Bug out!!

There I sat enjoying my breakfast (a glass of tomato juice) when I detected some movement on the wall. I got up to inspect it and found that thousands of tiny vermin had invaded my home. ANTS!!! We have some definite ant problems in this valley. As soon as the good weather goes away, we are besieged by ants. Once they are in the house, it is impossible to evict them. We must wait for summer. Thank God winter is only 2 or 3 months long. I think next summer I will expend some serious money and time to see if I can bump all the little bastards off before the chill of winter sets in again.

Winter in the San Joaquin valley sucks!! We have lots of rain, fog and low, low temperatures. Even in the daytime our temperature often doesn't exceed 60 degrees. It is too cold to swim. Too cold to exercise outdoors. Too cold for anything useful. Luckily, I am an excellent couch potato, so I can hide inside all winter if need be.

98%. That is the number of people in a recent O'Reilly poll who think the young marine who shot the terrorist while being taped should be left alone. No court marshal. Maybe they should decorate him for doing exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. A couple of days later, one of his fellow marines was killed in a situation just like the one that got him into trouble. Don't those moralist jerks know what war means? One thing it means is bumping off anyone who might be a threat to you or your comrades. Only two days before this incident, this marine was shot in the face by a terrorist. It's a wonder he didn't kill everybody in that miserable town. I would have. The military claims that they are all for embedded journalists. I think it is a big mistake to have a group of morons with cameras galloping about the battlefield.

I couldn't believe that my Raiders knocked off the Broncos. I bet the Broncos can't believe it either. The University of Washington is looking for a new coach. Back in the good old days when Don James was the coach, UW was a rough, tough group who could play with anyone. This new guy, like the idiot at Nebraska, has installed a "finesse" offense. It does not work! Once again, for clarity, it does not work!! Both of these coaches will be down the road kickin' cans next year. Maybe they could cross-train into ballet teachers.

Only 3 1/2 weeks to Christmas. Bend over.

Abroad II

As I was saying before I was so rudely interupted. Why are these broads appearing as announcers at football games? They have invaded the ranks of both college and pro. There is room for them in the world of sports reporting. It is called "women's sports." Don't they understand that one of the main reasons men watch sports if to get away from them, if only for a little while. I understand that the feminazis and the ACLU have, with the permission of the liberal courts, conspired to weasel their way into this moment of quiet. They are even forced to allow women into the dressing rooms. I know that some will say I am a misogynist, but that is simply not true. I just want a little relief. Maybe I'm a chauvinist. I don't watch women's sports. They are generally slow and powerless. The one sport wherein women out perform men by a wide margin is "talking."

The wretched Irish have lost again. This time, it was to USC. Life is good. The USC quarterback threw for 400 yards and 5 touchdowns. hahahahaha. Not that I dislike Notre Dame, but I dislike Notre Dame.

Yesterday it rained like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Today it is cool, but sunny. Winter sucks. They should ship everybody who thinks winter is fun to Canada. That way, they could be cold all the time and, as a bonus, they could quit thinking.

Abroad!!

Why, oh why?

I wish I could watch the news without having to endure another analysis of why the democrats lost. It should be obvious to the most casual observer that kerry lost because of kerry. He was identified early on as a big time anti military spender with lousy ideas. He was shown to continuously waffle on all issues. He thinks he lost because of the Ben Laden tape, or the boat people movie, or pregnant chads....etc, etc. etc.. Nobody lost it for him. He lost it himself. Unlike the career explosion of dean, he slowly burned himself to the ground. So stop it already. We've heard enough from the losers.

At last, we get to witness the departure of Dan Blather. Most conservatives have awaited this moment for years. He has performed several stupid spectacles in his career, but this latest one finally got him. So long, chump.

You will notice that the entire continent is colder than a whores heart. It's too bad we stopped losing the ozone layer. We need warmth. I believe that what is happening is global cooling. The environmental nuts are wrong. If we have global warming, why isn't it warm? The "experts" have been babbling on and on for a couple of decades about the myth of global warming. Hey there, experts....Shut up.

I bet the prison officials where Martha Stewart is incarcerated are really unhappy. That is because when K-Mart and Sears merged, Martha made thirty million dollars over night. The idiots that put her in prison won't see thirty million in their lifetimes. I wonder if they are resting easier now that this dangerous criminal is behind bars. I know I sure am.

Only five weeks until Christmas. ugh.

Well, the fools at PETA are asking us all to have a vegetarian Thanksgiving and forgo the turkeys. What is the matter with those bufoons? They want us to stop hunting, fishing, eating any kind of meat. I think they are even against eggs. What's going to happen when those morons discover that flowers display some measure of displeasure when they are cut? No more flowers? No more vegetables? That only leaves water and air. If they want to survive on only air and water, I say let's encourage them to try it. A good fool is a dead fool.

I can hardly wait for springtime. I have a burning desire to go fishing again. I know I'll get to go when I visit Spokane again. My brother has a boat. I want to try surf perch fishing again. We caught a bunch of them the last time I went, but that was several years ago. Yup, next spring I will leap into action and give it a try.

Dan who?

Let's see....there is a war in Iraq, we are hunting the #1 terrorist in the world in Afghanistan, the southeastern U.S. is flooded and expecting tornados, and Greenspan has crashed the stock market. What are the talking heads on network news babbling non-stop about? Why it's the firing of Dan Blather, one of the more useless individuals on televison. To make matters worse, we'll be hearing about this bufoon all day, every day until his exit in March. Then there will be the "specials" and documentaries. This is a graphic demonstration of what the tv newsies think of the American people. I wonder why they believe that news people are worth more than real people.

So the main criminal in the basketball fiasco got suspended for a year. Now the lawsuits will fly as the lawyers extract maximum cash from all parties and the courts will get their pound of flesh too. Several messages left on this blog have asked why I didn't blame the parents also. Well, I forgot. But they were right! I should have placed a lot of the blame for this on the soccer moms and baseball dads. They are the ones who have initial responsibility for the behaviour of their children. Then there is our super liberal court system. If one of these maniacs is brought before the bar of justice, chances are pretty good that they'll get a light tap on the wrist and be turned loose again to practice their evil. If you gave every player in the NBA and the NFL the same kind of legal treatment that everybody else gets, there would be a major drop in sports related crime. We desperately need to stop coddling these morons from day one. It starts at home and continues through their mostly useless lives.

My fishing buddy back in North Carolina reports that the fishing there is improving. If I can make a trip back there next summer, I'll have to check it out.

Sports??

The disgusting displays of violence on the basketball court and the gridiron confirm what I've said all along. "Pro" athletes are a bunch of pampered, low IG'd goons who would be in prison if they weren't coddled their whole lives by teams, coaches and their mommies. How in the hell can you justify taking millions of dollars to PLAY a GAME and then react like a bunch of neanderthals? Of course, I've got a fix for it. Every sport at every level needs to levy some heavy penalties for this kind of behaviour. In professional sports, fighting should result in immediate and indefinite suspension and a heavy fine. Since they're "pros" 50 grand doesn't sound too steep. At the college level, a ten game suspension should solve the problem. Athletes don't understand much, but they do understand money. At the high school level, immediate and unconditional release from the team should do it. May as well nip it in the bud. This goes for all sports including hockey. Boxing is the sole exception. It might help if the "players" were assured that they'd get to spend their off time in jail for assault. Too harsh? Tough!

Several of you requested access to the comment portion of the blog. I have now provided it, but have seen little result. Don't you guys have anything to say about all this nonsense? If I get no comments, I will have to conclude that I am 100% right all the time!! That means I'll get even more egotistical and will bloviate at length. Oh well.

PESD

It seems the liberals are suffering from Post Election Stress Disorder. One idiot in Washington D.C. even commited suicide because of it. More liberals should follow his lead. We are extremely fortunate that the liberals do not control either house of congress. If they did, they would doubtless generate some huge government agency, at great expense, to deal with it. The mental health doctors are recommending lots of mental assistance. I agree. Most liberals need lots and lots of mental help. Of course if they were completely cured, they'd be conservatives and would no longer be the victims of PESD.

kerry is now blaming Osama Ben Laden for his recent total defeat. He's probable got PESD too.

My Okies won again. Every week they look a little stronger. If they get to play in the national champoinship game, they'll definitely kick ass. There is no way the can miss. They've got the best quarterback and the best running back in the country..

Alan Greeenspan, the most powerful person on earth, has thrown a great big kink into the stock market again. Every time he has a meeting, I hold my breath to see if the Alan giveth or the Alan taketh away.

Are you counting the days until spring? I am. When I was a kid and a lot dumber than I am now, I thought all that cold weather stuff was great. We used to play in the snow. We used to hunt in the snow. We even used to fish in really bad weather. Time and experience has shown the follie of these nonsensical manuevers. I hope those environmental nitwits are right. We could definitely use some global warming. There isn't anything we can do about it anyway. According to geologists, thes warming and cooling periods are a natural phenomenon. Oh well

Condoleeza and ?

It looks like President Bush has named Condoleeza Rice as his next secretary of state. I think it is an excellent choice. She is currently his national security advisor and is used to dealing with the bums overseas.

Speaking of bums, the latest inane babblings of Chirac are now dribbling through TV land. What a bufoon. I suspect that the investigation into the U.N. food for oil debacle will reveal that good ole Chirac has pocketed a few euros from this scam.

Speaking of the U.N., isn't it time to kick those a--holes out of our country? We get damned little cooperation from them. We fund them heavily. They are a hotbed of spies with immunity. The secretary general is corrupt.Most of the security council is corrupt. I think a great place to relocate them would be Paris. France deserves it. North Korea wouldn't be a bad idea, either.

Speaking of North Korea, why are we taking any horse shit from this gang of murdering criminals? The time is fast approaching when we will have to deal with them on a bomb to commie basis. There is no time like the present. Same goes for Iran. There is no use in talking to these kinds of rogues. The only thing they understand is raw power. We should show them some. These two countries are prime examples of what can happen to you if you allow a single group of politicians to dominate your country.

Speaking of domination, have you noticed that the secularists, lead by the ACLU, are starting to try to dominate the will of the American people? The time has come to erradicate this infection of our society. If they want to live somewhere where there is total separation of church and state, again, North Korea would be a great place to relocate them. I'm no Bible thumper, but I do believe in God, just as our founding fathers did. This country was founded on Christian principles and if unrestricted it, too, could run amok, our Christian principles are what make this country great.

Speaking of this great country, remember that it is OUR great country. Immigrants should be required to learn our language and blend into our culture. There is no reason for us to have to adapt to them. If I wanted to speak Spanish, I'd go to Spain! Aliens, especially illegal aliens, have no right to push around the majority population of our country. Don't you think it is time to reverse the courts and take our country back? Not to do so would mean the end of us as a nation.

Speaking of the end, this is it.

Misc. B.S.

The fight for Faluja is almost over. Of course, the chief bad guys got away. I have a solution to this problem of the main idiots escaping. Here it is: When we know which village these a__holes are in, we hit the town with a low-yield nuke. Before we implement this policy, we let it be known what's going to happen to your little village if we suspect that the big jerks are there. That way, the locals would no longer be willing to hide them for fear that they would suddenly disappear in a nuclear cloud. It would serve notice to terrorists world-wide that we are crazy enough to blow their whole damn country apart if it means getting one of the main perps. Does that make me a hawk? I hope so.

As time marches on, I began to suspect that my IQ was dropping. So I took a couple of those tests on the internet, and sure enough, I'm off about 20 points. That means that in 20 years, I'll be just as dumb as everybody else. Does that sound egotistical? I hope so.

Most of my favorite pro football teams got their butts kicked this weekend. I'm glad that I'm not a betting man. I'd be living in a cardboard box and eating cat food.

Thanksgiving is getting closer. It is the perfect holiday for us fat guys. We can just eat everything in sight and nobody cares. The rest of the year, we get lectured on the virtues of celery and carrot sticks. eeewwwww.

Of course if Thanksgiving is approaching, so is Christmas. I find it hard to believe that upon the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, a fat guy in a red suit appeared and, after sneaking around a fir tree in his eight rendeer powered sled, started distributing presents to every body in sight. Where did we get such a notion? How many holly trees are in the middle east? Ans: zero. Well, tis the season to be jolly, so I guess I'll suck it up again. HOHOHO. No, that is a laugh, not a reference to your girlfriend. does that make me a grinch? Oh well.

I am sure we are all saddened to witness the departure of Colin Powell from the State Dept.. He is a truly great and honorable man. Maybe he'll run for President. If he does, he's got my vote.
It is rare that we get some one with his integrity, honesty and experience in a high position.

Whining? Who, me?

I recently got this blog set up so that my loyal readers could make comments on it. Wouldn't you know that the very first comment was whining about my whining. He wants more sports. So do I. However, there are damn few sports to participate in here in the San Joaquin valley. There isn't much water for fishing and what there is is hard to get to. I'll try surf fishing next spring, but as for now, nope. The waters I fish have to be really accessible because I can't get to them due to physical limitations. I even had to sell my boat because I couldn't get to it. Besides, my header promises whining and it's mostly whining you'll get until next spring. If I go hunting, it'll have to be in a different state. Hunting in California resembles a trip to Iraq. Everybody's shooting at everything. Scared the hell out of me and that ain't easy. So much for the opening sob-story.

Well, they found Scott Peterson guilty which is bad news for TV viewers since it means we'll have to go through the whole sentencing, appeals, analysis and other court related nonsense. I guess our only hope for relief from all this insane yammer is if someone bumps him off in jail.

My Okie football team is winning and winning. They are stronger this year than last year. I'd like to see them knock off USC in the championship game. They may not get there, though, because Auburn looks awfully tough and may wind up at the top of the heap. Wisconsin got rubbed out, so they are no longer unbeaten. Then there is Boise State. and Utah. I wonder how they would do against some PAC Ten or Big Eight schools. Notre Dame took gas again. hahahaha

Cheney hit the hospital today and the media immediately concluded that he had a heart attack. Turned out to be not much. We're lucky the stock market wasn'y open. That bunch of flimsy dweebs on Wall Street would have panicked for sure.

Yaser Arafat, chief middle east obstructionist and all round idiot finally croaked. Maybe Castro will follow suit. We can only hope. The middle east is beyond doubt the most screwed up area in the world. I think the only way to bring peace there is to nuke them into non-existence and then rope the place off for a few thousand years. Does that make me a warmonger or am I just being practical?

test shot

This is more or less a test shot to find out if you lucky readers can post commentary about my calm, serene meanderings. Try to control yourselves, remember, I know where you live.

Calamansi season is upon us along with persimmon time. Norma went out yesterday and picked two six gallon buckets of calamansi. She's been squeezing juice out of them ever since. It'll take her days and days to finish them. HAHAHAHAHA. No calamansi squeezer I. Too much work. For those of you who are unenlightened, calamansi is the Filippino version of the lemon. It has lots of seeds and is only the size of the end of your thumb. It makes a really good juice for lemonade or in mixed drinks, but it is a pain in the butt to squeeze. It is far more sour than a lemon, so if you are going to try them, exercise caution.

My grandson finally got the printer we sent him for his birthday (it was on the 7th). It's hard to believe that it takes that long to ship stuff. What do they use that shipping money for??? Beers for the boys, no doubt.

The mainstream media is once again out of step with reality. They whine about Gitmo. They whine about Iraq. The thing that pisses me off is that the pansies doing the loudest whining have never been there and ain't about to go. It should be obvious to the most casual observer that if you want a war story, you go to the war. You do not sit passing gas through your waffle-bottom chair and query Europe about our progress. If those morons knew anything, we'd still be an English colony surrounded by the Spanish and the flimsy French. Speaking of Europeans, why should we listen to anything that limp-wristed bunch pussies has to say? About every forty or fifty years, we wind up saving their sorry butts from some horror they've let themselves in for. Then we have to rebuild their industry and infrastructure, just so they can cut our throats in the marketplace. Next time they get their tits in a crack, we ought to let them sink like a brick.


Time to go. Can't wait to see if this comments deal works.

Scott, what?

Scott Peterson!! Scott Peterson!! I am sick of hearing about Scott Peterson. Let's fry him or turn him loose, but get his ass off my TV. You realize, of course, that if a mistrial is declared, we can look forward to another 2 years of this horse shit. I don't care if he's innocent or guilty. I just want him to go away!! He is no longer real news. He's just a pain in the ass.

The weather here continues to suck. Fog settled in this morning. It rained on us again. It is cold. YUK!!!

I wonder what those smart-ass terrorists are thinking now that their bubble is bursting. I'll bet that most of those chicken hearted cowards disguise themselves as real people and try to slither away. Every one of them that we catch should be summarily shot. After all, shouldn't trials and other civilized amenities be reserved for people and not animals posing as people? As the Marines say, "kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out".

I am counting on winning the lottery tomorrow, so I have been searching the web for houses in the 2 to 5 million dollar range. There are some really, really nice ones for sale at those prices. Right now, I can't afford the taxes on any of them, but when that big win comes through, Fat City!!

Citrus season is almost here in Southern California. That means we'll be getting fresh oranges and grapefruits. It's a good thing, too, because we're about burned out with grapes. I hope this miserable weather doesn't freeze the crops. Then I'd have to buy citrus. Rats!

60 degrees. That's all it is going to make this week. 60 degrees. I might as well be in Anchorage. At least you can fish up there while you freeze your ass off. I hope all those daffy duck weather men are happy. They bitch all summer about heat and then proclaim fall as "perfect weather." If those dopes think this is perfect weather, why don't they move to North Dakota? Why are they in Bakersfield? Throw them bums out!!

Thank God, the election is over. The good guys won. Now, if only the "news" programs would let it go, we'd be in great shape. But no!!! We'll have to listen to those left wing hypocrites babble on and on about "what happened?", "will hillary run in 2008?" on and on incessantly. SHUT THE F--- UP!! We're burned out.

I swear, this is my last political commentary for four years.

I have decided that duck hunting is the perfect fall sport for me. All you have to do is bring some suck...uh.. hunting companion along to set the decoys. Let the dog do all the work. All I'll have to do is blast those little duckies out of the sky.

Sometimes I wish I was in good enough shape to go back overseas again, but then I think I'm just too lazy to work anymore. I would like to make some extra bucks. I'm too dumb to learn any new stuff. I'm too chicken to knock over liquor stores. Beside, I can't drive fast enough these days to outrun the fuzz. Oh well.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! and gloat, gloat, gloat. Does that sound like I'm a poor winner? I am. So what? The key word is winner. Like the SEALS say, second finisher is first loser. At least we won't have to listen to any more lies from that east coast gas bag. He can take his whole herd of traveling bufoons and his troll, teresa, back to his digs and contemplate his defeat.

I wonder why the entire west coast votes for those wretched dumocraps? I've got the answers. The people of Oregon do it because they've always been about half communist. The people of Washington do it because there are too many Californians up there. The people of California do it because they are stupid. You will notice that rest of the entire western part of the U.S. went with President Bush. Not these idiots.

On a lighter note, we bid farwell to the obstructionist, Tom Daschle. Maybe now the Senate can do some actual work. The Republicans increased their majority in both the Senate and the House. So the entire kerry komedy show was a complete bust. HAHAHAHA.

Winter has arrived here in earnest. The temperature has plummeted into the sixties. Only four months to go to spring. I would really like to make a trip to Washington when summer arrives up there. That would be July 15 to August 30......maybe.

My oldest grandson is now 15. It is hard to believe that we have all grown so old, so fast. The pity of the whole situation is that all of us think we're still twenty, even though we know deep in or dark little hearts that father time is tracking us down. Why isn't there a mother time? Is it because women are age-sensitive?

We have now entered holiday season. An unending string of parties and presents. The retailers dream. The husbands nightmare. Women love it because it is a legitimate excuse to whip out those credit cards and charge. Non-stop shopping until February. Gift returns. Complaints. Men hate it because it is akin to tip-toeing through a mine field. One little mis-step and booom...daddy parts all over the tree!! It is also expensive. We get to blow our fishing vacation bucks on candy and presents. Oh well.