Bah, Humbug

And so we come to Christmas. Another year of being mugged by a fat man in a red suit. Ho Ho Hum. I assume, that like everyone else, you guys are spending far too much and will be regretting your largess well into next summer. I know I've already exceeded my Christmas budget by at least 200%. On the other hand, maybe a Christmas budget is merely a figment of our imaginations. It may not exist. Yeah, that's it!! I feel better already.

The weather report from Delano describes horror beyond belief. Night time temperatures are edging down toward freezing. Day time weather isn't much better, with temperatures seldom exceeding 60. I am counting the days until spring and it isn't even officially winter yet. That wretched moment happens on the 22nd. Fog is once again present in the valley. Another bonus. I now am absolutely positive I'm at least 1000 miles too far north.

It is most amusing watching the sports "experts" as they try to sort out who will polish off the Colts. The correct answer is, "Nobody will, if they play their first string the rest of the year." The only team that has a remote chance of beating them is Seattle, and it'll take a bushel of good luck for that to happen.

My wife has decided to present smoked ducks for our Christmas repast. I just love those tender little duckies. Yum. I have also ordered some smoked salmon. It'll be great, if a little non-traditional. Our Filipino friends have somehow found out about these succulent morsels and have invited themselves over for dinner. Oh well, maybe some of them will bring gifts. Does that sound too avaricious? I don't care. It is what it is.

I spend a lot of time these days trying to figure out how to totally destroy the ACLU with going to jail for it. At least those satan loving bastards are starting to lose on a lot of fronts, because the real Americans have been pushed too far. Maybe the miserable assholes will just sort of dissipate. Don't forget to fire your lawyer if he/she is an ACLU member. Let them know why they are being canned, then laugh at them.

If any of you guys are hunters or fishermen, don't forget to take some kids with you on your outdoor adventures. We need to instill in our children some traditional family values. I recently discovered that some little girls like hunting and fishing, so don't forget to ask them, too.

I'll try to post another blog before New Years. It'll give me another chance to whine and bitch about the weather. Or maybe I'll just weep silently. In fact. I'm starting now. boo hoo hoo