hiding in this country should be rounded up, loaded on barges and shipped to southern Mexico with a warning that to return is to die. The Mexican government should have heavy sanctions levied against it for providing aid to the invaders. The drug laden, disease infected criminals must not be allowed to invade our country. Any criminal foreigners in our jails should be shipped directly to President Fox. How much longer are we going to stand for this crap? Are you aware that there is a movement among Mexicans living in our country to take back the southwestern states? I'm all for legal imigration. I know many people who waited and waited for visas to enter this country legally. It is an insult to legal imigrants to allow the criminal invaders to live here. NO AMNESTY!!!!! Well, I hope this clears up any misunderstanding or questions you may have had on my stance on criminal invaders.
A really good friend of mine on the east coast is retiring at the end of the month. I am sure he will be a lot happier out of work than he ever was while he was working. Retirement is great, but the "golden years" suck.
I can finally hobble around the hoouse. It has been almost a week since I blew out my foot. I've been confined to quarters until today. It is hard to believe how much we depend on two good legs. My wife, busy little bee that she is, whipped right out last Sunday and got me some crutches. I damned near killed myself trying to learn how to operate the things. Never was successful. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.
And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.
I must apologize! I guess I was being much too subtle when I expressed my views on illegal, criminal aliens in our country. Allow me to provide some detail. The first act of an illegal is to commit a federal felony by crossing the border illegally. If they are caught, they should be immediately deported. The U.S. Army should be assigned to patrol our southern border. They should be given permission to shoot to kill if they detect invaders. All illegals found hiding in this country should be rounded up, loaded on barges and shipped to southern Mexico with a warning that to return is to die. The Mexican government should have heavy sanctions levied against it for providing aid to the invaders. The drug laden, disease infected criminals must not be allowed to invade our country. Any criminal foreigners in our jails should be shipped directly to President Fox. How much longer are we going to stand for this crap? Are you aware that there is a movement among Mexicans living in our country to take back the southwestern states? I'm all for legal imigration. I know many people who waited and waited for visas to enter this country legally. It is an insult to legal imigrants to allow the criminal invaders to live here. NO AMNESTY!!!!! Well, I hope this clears up any misunderstanding or questions you may have had on my stance on criminal invaders.
A really good friend of mine on the east coast is retiring at the end of the month. I am sure he will be a lot happier out of work than he ever was while he was working. Retirement is great, but the "golden years" suck.
I can finally hobble around the hoouse. It has been almost a week since I blew out my foot. I've been confined to quarters until today. It is hard to believe how much we depend on two good legs. My wife, busy little bee that she is, whipped right out last Sunday and got me some crutches. I damned near killed myself trying to learn how to operate the things. Never was successful. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.
And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Benefits
As much as I dislike this miserable valley, it does have some good features. For example, this morning one of my wife's little friends dropped off a huge bag of oranges and tangerines. These are not the kind you find in the stores in the north. The oranges are as big as grapefuits and the tangerines are as big as oranges. They came out of the fields this morning, so you just know they are sweet and juicy. A little later in the year, we will receive boxes and baskets of grapes.
We get grapes here in some varieties unknown to people outside this valley. So, I guess there are some compensations for living in this fishless place.
The mindless media, as usual, has gone completely berserk with their coverage of the Brian Nichols affair. While it is to be admitted that he is a very violent criminal, devoid of any traits that make him worth rehabilitating and knowing that he deserves to die as soon as possible, the media will not admit that the rest of the world did not stop turning as soon as this murdering idiot pulled the trigger. They have covered him 24/7. GIMMEE A BREAK!!!
You have probably noticed that Scott Peterson, another convicted murderer, is back in the news. The media wants you to believe that there are new developements in his case. The real reason, as predicted by this humble author, is that his new book has come out. How the hell can the prison system allow such atrocities? The entire United States prison system should take lessons from the sheriff in Arizona. His prisoners get no TV, no weight room, no library. They get to sleep in tents, winter and summer. They don't get really good food and he makes the men wear pink! That's my kind of law enforcement. There are almost NO returnees to his jail. Gee, I wonder why?
Now the wretches in the "human rights" organizations are starting to whine because, apparently, the number of prisoners at gitmo is dwindling. They fear that the U.S. is turning these low-lifes over to other governments for more thorough questioning. They know, and have known all along, that we treat our prisoners better than anyone in the world. They also know that if the Pakistanis or the Saudis get their hands on them, they will squeal like pigs. It's their own damned fault. They shouldn't have raised so much hell with the military. They shouldn't have tried to get them protection just like US citizens. I have no sympathy for the prisoners. The only thing I can says to the human rights advocates is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again the communist ACLU has shot themselves in the foot. I wish they would shoot themselves a little higher up. Say, just above the neck.
Now that summer is approaching, the moronic children with their obnoxious ghetto blasters are starting to creep out from under their rocks and back out onto the street. The usual motif is a nice looking truck or car with a 5,000 watt stereo system playing at full volume. Here's a little stock tip. Buy hearing aid company stocks. All of these stupid little jerks will need auditory assistance soon. Oh, what I'd give for an RPG!!!
It has cooled off today. Once again the temperature has plummeted to less than 70 degrees. BOOOO!! No fishing yet. BOOOO!! Once again, the weather here sucks.
We get grapes here in some varieties unknown to people outside this valley. So, I guess there are some compensations for living in this fishless place.
The mindless media, as usual, has gone completely berserk with their coverage of the Brian Nichols affair. While it is to be admitted that he is a very violent criminal, devoid of any traits that make him worth rehabilitating and knowing that he deserves to die as soon as possible, the media will not admit that the rest of the world did not stop turning as soon as this murdering idiot pulled the trigger. They have covered him 24/7. GIMMEE A BREAK!!!
You have probably noticed that Scott Peterson, another convicted murderer, is back in the news. The media wants you to believe that there are new developements in his case. The real reason, as predicted by this humble author, is that his new book has come out. How the hell can the prison system allow such atrocities? The entire United States prison system should take lessons from the sheriff in Arizona. His prisoners get no TV, no weight room, no library. They get to sleep in tents, winter and summer. They don't get really good food and he makes the men wear pink! That's my kind of law enforcement. There are almost NO returnees to his jail. Gee, I wonder why?
Now the wretches in the "human rights" organizations are starting to whine because, apparently, the number of prisoners at gitmo is dwindling. They fear that the U.S. is turning these low-lifes over to other governments for more thorough questioning. They know, and have known all along, that we treat our prisoners better than anyone in the world. They also know that if the Pakistanis or the Saudis get their hands on them, they will squeal like pigs. It's their own damned fault. They shouldn't have raised so much hell with the military. They shouldn't have tried to get them protection just like US citizens. I have no sympathy for the prisoners. The only thing I can says to the human rights advocates is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again the communist ACLU has shot themselves in the foot. I wish they would shoot themselves a little higher up. Say, just above the neck.
Now that summer is approaching, the moronic children with their obnoxious ghetto blasters are starting to creep out from under their rocks and back out onto the street. The usual motif is a nice looking truck or car with a 5,000 watt stereo system playing at full volume. Here's a little stock tip. Buy hearing aid company stocks. All of these stupid little jerks will need auditory assistance soon. Oh, what I'd give for an RPG!!!
It has cooled off today. Once again the temperature has plummeted to less than 70 degrees. BOOOO!! No fishing yet. BOOOO!! Once again, the weather here sucks.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
80 degrees!
At last the temperature has hit eighty degrees. It is almost warm enough to think about fishing, swimming and other sports for the mentally sound. If the weather holds like this or starts another upward climb, I should be fishing in a week or two. Note that while I was whining about the lousy weather, I never said I couldn't take it. I used to romp in that foul white crap, hunt in it, fish in it and drive in it. Then, I matured. I now am fully aware that so-called "winter sports" are really just a way for those trapped in the deep throws of ice and snow to compensate for their utter misery. They seem to be disturbed by the fact that some of us were smart enough to move out of those latitudes, while they were not. Over the long, frozen years, their brains have become defective from being iced down 90% of the time. They have my heartfelt sympathy and I hope they will accept my condolences.
I'll admit that wretched California is the home of west coast communism, but it is no worse than Massachusetts or New York. Those who are trapped in the asphalt jungles of the east have no real idea about mountains, plains and unending coast lines unless they have been fortunate enough to visit the west. Not California, but Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be westerners, believe that the entire east coast from Boston to Norfolk is covered in concrete and asphalt. It is loaded with crooks, criminals and communists. It is rife with corporate scum who embezzle the nations money. Several of my best friends are stuck in this horrible beehive. Since they know nothing else, they are probably trapped for good.
Once again, I am in the preliminary stages of planning a cross country tour. I hope I have better luck this year than in years past. Every time I try to go, I am stopped by physical BS. Ah, to be twenty again!! I don't care what AARP says, the "golden years" suck.
This is the month I pay off my computer. I mention this because microsoft has announced their new windows system "longbow". I am wondering if we can just upgrade to it or will we have to buy a whole new platform. Also, my pool crawler is on its last legs. It has lasted 9 years and beeen repaired many, many times. My pool service informs me that the next time it breaks, there will be nothing left to repair. I examined the device and found they are right. New ones are big bucks. I hope the taxman is good to me. Oh well.
I'll admit that wretched California is the home of west coast communism, but it is no worse than Massachusetts or New York. Those who are trapped in the asphalt jungles of the east have no real idea about mountains, plains and unending coast lines unless they have been fortunate enough to visit the west. Not California, but Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be westerners, believe that the entire east coast from Boston to Norfolk is covered in concrete and asphalt. It is loaded with crooks, criminals and communists. It is rife with corporate scum who embezzle the nations money. Several of my best friends are stuck in this horrible beehive. Since they know nothing else, they are probably trapped for good.
Once again, I am in the preliminary stages of planning a cross country tour. I hope I have better luck this year than in years past. Every time I try to go, I am stopped by physical BS. Ah, to be twenty again!! I don't care what AARP says, the "golden years" suck.
This is the month I pay off my computer. I mention this because microsoft has announced their new windows system "longbow". I am wondering if we can just upgrade to it or will we have to buy a whole new platform. Also, my pool crawler is on its last legs. It has lasted 9 years and beeen repaired many, many times. My pool service informs me that the next time it breaks, there will be nothing left to repair. I examined the device and found they are right. New ones are big bucks. I hope the taxman is good to me. Oh well.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Operation a success!!
Did you notice? A major cancer has been removed from the American news scene. Little Danny Blather, after years of stupidity in broadcast journalism, has been removed from the tumerous CBS channels. Many of us have prayed for this for years. He was a hard case liberal who stood slightly to the left of Karl Marx. I think he dragged the entire news industry downward toward liberalism. My only regret in this whole sordid episode is that I am writing a farewell instead of an epitaph.
The weather continues to grow warmer by the day. And now a word for those of you who back east who accused me of being a puss for whining about the weather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you enjoying those 5 foot snow drifts? Got icicle?
It was 77 here today in bright sunshine. My latest source of amusment on TV is the weather channel. It provides hours and hours of laughs.
Are you guys sick of Michael Jackson? I am. Every minute of every day on every news channel, we are force-fed the king of pop. It resembles the OJ trial. I immediately switch to another channel when the Jackson trial comes on. What a bore!!
My buddy Carl isn't fishing. He says the fishing at this time of year in Carolina sucks. Every time he calls, he wants to know if I've been to the ditch (aquaduct) to fish for stripers. Saddly, I haven't. I'll bet the fishing is good in Washington. Trout season is about to start. Wish I was there. If someone out there is catching any fish, let me know.
I guess the grandchildren won't be coming for spring break. Damned shame. Well, there is always this summer. At least that is something to look forward to.
Luckily, we got some fish and crabs from some friends up at Kodiak. Those crab legs sure were good. yum
The weather continues to grow warmer by the day. And now a word for those of you who back east who accused me of being a puss for whining about the weather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you enjoying those 5 foot snow drifts? Got icicle?
It was 77 here today in bright sunshine. My latest source of amusment on TV is the weather channel. It provides hours and hours of laughs.
Are you guys sick of Michael Jackson? I am. Every minute of every day on every news channel, we are force-fed the king of pop. It resembles the OJ trial. I immediately switch to another channel when the Jackson trial comes on. What a bore!!
My buddy Carl isn't fishing. He says the fishing at this time of year in Carolina sucks. Every time he calls, he wants to know if I've been to the ditch (aquaduct) to fish for stripers. Saddly, I haven't. I'll bet the fishing is good in Washington. Trout season is about to start. Wish I was there. If someone out there is catching any fish, let me know.
I guess the grandchildren won't be coming for spring break. Damned shame. Well, there is always this summer. At least that is something to look forward to.
Luckily, we got some fish and crabs from some friends up at Kodiak. Those crab legs sure were good. yum
Monday, March 07, 2005
At Last
Warmer weather is almost here! It got up to 75 today, which is my thermal cutoff point. I was able to leave the outside door to the bedroom open all day and got it aired out. 2 days from now, it will be 80. 2 weeks from now, it'll be 90. Summer is upon us!!
Teddy "boy" Kennedy, you know, the murdering rummy from Mass., is back in the news making stupid statements about the President and the present administration. He called them Hitlers. What a moron. It is a real mystery to me why the people of Massachusetts contiue to elect this idiot. It seems to me that he shouldn't be running around loose making dumb-ass remarks about other politicians. He should be in jail. Along with Bill and Hillary. All crooks. I guess those Bostonians are as stupid as I always thought they were.
Social Security was nice enough to raise our medicare premiums just enough to wipe out our cost of living increase. We therefore netted a big el goose-o eggo. I'm really worn out with politicians. It seems the only time our wallets are not in danger of recieving a cashectomy is when congress is not in session.
Its still a little chilly for fishing, but the time is fast approaching. I can almost taste those fresh surf perch. I hope I find a good spot so I can take my grandchildren there this summer. No word from Carl, my east coast fishing buddy on how is doing fishing. When he's quiet, its no good.
Now for the Delano weather report: It still sucks, but not as bad as it used to. Oh well.
Teddy "boy" Kennedy, you know, the murdering rummy from Mass., is back in the news making stupid statements about the President and the present administration. He called them Hitlers. What a moron. It is a real mystery to me why the people of Massachusetts contiue to elect this idiot. It seems to me that he shouldn't be running around loose making dumb-ass remarks about other politicians. He should be in jail. Along with Bill and Hillary. All crooks. I guess those Bostonians are as stupid as I always thought they were.
Social Security was nice enough to raise our medicare premiums just enough to wipe out our cost of living increase. We therefore netted a big el goose-o eggo. I'm really worn out with politicians. It seems the only time our wallets are not in danger of recieving a cashectomy is when congress is not in session.
Its still a little chilly for fishing, but the time is fast approaching. I can almost taste those fresh surf perch. I hope I find a good spot so I can take my grandchildren there this summer. No word from Carl, my east coast fishing buddy on how is doing fishing. When he's quiet, its no good.
Now for the Delano weather report: It still sucks, but not as bad as it used to. Oh well.
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