Gone Again

Yes, another year is about to drift astern. I, for one, am happy to see 2007 go away. While parts of it were okay, all in all it was a disastrous annum. The tales of tribulation started in January and are basically still with us. I would list them but there are far too many and I am far too lazy. I only hope that 2008 is kinder to us than 2007 was.

Well, the wretched New England Patriots have now won every regular season game. They are the first team to accomplish this feat in 35 years. We must recognize their achievement and pray for a first round loss in the play offs. It would be extremely pleasant if they could be defeated by the Seahawks.

While downloading oriental female singers, I stumbled across anime. Boy, some of it is really graphic! I have to buy a larger hard drive. Between music and porn, I'm running out of room. It probably doesn't help that I've got about sixty full sized programs loaded. I could also use more RAM. In fact, I could probably use a whole new computer. The one I want costs a little over 10 grand. All donations gratefully accepted.

OK, guys, reach into your pockets. Anything in there? Of course not! The fat guy in the red suit got it all. Most of you can take comfort in strong drink. I am medically prevented from this cure, so I'll just have to suffer. Poor me!

The weather just keeps getting colder and colder. Many of my wife's fruit trees have croaked. Delano once again scores a big, fat "F" for weather. Don't forget to sock a global warming advocate in the mouth.

Football season is rapidly coming to an end. I really hate to see it go. The next bright spot is summer. Then, football again. Notice a pattern here?

New Years parties are close on the horizon. It's my second most favorite holiday, because I can act like an idiot and everyone thinks it is normal, just partying! My favorite holiday, of course, is Thanksgiving because I can gorge myself on roasted bird, dressing and pie. My least favorite holiday is Valentines day. Who the hell was Valentine and how did he get big enough for a whole day to be devoted to him? I think the whole thing was invented by women to extract extra cash from us.

I have noticed something really odd about my writing. I forget what I've written almost immediately. When I go back and read it a month or so later, I find that some of it is really good and some of it sucks. The problem is that it all looks good to me while I'm writing it. I've also noticed that I have almost no control over the characters or the plot. When I start writing, they just seem to take on a life of their own and I wind up writing something I never intended when I started. I must be a lot weirder than I think I am.

I can't believe I've lived another year. Ten years ago I would have bet all I owned on not making it this far. Time will tell how much longer I'll last. Right now, I feel pretty good, all things considered.

The time has come to return to my wonderful world of make believe. I can almost hear the relaxing melodies of Koda Kumi or Trish Thuy Trang. My anime characters are just waiting for my return.

Happy New Year!

HANDS UP!!!

That's right, reach for the sky! Once again you guys are going to be robbed by a fat man in a red suit. He will be assisted by a hoard of women and children who will leave you destitute and broken. On the brighter side, you'll just be able to break even by Easter when you'l be robbed by a rabbit. How did Christmas ever get so out of hand? I can't blame the miserable liberals for this one. It was done by the establishment capitalists. The have advertised us into the poor house at regular intervals throughout the year. I love capitalism, but it has a dwonside. The downside is that it produces slick ads that appeal to the gullible, the greedy and the stupid. Deck the halls with plastic holly from K-Mart. You know your kids need a couple of dozen new toys to go with the fifty or so old ones you got them last Christmas. Ebeneezer was right! Bah! Humbug!
So much for Holiday cheer!

The good thing about Christmas is that it gives us a chance to renew our relationships. Even if we don't get to see our loved ones, they are still in our thoughts. We also get a chance to say some heartfelt prayers for those we love. I have many people to pray for this year, some are not in great shape, but I know from personal experience that prayer works. We get a chance to thank God for sending us his son. We get a chance to thank his son for saving our worthless asses. So when you are shredding the wrappers on those gifts, think about whose birthday it is.

There was frost on the ground this morning. Ugh! It is getting colder than a whore's heart now. Daytime temps are barely reaching fifty five and at night we plummet down to the mid thirties. It never used to get that cold here. The next time you get a chance, punch a global warming advocate in the nose. Delano gets another 'F'.

The college football season is almost over and the pros are in the final stretch. There will be lots of games and excitement until February. Then the flames will die and we'll have to wait another seven months for football to return. Boo Hiss

My fishing partner in North Carolina has been killing the striped bass. He bought a new freezer and filled it up. Now he has two freezers full of fish. Am I jealous? Hell yes!

Duty calls! I must return to my manuscripts. I still haven't made any money with them, but they are a lot of fun.

Ho Ho Ho

And the answer is.....

Gee gang, is it xmas? Winter break? Holiday time?

NO, YOU IDIOTS!!! IT IS CHRISTMAS, WITH A CAPITAL 'CHRIST!' How did we allow the secularists to take over our holiday? 86% of Americans want to keep Christ in Christmas. Aren't we the land of the free and the home of the brave? I think it is time to get 'brave'. Impeach the secular bastards that sit on our benches. A judge who doesn't believe in god belongs in a soup line. Kick their worthless asses out of our courts and into the streets. Let them preach their vile pap to the pigeons. It seems to me that 85 to 15 pretty much represents a majority. I thought that in this country, the majority was supposed to make the rules. If the minority don't want to celebrate Christmas, let them drool in a corner until it is over. This country was founded on Christian principles for Christian people. If non-Christians want to live here, that's fine as long as they keep their idiotic mouths shut. Christmas aside, we have allowed this same group of self serving godless bums to strip our government of our protective religious coat. The dopes on the bench are negating our Constitution. Freedom of religion has somehow morphed into freedom from religion. Is anybody stupid enough to think that this is what the founding fathers wanted. Apparently the imbeciles in the courts think our Constitution is a 'living' document. Our country is in turmoil because of this stupidity. Our Constitution is not a 'living' document. It is a rock solid, never changing set of instruction on how to operate our Republic. I expect that the only time these liberals atheists will have to answer for their sins is when they stand before God. We all know how that will turn out.

I guess this is as good a time as any to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. As you celebrate, don't forget whose birthday it is.

The weather here remains cold and miserable. Another 'F' for Delano.

Are any of you down loading Koda Kumi or Trish Thuy Trang? They are really excellent and their videos beat the crap out of most of the ones produced by Hollywood. If you don't know how to download them, write me and I'll provide instructions.

I wish we could spend Christmas with my daughter again this year but we just can't quite manage it. Maybe I'll win the lottery.

So it goes

Today?

Most of you younger types probably think that this is the day that Barry Bonds pleaded 'not guilty' or when Michael Vick is due to be sentenced. Maybe it is the anniversary of some celebrity. WRONG!!! Today we remember the victims of the cowardly attack on Pearl Harbor ad the subsequent horror and torture perpetrated by the ruthless Japanese. All of you foreign car fans, look with pride on your Toyota or Nissan. They are made by the same industry that produce the ships and aircraft that killed thousands of Americans. After we had whipped their little asses, they tried to kill our auto industry. If you bought a car from them, you are helping them win the post war. The sleazy little bastards even had thought of us giving up and going home. Are we giving up now? Think about it.

It has rained upon me! The bitter cold has now turned wet. I need to be standing in the monsoon rains which come out of the sky at eighty degrees. Why am I not there? I've said it before, "stupidity." Anyway, Delano has once again failed the weather test. "F" for this miserable little village.

We have come to the end of the weirdest regular college football season ever. How the hell did Ohio Sate and LSU wind up in the national championship game? We desperately need a playoff system. I think the NCAA is corrupted almost to the same point as professional boxing. To add to the misery, the officiating sucks. What's more, if the officials are subjected to any kind of criticism from an NCAA school, the school and the players are severely chastised. If the system didn't suck so bad, nobody would blame the officials. No celebrating!! Major error!!! Don't make it fun. Make it a punishment tour.

In pro ball, a player can be fined or even suspended for violation of any one of a number of uniform rules, most of which make no sense. The NFL (No Fun League) will fine players big time money for minor uniform violations or celebrations. When I see the league steal ten or fifteen thousand bucks from a player, it really annoys me. I know the players can afford it. That's not the point. The point is that this is supposed to be a free country where things are equal. I cannot imagine the furor that would arise if some lame brained judge fined somebody for wearing the wrong suit

Which brings us to inequality in general. I know the Negroes had a tough time getting to where they are. I know that some Mexicans have hard feelings about real Americans. The problem, and it is one that is supported by our political system, is that we have allowed the "Politically Correct" left wingers to take over our very way of life. How is it that a black man can make as many jokes as he wants about the whites and get paid for it when a white man doing black jokes is castigated? A negro college? What is that? An insult? It is a double standard perpetrated by those who are interested in keeping our society segregated. I know that there are plenty of bigots out there to go around. They are assisted by whites and blacks who insist on categorizing people. I think of myself as an American. How many black guys think of themselves in the same way? How the hell are we ever going to get integrated if we make these distinctions every day of our lives? The people who embrace the concept of black-american or mexican-american are not the friends of unity. Rather, they represent the forces of enmity. In reality, there are no hyphenated Americans. All who have really embraced our Republic and our society are just plain old Americans. Skin color and origin should mean nothing to U.S. citizens. I wonder how much hate mail this little paragraph will generate? I guess it depends on how many readers have thin skins and thinner minds.

A hole in the world

After the cowardly muslim attack on the WTC, the Eagles wrote a song called, "A hole in the world". Another hole has been opened by the death of Hugh Bay. Hugh was my uncle. As far as I know, he had no enemies at all. He was a friend to everyone he met. He labored for years in the Fresno school system, taking on the bad guys as well as the good. All of them respected him, most loved him. In college he and one other guy were the Oklahoma A&M track team and they won national acclaim. He could run faster backwards than I could forward. An excellent instructor, he was cited for his continuous work with young people. At one point, he took up the ministry of God until a stroke robbed him of the ability to carry it onward. He never gave up his faith. He was unwaivering in his devotion to God and to his wife, my Aunt Ione, who preceeded him in death. I never talked to Uncle Hugh when he wasn't affable and interested. He had a way of making you feel at ease in any circumstance. It is impossible to use terms like, 'guys like him,' because there are no guys like him. In my estimation, he was head and shoulders above the flock and he will be sorely missed.

Right and Wrong

Okay gang. Let's review general stuff.

I was Wrong about:

1. I have always abhorred pickles but now find them at least edible although I won't buy them in the store or order them in the restaurant.

2. I was sure we would have that wretched piece of smelly dog poop, Bin Laden, hanged by now. Why can't we find him?

3. The Dallas Cowboys,my least favorite pro team, has turned out to be better than I thought.

4. Notre Dame, my least favorite college team, has turned out to be worse than I thought.

I was Right about:

1. Garlic is still a noxious, toxic weed that should be eradicated.

2. Anchovies have nothing to offer. They don't even make good bait. People who eat them probably eat cockroaches.

3. "Al dente" means "not cooked". If I want crispy veggies or pasta, I won't bother turning on the stove. If I do turn it on, I expect to cook the food, not leave it in a half raw state.


While I'm whining about things that displease me, I shall point out the following:

1. Most of the democrats in our government are working like little beavers to overthrow our way of life. The longer I live, the more it sucks. Thank God I'll be dead soon.

2. Why can't we see nipples on TV? I've seen nipples all my life. I didn't close my eyes when mama nursed me...or my brother...or my sisters. A large part of my youth was spent looking down loose blouses in search of the elusive nipple. It is entirely annoying to be dictated to by a herd of blue nosed prudes. Besides, I like nipples. Even the ugly ones are pretty. They taste good too.

3. I hope you guys realize that OJ is back. Media overkill has once again shifted into high. Our stupid government has indicted Barry Bonds. What happens if they spend tens of millions of dollars and can't convict him? It looks like it's gonna be twenty four seven, Bonds vs OJ. I'm glad my remote has an off button.

4. How long are we going to allow the Arabs to hold our feet to the fire. They are trying to kill us and not just economically. We need to take over their countries. If they resist, nuke 'em. When whole cities start disappearing, the cowardly, yellow dog terrorists will go back to their normal pursuits like milking goats and making love to camels.

5. As far as asterisks go, we should eliminate them. What kind of idiot buys an historic baseball and then brands it with an asterisk?

6. Hyphens: I have never thought of myself as an English-Scotch-German-American. There is no such thing as an African-American. If I were black, I would be insulted by the inference that I was somehow different from the rest of my countrymen. Spanish-Americans? Please!! You are either Spanish or Mexican or American. It's just another way the dumb ass liberals have to seperate us and keep us from being truly integrated.
Hyphenated last names have no place in our society. If you thought enough of the dude to marry him, you should be willing to take his name. After all, you'll be taking his wallet, his house, his car and his freedom.

The weather here still sucks. Another 'F' for Delano.

Notre Dame just keeps losing and I just keep laughing. Do I feel just a little sorry for the Irish? NO WAY. I am surprised, however, that the sports experts don't have them rated in the top twenty. What is it about being #2 that causes good teams to crumble? This is the most confusing year in college football history.

My language studies are still limping along. Maybe I'm not meant to be a polyglot.

My career as a writer is still zooming right along. I wish I could sell something.

Dakara

Women and sex!!

You can't honestly believe I'm going to write about women and sex. The longer I live, the less I know about either. At one point, I thought I had the 'sex' part solved, but I've never been stupid enough to pretend I know anything about women. To me, they have always been mysterious creatures who flit in and out of our lives, making us buy houses and perfume. It is likely that they keep us around to supply them with babies. I don't think they have any real use for us aside from stud service. I know they are soft and sweet and usually smell good. They can make us (me anyway) do things we never would have thought of on our own. If our needs are in conflict with their needs, and they almost always are, we are ready to accommodate them regardless of the circumstances. It is entirely exasperating being a male and having to deal with these strange creatures, but I guess we're stuck with it, guys. It's symbiotic. We're screwed.

Except for Dallas winning, I am enjoying immensely this football season. My wildest wishes for Notre Dame are coming true. The only thing the 'fighting Irish' are fighting for is air. Oh, look, they're turning blue! hahahaha. How long will Boston College stay atop the BCS rankings? It almost looks like nobody will be unbeaten at the end of the year. How ironic!! The BCS could turn out to be almost the same at the end of the season as it was at the beginning.

So Southern California is on fire......again. What's the big deal? This happens every year to one degree or another. What's next? Now that the vegetation is burned off, the annual flood storms and mudslides will turn mansions into forty mile an hour racing huts. Will the denizens learn from this experience? NO!! As soon as their mud hills are scraped level, they'll build again in anticipation of the next fire/mudslide spectacle.

Need I say that the weather here sucks? I know, it's an annual event, but it still pisses me off. I wish I was in Balibago again! At least when it rained there, it was warm enough and dense enough to shower in. Monsoon! I loved it. Why don't I go back? I guess I'm just too stupid. The weather here scores another "F".

Just because I haven't mentioned the Muslims, don't even believe I have forgotten them. We desperately need to gather all their little terrorist asses up and get them out of the country. Have you ever wondered what motivates the courts and the politicians to give our country away? I think about that every day. I am absolutely, one hundred per cent, dead ass certain that I'll wind up fighting for my life against them. Our founding fathers must be spinning in their graves. Our government is failing us on all fronts and has since we started listening to the dumb ass liberals. Christ, what a mess!

Another useless, money-sucking holiday is upon us. Halloween. What the hell is it? Why do we have to hand out bags of goodies to undeserving little ankle biters? This year, as always, there will be an assortment of teenagers scattered among the children. Are they really that immature? Yup, they are!

Next month one of the only holidays worthy of note arrives. Thanksgiving!! A godsend for us fat people. It is the only time of the year I can stuff myself to sickness and everyone thinks it's alright. Christmas and New Years are OK, but overdone. The original meaning of Christmas is being lost in sectarian bullshit. Say 'thank you' to our courts!

Don't forget to write to me if you want to sample my humble offerings on literotica. (Yes, that was a commercial, so what?)

Y'all have fun now, heah?

It's cryin' time again!

I wept bitter tears as I watched the thermometer plummeted downward from a toasty 95 to a miserable 65. Once again we are plunging into the horrible, cold, wet abyss that is winter. Will I bemoan this condition until the ides of March? You know I will. Delano gets a big, fat "F" for weather this month.

The Seahawks got beat again, casting a darker shadow on the onset of winter. At least my Okies are back on the winning track. It is hard to believe the unusual twists and turns that college football has taken this year. If I were a betting man, I would be living in a cardboard box. All the preseason top ten picks have fallen. The only good part is that the arrogant sports "experts" have had to eat road apples. It is loads of fun watching them blame a thousand different factors on these events when they don't really have a clue.

Recently received e-mails have confirmed my belief that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim. If one of those bastards has been born here, educated here and has a good job here, how in the hell are we supposed to stop him? Our gun shops have some pretty good solutions to this problem. Maybe we should all order some firearms before the idiot politicians make it illegal to defend ourselves. We might want to polish off a few illegal aliens while we're at it. Of course, with our limp-wristed, dumb ass delegates, especially the ones here in Californicate, we don't stand much of a chance. Feinstein and Boxer, the worst senatorial pair since Schummer and Clinton, seem to be doing their level best to aid the enemies of this country. Very seldom do I hear of a good decision coming from either of these two utterly worthless politicos. Our judiciary seems to have abandoned us in favor of unconstitutional stupidity. The taxpayers are forced to support the invaders of our country. I am glad that I will croak soon. I don't want to witness the coming debacle.

See what lousy weather does to me? I sends me into a grand funk. I've got to change the subject quick, before I go jump onto the freeway.

At least my literary endeavors are gaining readership. I get a few disparaging remarks, but for the most part, reviews are good. I now have close to forty stories and poems (yes, poems) published on literotica. Writing seems to have a soothing effect on me. The strange thing is, when I start to write a story, I seldom know where it is going. After the initial nudge, it seems to take on a life of its own. I find myself wanting to write something just to see how it turns out. I also find that the more I write, the less porn I read. Maybe I'm just drifting away into old age with no idea about where I am or where I'm going. Probably, I'm weirder than I think.

Well, it's twelve thirty. Time for me to listen to Trish Trang and Koda Kumi. Hiding in music is an obsession. It is so pleasant to just shut off my mind and let some sweet little songstress take me away.

And so it goes.

Plop!

So, there I was, watching Notre Dame getting their asses kicked once again. I laughed and laughed. Then I heard a small, wet 'plop.' Looking behind me, I discovered that I had, in fact, laughed my ass off! I will continue to laugh and they will continue to lose unless they schedule a small town high school team. I must be honest. I almost shed a tear when my beloved Okies lost to Colorado. How does a team that is averaging 62 points a game score only 24 against a raggedy bunch of buffaloes? It seems that every year some misfortune befouls them on their way to the top. Will they lose again this year? It ain't likely. My favorite pro teams are not faring very well. It looks like a long season, but at least, it's football. I must admit that I was heartened by the women's soccer coach's decision to kick the best woman goalie in the world off the team for telling the truth. He did make an unbelievably stupid decision when he didn't play her in the semi-finals. I suspect that she'll be back next year and he won't. The good thing is that the idiot set women's sports back about five years. HAHAHAHAHA!

The weather here has turned foul. Once again, winter has reared its ugly head and destroyed summer. Every year at this time, I vow that I will sell out and move to the Philippines and every year, that turns out to be a big lie. Anyway, Delano gets a big, fat F in weather. I suspect it won't rise above the wretched rating until spring. BOOOOO. HISSSSS.

Another lie I told myself was that I would make it to Washington State to see my relatives this summer. At least this year, I only lied to me.

The more I read, the more I believe that the only way to squash the militant moslims is to nuke 'em. The world would eventually thank us. They are extremely fortunate that no one in power here has the balls to pull the trigger. Turning the middle east into a glass pool would be a deeply satisfying experience. POOF! No more problems.

The democrats are once again proving their abject stupidity by running a moslim and Hillary. Don't they have anyone else? I hope that none of you guys are planning to vote democrat. I don't want to admit that I know anyone that stupid. If you don't want to vote Republican, vote for one of the nut groups, but please, not those two.

Last and probably least, my erotics continues to burgeon and grow. I get lots of positive feedback on my stories. Some of them aren't even erotic.

That's it from the blizzard.

Not Again!

Well, Simpson has come thundering back to the fore. He's like Freddy, he won't go away. Maybe this time they'll stick his crooked ass in the slammer. That's the only way to get the talking heads to talk about sports.

Why hasn't the big tough American eagle eaten that obnoxious little insurance lizard? It would be so fine to see his bloody little tail disappear down the gullet of our national bird.

The two words that cause almost everyone in the country to change channels are 'women's soccer'. It has taken over the spot that used to be owned by 'women's basketball'. Does anybody seriously watch that pap? Not without an estrogen injection. I would rather watch hockey and you already know how I feel about that.

I've got the solution for drugs in sports. Make everybody take 'em. If every one's cheating then it's all equal, right?

The weather here has turned sour. Delano gets a big 'D' for weather this week.

On the brighter side, Notre Dame has had their butts kicked hard for three straight games. Some have speculated that they will win el zippo this year. I've waited so long for this!

Are you aware that our dumb ass senate is trying to attach an amnesty rider to the defense bill? Write your senators and tell them what a gang of thieves and assholes they are. Of course that won't be news to them or anyone else. The nation is starting to realize what a gang of morons are running this country.

My little girl is starting to yank my chain in an attempt to move me along.

So I bid you farewell. Oh, did I mention I'm going to try writing novels for Harlequin? I sure hope they sell. The rest of my junk is free.

Dakara

Don't know why

Don't know why pharmacies take so long to dole out a few pills. I guess they're being careful, but damn! You can be the only one in the place and they'll still tell you to wait twenty minutes. The only place slower than that is the DMV.

Don't know why the talking sports heads are still trying to sell us soccer. I guess they're just too stupid to get the message.

Don't know why these same morons continuously babble about drugs in sports. Are they trying to convict someone by overkilling them on TV? I would like to see Barry Bonds sue the dog shit out of all the sports networks and take even more money into retirement.

Don't know why the Americans can't seem to produce tennis champs on a regular basis. I seldom watch tennis anymore because if Federer is present, he's the winner. It's boring.

Don't know why summer doesn't last longer. Just as I start getting used to the nice warm weather, fall crushes us followed by the horrors of winter. The only bright spot in this whole season is football.

Don't know why the sportscasters acted like it was illegal when Michigan got beat. Was I the only one laughing?

Well, that's about all I don't know right now. I'm sure there must be more, but I couldn't even guess what it would be.

I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know that my life as an erotica writer is really taking off. I am submitting new stuff to the publisher three or four times a week and it is being accepted. This is so much fun! I've been kicking myself in the ass for not starting much sooner. I have found that I cannot only invent characters, I can make them do whatever I want. Like slaves. Yeah! I like that a lot. To think this whole thing started because I was bitching about what a bunch of uneducated morons were doing the writing. They are still producing literary disasters. Not me!
Drop me a line and I'll send you a link and some instructions. If you should read these stories, let me know what you think.

Our nice, hot weather is slowly deserting us. It is still staying around the mid nineties, but it droops a little every day. If I win the lottery, I can chase the sun to the southern hemisphere in the winter. Until then, I'm just gonna be stuck with four or five months of cruddy temperatures. Delano still gets an "A" but the D and F days aren't very far away.

On that cheery note, I'll conclude today's whining seesion. Summer YEA! Winter BOO.....

M.V. so what?

I am so damn sick of hearing the adventures of Mike Vick. The way the media treats it, you would think he is a serial murderer. Now, I don't agree with fighting dogs. Chickens, yes. Dogs, no. What I am pissed off about is the medias complete and total overkill on a story that should have taken less than 15 minutes to report. A brief diatribe explaining that he was fighting dogs followed a few months later by announcing his sentencing. 24 hour coverage of this event is not needed. The involvement of the pet terrorist group, PETA, was totally unnecessary. I suppose that the media will continue to over kill every story that churns along. Come on guys!! Give it a rest.

As I threatened, I have written and published some erotic literature. My first offerings have scored 12,000 readers in three days. At least one of my sisters thinks I'm writing perverted, dirty slop. She can think whatever she wants. This is, after all a partially free country. I am disappointed, however that my detractors didn't bother to read these stories before passing judgement. If you want to read these terrible, seductive bits of literary tripe, send me an e-mail and I'll be happy to let you know how to find them. Be careful, though, this stuff can be addictive.

Ah, yes, football is back. After several months of sports draught, we have real entertainment again. Have you noticed the way the media keeps trying to shove soccer down our throats? If you enamored of soccer, move to Europe. 98% of the sporting public think that soccer sucks. Given the choice between watching soccer and watching cosmetic commercials, I would go for the lipstick. Soccer sucks.

My fishing buddy back east has said he is 'killing' the striped bass. I sure wish I was there. In fact, I wish I was anywhere where water exists in the streams and fish reside in the water. Such is not the case here. Dry creeks. No fish. An idiotic game department that poisons out the only fishing holes for miles around and then suggests that you drive 60 miles to the nearest rocky, worthless reservoir.

The weather here continues to be good. Daytime temperatures are in the high 90s. No clouds. No wind. Perfect. Delano gets an "A".

I can't think of much else to bitch about. Send your e-mails and I'll send you directions.

dakara

Roadblocks

Why do RV drivers think it is their solemn duty to stay in the middle lane forever, blocking traffic for miles behind them? Why do truckers just flip on their signal lights and barge on out there, regardless? There doesn't seem to be too much that can be done about it. Here in California, they even tried shooting them several years ago and it didn't change a damned thing. I can't wait until they won't let me drive any more. It is hard to put up with the intense stupidity demonstrated by much of the traveling public. If I could, I'd quit driving right now. C'mon, LOTTO!!

My last blog entry included a diatribe concerning the ineptitude of porn writers. That, at least, is something I can do something about. Yes, your humble slave(me) has decided to write and attempt to publish a few naughty little stories. I have not yet done it, but I'm sure I'll get it done soon. On the other hand, you know that I am one of the great procrastinators of this decade. (witness the lateness of this blog). I'll let you know if I'm successsful and where to read the evil tome.

I still have not heard from my buddy in the east. Either he isn't fishing anymore(unlikely) or his daughters have killed and eaten him.(maybe) On the brighter side of fish stuff, some friends in Kodiak sent me almost 10 lbs. of smoked salmon. Since it was smoked by full-blooded Alsakan Indians who are professionals, you just know it is outstanding. It doesn't even remotely resemble the slop that you buy at the deli for 15 bucks a pound. This stuff is hard, salty and so good it will turn even an old reprobate like me into a saint.(almost)

We're still trying to sell this house. I suspect it'll go quickly when word gets out about the major natural gas deposit that has been discovered right underneath us. Most of the residents of this ugly little village are blissfully unaware of this windfall. They will remain ignorant of the boom potential because most of them do not read, write or speak much English. They can, however, tell you where Tiajuana is.

I think my Las Vegas real estate agent has given up. We just recieve his newsletter once a month now. I must admit he stayed with it a lot longer than I would have.

I am starting to believe I want a new Corvette. My Cadillac is doing a superb job of hauling my fat ass around. It is just that I've always wanted a car that'll do 200 miles per hour. Maybe it will compensate for the drop in velocity of my sex life.

I still don't watch media news coverage. I am very happy with this. Most of my friends who still watch it are in a constant state of agitation. They accuse me of not giving a damn. They are right. I don't give a damn. Aside from scratching off a memo to our two totally worthless senators, I don't participate. It isn't that I don't care. I just don't see how trying to change the minds of two ultra-liberal witches will accomplish anything. A really good friend of mine back east (not the fisherman) always tries to get me interested in the goings on of my old agency, or the feds or anything political. I don't bite on that because I ran my head against the government wall for decades and all I got was a small retirement and an everlasting headache.

The weather in Delano gets an "A+". It has been hot (well over 90) for a couple of months. It feels so good!!

At last!!! Football season is upon us!! Pre-season games start this week. For a while, I thought I wouldn't make it, but here it is. And, the beauty of it is, it's not over until next year!! Months of football. On the baseball scene, Barry Bonds, as of this writing, has not tied Hank A's home run record. I hope he does it this week and then all the limp-wristed whiners can go pout in a corner and leave the real sporting public alone. Once again, the champion crybabies of baseball, the New York fans, are sobbing about A Rod not reaching 500 homers yet. Remember earlier this year when they were crying about him in a hitting slump? As I have said before, New York does not deserve a good team of any kind. The fans spend a major portion of their time whimpering in a corner. Pussies!!!

Well, that about does it for now. If the idiot left wingers don't kill me, I'll write again, sooner I hope. And so it goes.

Porn

Yes, it is true that I have procrastinated, blog-wise. I can now reveal that I have been busy with porn. You know, the kind that you read as opposed to short video clips. After carefully perusing these sites, I find they all have one thing in common. The writers are illiterate! They can't spell. Their use of the English language is atrocious. But, I suppose that this is a direct result of our failing school system. Sometimes it is so bad that I have to give up on finishing. BOO,HISSSS. Of course, I won't stop. Some of them show real inovation. They are mostly a pain in the ass. (get it?) Three of my TV sets are now shot, forcing me to visit porn sites on my computer. Some excuse, eh?

So here we are in the middle of another Wimbldon. As I write this, there is only one American left in men's singles. How is it the a massive country like this one can't seem to whip dinky little countries? Well, it is what it is.

I have not heard from my fishing partner in North Carolina for a while. Maybe his 8 (yes that's 8) daughters finally ganged up on him and roasted him.

The weather here continues to be warm and pleasant with daytime temps in the mid nineties. Of course my new airconditioner has gone tits up. I don't care but my wife and her pals are sweating. It is really difficult to get a filippino to sweat.

Our new congress has gone berserk, as we knew it would. God, I hate the liberals. I can't seem to find a single, solitary democrat who is not actively trying to sink our country. It is so depressing.

Well, I am about drained. I guess I'll go back to porn now. Remember, whip a leftist for Jesus!

And so it goes.

Poked again

For those of you who haven't heard my thoroughly boring tale of recent cuttings, here it is: They cut, they got it, I bled, it's over. The end.

Now for my annual (more or less) list of pet peeves.
1. Garlic is a foul smelling, bad tasting weed that should be banned, worldwide.
2. Anchovies are nasty little creatures that don't even make good bait and certainly
don't belong in the culinary world.
3. The proof is NOT in the pudding. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Get it right!!
4. The NBA has no business playing in May. Basketball season should end in February.
5. College football needs a playoff system. A herd of jerk-water analysts has no business selecting a national champion.
6. The national news media is so bad, I've stopped watching the TV news. They are nothing but a collections of left-wing communist liars. Most are even treasonist.
7. ALL moslems are out to kill us. Weed them out.
8. Deport ALL illegal aliens. There is no such thing as an "undocumented immigrant". They are all criminals.
9. "Al dente" doesn't mean 'to the tooth" Al dente means "not cooked".
Whew!!! That was fun. Now onward.

Fishing season has once again found me without a license and in too bad a shape to get to the fishin' hole. Old age sucks. "Golden years", my ass! My partner in North Carolina is killing the stripped bass. I get regular reports from him. He uses small bluegills for bait and they gobble them right up. I wish I were there. As the years march on it is becomming more and more apparent that I won't be hunting again unless something wonderful happens. I guess when I move to Nevada, I'll give my hunting equipment to my grandsons.

The weather here is outstanding. No clouds, hot, little wind. Delano's weather report is: "GREAT"!!

In two weeks, my oldest grandson graduates high school. It is hard to believe that I have grandchildren that old. Norma and I will be traveling to Las Vegas to attend the ceremony. I'm not looking forward to the trip across the desert, but it will be good to see my daughter and her progeny again.

I have been thinking about writing a book on my life experiences. But, probably nobody would believe all that stuff. I just barely believe it myself! Boy, I'm sure glad I got all those things done before I got old and worn out. I have no regrets. I enjoyed all of it.

And so it goes.

It's Over!!

Yea, the cold weather has finally left the wretched valley. As I type this it is 90 degrees outside. Ah, relief at last. The only thing wrong with it is that I don't get to bitch about the weather until October or November. Oh well, I'll make that sacrifice. Temperatures nearing 100 are forecast for next week. Hooray!!

As I predicted last year, A Rod has come out of his slump and is tearing up the league.(good) And, the yankees are in last place!! Does it get any better? I think not. What are al those sniveling New York sissies going to say about their traitorous actions of last year? Well, they won't say anything. They probably don't even have the balls to admit they were wrong. Such is New York. My boy, Barry Bonds continues his headlong rush into history.When he breaks the record, what will all those idiots who have convicted him without a trial say?
My favorite basketball teams are all getting their asses waxed. Who'da thunk it? I thought that Shaq and the boys would do it again, but now I'm not so sure.

We continue to creep along the road to Las Vegas with all the alacrity of a snail with polio. I can't wait to get there. I had thought I could spend my next birthday (#95) there, but it doesn't look like we'll make it. I do have plan "b". If it works, I'll let you know. If it doesn't, mums the word.

As I grow older, it becomes more and more apparent that the 'golden' years suck. I'm really glad I did all that really fun stuff while I was young. If I did any of it now, I'd be dead in two days. I have a really fun day scheduled for May 16. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Good news!! Tomorrow I win the lottery!! 35M. I will then disappear from the normal life and shift directly into 'rich idiot.' It'll be great I am already getting ready to order some new cars (yea cars),a boat and large, snooty house. Upgrades all around!! Oh the joy!! uuhh, excuse me I got a little carried away there. It doesn't take much to amuse me these days.

And so it goes.

extortion

Yes, folks, once again it is national extortion day. This is the day when our wonderful government admits that they just can't function without robbing the citizens. TAX TIME!!! What happened to the fair tax movements? Well, the government just sat back and did nothing(as usual) and it just died out (as usual). And, if you think you were being mugged last year, wait until Pelosi and her gang of communists get done raping our wallets this year. All we need then is a dumocrap president and we can all get our cardboard boxes and go live on the street. Speaking of Pelosi, is there any reason she should not be in jail for breaking federal laws governing who sets foreign policy for this country? I guess if Hanoi Jane can get away with it, Pelosi the communist can too.

Tiger got beat by an unknown in a major!!! His play was absolutely abominable (for him) so he only finished second! How can he go on? Of course, all the bubble headed sportscasters have castigated him, declaring him finished. Beeeeg mistake!! He will win at least two majors this year, possibly three.
My buddy in N.C. continues to slay the striped bass. He is one of those,'give a damn what the weather is' types, so rain and cold don't seem to bother him much. I guess he is successful because he is willing to brave the elements.

Once again the weather here has turned sour. daytime temps in the mid to high 60s. BOOOO I thought that spring was upon us, but this more closely resembles winter. It is raining. The wind is blowing. Once again, Delano flunks the weather test.

My wife has volunteered to stay in this wretched little sink-hole and clean up the house so we can sell it. I have volunteered to go to Las Vegas and pout. HAH! I am continuously amazed at the rising price of real estate. Wow!

I've been blabbing long enough. Time for breakfast. Ham and cheese omelet. MMM MMM
And so it goes.

The Tiger and the Twerps

OK, let's stop pretending that anyone is going to mount a serious challenge to the magnificence of Tiger Woods. Several of the lick-spittles have tried and all have fallen short. The thing that is most scary about Tiger is that even when he's not playing very well(for him) he's still head and shoulders above the pack. I believe that he is capable of winning every tournament he's in and will win most of them. He is the only reason I watch golf on TV. Those of you who are golfers know how difficult it is to perform the way he does, and yet he makes it seem easy.

On a sad note, I have not won the lottery yet. It pisses me off to see undeserving morons march of with my millions week after week. Oh well, I'm stupid enough to keep trying. After all, if you don't enter, your chances of winning are zero.

We are getting closer to selling this house. One day, my blog will read "Viva Las Vegas". You will know then that I have escaped the communist state of kalifornia. I am hopeful that there will be some hunting opportunities for geezers in Nevada. I know the fishing in Lake Mead is good. Maybe I'll buy another house boat. I need to teach my grandchildren to shoot before I get too feeble.

Only four more months until preseason football starts. I can't wait. I'm tired of tennis. I don't like hockey or soccer. I'm still mad at baseball. It is damned hard being a curmudgeon.

I wonder if the Las Vegas give comps to geezers. I'll have to check that out. Vegas is just south of Area 51. Maybe I can finagle a ride on a flying saucer. YEEEEHAAAWW!!! I do have major navigation problems in Vegas. Probably comes from living in a dinky town for 20 years. I'm getting too old to drive anyway. My grandkids can haul my fat ass around.

The weather is getting alittle better here. It was 83 today. Tolerable. Delano gets a "C" for weather this time.

I guess that there is no more to heap praise or scorn upon. An altogether so-so blog. So it goes.

Californication

There is a minor indication that we may have an offer on this house. That would mean we could move to Las Vegas much sooner than I thought possible. My wifey has started getting offers on assorted items (pool table, furniture, etc.) so maybe she's actually serious this time. Finding a house in our price range in Vegas should be no problem. My real estate spy, Clay, sends me e-mail on a daily basis with housing information. When I have the money clutched in my hot little hands, I'll sail over the mountain and be Californicated no more. Oh blessed day. Oh glorious relief!! Oh, hell, it ain't happened yet. I'll celebrate in sin city.

The other day I sent an e-mail around showing some rapist getting his pee-pee whacked off. A friend of mine wrote me and said he thought that this was the correct punishment for the crime of rape. I thought about that for 3 minutes or so and decided that my friend was right. That way, you don't have to feed some asshole in prison and he can't do it again 'cause he ain't got no pole left. At last, the Moslems got something right.

At last, we have turned on the airconditioner. Months and months of frigid weather appears to be over. The skies are blue again and temps are reaching toward 90. Oh, yesssss.

Our last group of house guests have gone. She left the day after I filed her divorce papers. I don't know whether she went back to the idiot or not. She told me she was going to San Jose, but she left a forwarding address in Palm Springs. Oh well.

I am really looking forward to moving to Las Vegas. It has much to offer. A big lake full of fish. More casinos than anywhere on earth. A great race track. Excellent colleges. But its main selling point is, it ain't in California. If you get the idea that I'm happy, happy about leaving this wretched state, you are 100% right!!

Great days appear to lie ahead. Being the eternal pessimist, I can see several things that could go awry. Maybe, for once, fortune will smile upon me.

And so it goes.

Look!! Its a light!!!

At last, the big red ball has returned to our skies. With daytime temps running into the high 70s, and with the rest of the nation on snow alert, it woould be uncouth of me to suggest that this weather is less than OK. Of course, the temp still plummets down to 45 or so at night, but since I don't go out at night, I don't have to see it. I guess the Delano weather report is, "ho-hum".

My little girl, Robie is freezing her butt off up in Kodiak, Alaska. I called her last night and it was 13 degrees. But, on the brighter side, they say it will warm up to 20 today. hahahaha I told her so.

Another small light in the darkness is that a federal judge has finally sobered up and struck down the total gun ban in Washington, D.C. At least one of those communist dorks can read the second amendment. Most of our national gun laws are almost carbon copies of the laws that were jammed through Germany by the Nazis. Maybe we're starting to get at least a little smart. I'll bet that Schummer and Clinton are crying bitter tears over this victory. Thank you, NRA. Speaking of despicable things, we're not seriously thinking about hillary for president, are we? That would be an even bigger error than electing her husband. Or carter, or johnson. The list of incompetent liberal idiots goes on and on.

March madness is on in NCAA basketball. Somehow, I just can't seem to get excited about it. I don't know why. It just doesn't turn me on. Yes, I'm still whining about football. Can't wait until August.

My buddy in North Carolina has been catching so many spotted weakfish (speckled trout) that he has had to buy another freezer. I wish I could go with him. He just has a ball all the time and he's damn near 70 years old. Drinks heavy. Smokes heavy. He must have come from an excellent gene pool. Am I jealous? Hell yes!!

Oh yeah, it is that time of year when the federal extortionists crawl out from under their rocks and rob everybody. The abolition of the IRS should be everyone's top priority. Let your dead-beat congressmen know how you feel. Try to get those worthless bums to get off their numb butts and do something besides collect and waste your money.

You may be asking if I'm ever happy about anything. The answer is 'yes'. But I'm not going to tell you what it is because then, you would give it to me all the time. That would cheapen the experience and make me unhappy.

And so it goes.

blabbity-blabbity-bleep-bleep

So there I was, babbling away about nothing! I must be getting addicted to this keyboard.

Spring is certainly taking its own sweet time getting started. I'm tired of freezing my ass off. I want 80 or better, and I want it NOW!!! The weather report from the San Joaquin valley is: wretched, miserable, cold.

I am now also hopelessly addicted to Trish Thuy Trang. I can't help it. I've downloaded over 60 of her songs now. They dominate my Limewire space. At least this is a harmless addiction..... I think.....

My daughter has passed on buying my mother's car. She is economically disinclined. After thinking it over, I must agree. If they were in the same town, or even the same state, it would be feasible. I'll bet that car isn't on the market more than a week before it is snapped up by some lucky and probably undeserving dork.

The NFL is in terrible shape. Guys are dying, getting arrested, getting convicted. The rest of us should be glad that these thugs are in the NFL. If turned loose on normal society, it could be chaotic. It is hard to understand how a bunch of lucky s.o.b. s can screw up their lives so completely. It can't be the money. Most of them are millionaires. Maybe they are just rich, rich thugs in semi-captivity. Oh, the injustice!! I'll guarantee, if I had that kind of money, the furtherest thing from my mind would be hanging out with a herd of gangsters. I can think of herds of other things, attired in bikinis, on a warm beach, with beer and shrimp cocktails to hang out with.

As baseball season approaches, once again the media are on Barry Bonds tail. Hey, you dumb asses, hop off. He has escaped. He has outwitted and out lawyered you. Get over it.

Fishing has become a big money sport. We used to do it for fun and to harvest some fillets. Now, good bassboats are going for 40 grand. I guess the good old days are dead, dead, dead. If I get moblie again, I might get another boat, but you can bet it won't cost 40 large, or even 10 large.

My computer has been making strange noises at intermittant intervals. It may be about to give up. I hope it doesn't 'cause I ain't got the bucks for another one that will outperform it. C'mon lottery!!

I have finally run out of wind. Thank God.

And so it goes.

The beat goes on

I can't believe I'm writing another blog entry. I must be infected with some sort of horrible blabber-mouth virus, contracted, no doubt, from some female. Oh well, I guess I may as well press on.

I see that the most wretched woman in the United States is running for the democratic nomination for president. It is hard to believe that the American people would be stupid enough to even remotely consider this miserable bitch for anything in the public realm. However, I remember they elected her husband, the most immoral man to ever live in the White House twice. And, the people of New York, never known for political astuteness, elected her senator along with another real pile of trash, Charlie Schumer. God, I hate politics. I hate politicians. Our judiciary sucks. We are headed for some really tough times. Damn, now I'm depressed.

My daughter is trying to buy my mother's car. It is a hell of a deal. I hope she is successful. It is well past the time when mother should have gotten rid of it. I am happy she has decided to sell it.

The weather here is still cold. Temperatures have been rising into the mid sixties. Spring is coming, but it ain't sprung yet. As I write this, it is 37 degrees outside. booo....Another bad weather rating.

We are plodding on toward our moving date. What is that date, you say? Well, we don't know. We seem to be progressing with all the velocity of a snail on crutches. I am having as hard time trying to motivate dear wifey. This was her idea, one of the few good ones she's ever had. Am I fearful that she'll read this and exact some form of female punishment upon me? NO!! She does not compute.

Speaking of my rib, she has already started her garden. She does this every year as soon as she is confident that there will be no more frost. It seems to work for her. She grows some great garden stuff.

The sun is now attempting to peek over the mountains to the east. That means it'll be warmer soon. I said warmer, not warm. The high today is supposed to be 67. We just can't seem to make it to 70.

Weekends are now sad remnants of what they were just a month ago. Football season is gone. Rats!! Now we must wait until preseason in August. Baseball is coming soon, but it just doesn't have the impact of football. I haven't been much of a baseball fan since the strike that wiped out the world series many years ago.
Tiger still stalks the fairways spreading terror in the ranks of the pretenders. This guy is like superman. Any tournament her enters makes him the automatic favorite. I'm not a golfer, but I'll watch him all day long. He brings an excellence and majesty to the game that is so lacking in other sports.

Well, I've babbled on long enough. Time to worship Trish. Y'all have fun now, heah?

yup, yup

The Colts have prevailed in the annual classic. It was bound to happen one of these years. It's too bad it was against the Bears instead of the Cowboys. I am happy anyime maximum pain is being exacted on Jerry Jones. Does that sound mean and vindictive? GOOD!!! T.O. and Jerry deserve each other. Sadly, football season has now come to an end. I discovered this fact as I franticly searched for Monday night football last week. Alas, it is no more. Now we are faced with a long, long wait until preseason in August. It will be difficult to survive Saturdays and Sundays. boo hoo hoo

We are still in the icey grip of winter with daytime highs of 60 or so and lows of 40. At least all that wretched frost is gone. Time to plant the garden. I know that some of you have had some really miserable weather. Well, hahaha.

Both of my little girls have disappeared from my life. They provided an old man with hours of amusement. They are sorely missed.

Speaking of missing, I can hardly wait to be missing from California. We are looking forward to our trek to Nevada. I hope we can accomplish this soon.

My #1 grandson graduates high school in June. He is all set for his college career. His brother is also really smart, but he is also hell on wheels. I hope he decides on a college education too.

It is a grey day here in the San Joaquin valley. The weather report is, "It sucks."

As I gaze at my calendar, I see vast herds of doctor's appointments in our near future. In the good old days, we didn't see the doctor even once a year. Now, it's three time a week. I have said it before, I'll say it again, "The golden years suck." I have decided that the main reason old people die is that they want to escape the 'golden years'. It ain't gold, it is rust.

We are trying to adopt one of my wife's young nieces from the Philippines. Unless you have tried this manuever, you can't believe the amount of useless paperwork that must be accomplished. Why does it have to be so? Well, one of the main reasons is that we have let the lawyers take over our government. It should be illegal to enter into any government function if you have a law degree. I suppose this is just another sign of the moral decay that is being forced upon us by the liberals. booo

I am now depressed. Rats!

It is time to get breakfast and then listen to more Trish.

And so it goes.

Smarty Pants

I realize that I have not waited my customary month or two. That is because I get to brag, and there is little I like better than bragging. Here goes. My oldest grandson, Blake has just been accepted on scholarship to the University of Nevada. I always knew that one of us would turn out to be smart. I'm glad it was he.

In addition, my grand daughter's birthday is coming up on the 30th of January. Ahh, there, you see, it really does feel better now. Bragging is definitely good for you.

On the down side, my wife is now a heart patient. She has had a stent installed in her. She is one unhappy little female. Of course she blames me for the stent. Never mind the fact that it has probably saved her life.

As I predicted, the furnace repair crew finished up in a couple of days. The outside temperature immediately shot up to 71. The weather gods temporarily forgot that I don't like cold weather. Now, they have regained control of their senses as the temp has dropped to about 50. I hate winter. I wish I could afford to move somewhere where there is no winter. Alas, I'm stuck in this miserable weather for at least 4 months every year.

On the sports scene, Federer has once again crushed everybody in the Australian open. That makes 10 majors. Tiger Woods has now scored his 8th PGA tour win in a row. All I can say is,"WOW"!!!

Well, I gotta go listen to Trish now. So it goes.

ugly

Yes, it's true. The weather here is still ugly. We had a hard freeze which pretty much destroyed the citrus crops. O.J. prices are going up!!!

As I predicted, Pelosi and her band of insane, limp-wristed, wimpy liberals are doing their best to destroy our country. The bitch of the century, Hillary, has declared for the presidential race. God help us if she wins. There is no bigger enemy of the U.S. than Hillary the crook.

The mexicans are getting louder in their bid to tear this country apart. We should send all of them back to mexico. It would be a good idea to allow the army to repel the invasion by whatever means necessary. (shoot 'em)

I would like to thank some of you for expressing your views in my e-mail. It is good to know that someone is reading this stuff, even if they are a little bit out of plumb.

My Seahawks lost in their bid to go back to the super bowl. Damn!! The question now is, can the Colts bust the Bears? It is a daunting task, but Manning may have enough horsepower to do it.

Lucky for us, spring is only weeks away. That handy-dandy furnace I laid out 9k bucks for is out of adjustment, so you freeze your ass off downstairs while it is tropical upstairs. The repair dweebs will be here tomorrow. If things go like they did when it was installed in 105 degree heat and was cooling the house nicely for 6 whole days before the temperature plummeted down to the 50's, they'll fix it and a week later it'll be 90 degrees. I just can't seem to get on top of this home owner crap. Maybe I'll just sell out and move into a Las Vegas hotel for the duration.

I have discovered a new singer. Her name is Trish Thuy Trang. She is Vietnamese, but speaks English better than most Americans. She was raised in Texas. If any of you have Limewire, look her up and download some of her songs. I have some suggestions if you'll e-mail me.

Once again, I am starting to think about a trip northward. Like all other years, this'll probably end in disaster as so many others have.

Well, I've gotta go listen to Trish now. Remember, the fat guy in California loves you, sort of.