OK, let's stop pretending that anyone is going to mount a serious challenge to the magnificence of Tiger Woods. Several of the lick-spittles have tried and all have fallen short. The thing that is most scary about Tiger is that even when he's not playing very well(for him) he's still head and shoulders above the pack. I believe that he is capable of winning every tournament he's in and will win most of them. He is the only reason I watch golf on TV. Those of you who are golfers know how difficult it is to perform the way he does, and yet he makes it seem easy.
On a sad note, I have not won the lottery yet. It pisses me off to see undeserving morons march of with my millions week after week. Oh well, I'm stupid enough to keep trying. After all, if you don't enter, your chances of winning are zero.
We are getting closer to selling this house. One day, my blog will read "Viva Las Vegas". You will know then that I have escaped the communist state of kalifornia. I am hopeful that there will be some hunting opportunities for geezers in Nevada. I know the fishing in Lake Mead is good. Maybe I'll buy another house boat. I need to teach my grandchildren to shoot before I get too feeble.
Only four more months until preseason football starts. I can't wait. I'm tired of tennis. I don't like hockey or soccer. I'm still mad at baseball. It is damned hard being a curmudgeon.
I wonder if the Las Vegas give comps to geezers. I'll have to check that out. Vegas is just south of Area 51. Maybe I can finagle a ride on a flying saucer. YEEEEHAAAWW!!! I do have major navigation problems in Vegas. Probably comes from living in a dinky town for 20 years. I'm getting too old to drive anyway. My grandkids can haul my fat ass around.
The weather is getting alittle better here. It was 83 today. Tolerable. Delano gets a "C" for weather this time.
I guess that there is no more to heap praise or scorn upon. An altogether so-so blog. So it goes.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Californication
There is a minor indication that we may have an offer on this house. That would mean we could move to Las Vegas much sooner than I thought possible. My wifey has started getting offers on assorted items (pool table, furniture, etc.) so maybe she's actually serious this time. Finding a house in our price range in Vegas should be no problem. My real estate spy, Clay, sends me e-mail on a daily basis with housing information. When I have the money clutched in my hot little hands, I'll sail over the mountain and be Californicated no more. Oh blessed day. Oh glorious relief!! Oh, hell, it ain't happened yet. I'll celebrate in sin city.
The other day I sent an e-mail around showing some rapist getting his pee-pee whacked off. A friend of mine wrote me and said he thought that this was the correct punishment for the crime of rape. I thought about that for 3 minutes or so and decided that my friend was right. That way, you don't have to feed some asshole in prison and he can't do it again 'cause he ain't got no pole left. At last, the Moslems got something right.
At last, we have turned on the airconditioner. Months and months of frigid weather appears to be over. The skies are blue again and temps are reaching toward 90. Oh, yesssss.
Our last group of house guests have gone. She left the day after I filed her divorce papers. I don't know whether she went back to the idiot or not. She told me she was going to San Jose, but she left a forwarding address in Palm Springs. Oh well.
I am really looking forward to moving to Las Vegas. It has much to offer. A big lake full of fish. More casinos than anywhere on earth. A great race track. Excellent colleges. But its main selling point is, it ain't in California. If you get the idea that I'm happy, happy about leaving this wretched state, you are 100% right!!
Great days appear to lie ahead. Being the eternal pessimist, I can see several things that could go awry. Maybe, for once, fortune will smile upon me.
And so it goes.
The other day I sent an e-mail around showing some rapist getting his pee-pee whacked off. A friend of mine wrote me and said he thought that this was the correct punishment for the crime of rape. I thought about that for 3 minutes or so and decided that my friend was right. That way, you don't have to feed some asshole in prison and he can't do it again 'cause he ain't got no pole left. At last, the Moslems got something right.
At last, we have turned on the airconditioner. Months and months of frigid weather appears to be over. The skies are blue again and temps are reaching toward 90. Oh, yesssss.
Our last group of house guests have gone. She left the day after I filed her divorce papers. I don't know whether she went back to the idiot or not. She told me she was going to San Jose, but she left a forwarding address in Palm Springs. Oh well.
I am really looking forward to moving to Las Vegas. It has much to offer. A big lake full of fish. More casinos than anywhere on earth. A great race track. Excellent colleges. But its main selling point is, it ain't in California. If you get the idea that I'm happy, happy about leaving this wretched state, you are 100% right!!
Great days appear to lie ahead. Being the eternal pessimist, I can see several things that could go awry. Maybe, for once, fortune will smile upon me.
And so it goes.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Look!! Its a light!!!
At last, the big red ball has returned to our skies. With daytime temps running into the high 70s, and with the rest of the nation on snow alert, it woould be uncouth of me to suggest that this weather is less than OK. Of course, the temp still plummets down to 45 or so at night, but since I don't go out at night, I don't have to see it. I guess the Delano weather report is, "ho-hum".
Another small light in the darkness is that a federal judge has finally sobered up and struck down the total gun ban in Washington, D.C. At least one of those communist dorks can read the second amendment. Most of our national gun laws are almost carbon copies of the laws that were jammed through Germany by the Nazis. Maybe we're starting to get at least a little smart. I'll bet that Schummer and Clinton are crying bitter tears over this victory. Thank you, NRA. Speaking of despicable things, we're not seriously thinking about hillary for president, are we? That would be an even bigger error than electing her husband. Or carter, or johnson. The list of incompetent liberal idiots goes on and on.
March madness is on in NCAA basketball. Somehow, I just can't seem to get excited about it. I don't know why. It just doesn't turn me on. Yes, I'm still whining about football. Can't wait until August.
My buddy in North Carolina has been catching so many spotted weakfish (speckled trout) that he has had to buy another freezer. I wish I could go with him. He just has a ball all the time and he's damn near 70 years old. Drinks heavy. Smokes heavy. He must have come from an excellent gene pool. Am I jealous? Hell yes!!
Oh yeah, it is that time of year when the federal extortionists crawl out from under their rocks and rob everybody. The abolition of the IRS should be everyone's top priority. Let your dead-beat congressmen know how you feel. Try to get those worthless bums to get off their numb butts and do something besides collect and waste your money.
You may be asking if I'm ever happy about anything. The answer is 'yes'. But I'm not going to tell you what it is because then, you would give it to me all the time. That would cheapen the experience and make me unhappy.
And so it goes.
My little girl, Robie is freezing her butt off up in Kodiak, Alaska. I called her last night and it was 13 degrees. But, on the brighter side, they say it will warm up to 20 today. hahahaha I told her so.
Another small light in the darkness is that a federal judge has finally sobered up and struck down the total gun ban in Washington, D.C. At least one of those communist dorks can read the second amendment. Most of our national gun laws are almost carbon copies of the laws that were jammed through Germany by the Nazis. Maybe we're starting to get at least a little smart. I'll bet that Schummer and Clinton are crying bitter tears over this victory. Thank you, NRA. Speaking of despicable things, we're not seriously thinking about hillary for president, are we? That would be an even bigger error than electing her husband. Or carter, or johnson. The list of incompetent liberal idiots goes on and on.
March madness is on in NCAA basketball. Somehow, I just can't seem to get excited about it. I don't know why. It just doesn't turn me on. Yes, I'm still whining about football. Can't wait until August.
My buddy in North Carolina has been catching so many spotted weakfish (speckled trout) that he has had to buy another freezer. I wish I could go with him. He just has a ball all the time and he's damn near 70 years old. Drinks heavy. Smokes heavy. He must have come from an excellent gene pool. Am I jealous? Hell yes!!
Oh yeah, it is that time of year when the federal extortionists crawl out from under their rocks and rob everybody. The abolition of the IRS should be everyone's top priority. Let your dead-beat congressmen know how you feel. Try to get those worthless bums to get off their numb butts and do something besides collect and waste your money.
You may be asking if I'm ever happy about anything. The answer is 'yes'. But I'm not going to tell you what it is because then, you would give it to me all the time. That would cheapen the experience and make me unhappy.
And so it goes.
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