Bah, Humbug

And so we come to Christmas. Another year of being mugged by a fat man in a red suit. Ho Ho Hum. I assume, that like everyone else, you guys are spending far too much and will be regretting your largess well into next summer. I know I've already exceeded my Christmas budget by at least 200%. On the other hand, maybe a Christmas budget is merely a figment of our imaginations. It may not exist. Yeah, that's it!! I feel better already.

The weather report from Delano describes horror beyond belief. Night time temperatures are edging down toward freezing. Day time weather isn't much better, with temperatures seldom exceeding 60. I am counting the days until spring and it isn't even officially winter yet. That wretched moment happens on the 22nd. Fog is once again present in the valley. Another bonus. I now am absolutely positive I'm at least 1000 miles too far north.

It is most amusing watching the sports "experts" as they try to sort out who will polish off the Colts. The correct answer is, "Nobody will, if they play their first string the rest of the year." The only team that has a remote chance of beating them is Seattle, and it'll take a bushel of good luck for that to happen.

My wife has decided to present smoked ducks for our Christmas repast. I just love those tender little duckies. Yum. I have also ordered some smoked salmon. It'll be great, if a little non-traditional. Our Filipino friends have somehow found out about these succulent morsels and have invited themselves over for dinner. Oh well, maybe some of them will bring gifts. Does that sound too avaricious? I don't care. It is what it is.

I spend a lot of time these days trying to figure out how to totally destroy the ACLU with going to jail for it. At least those satan loving bastards are starting to lose on a lot of fronts, because the real Americans have been pushed too far. Maybe the miserable assholes will just sort of dissipate. Don't forget to fire your lawyer if he/she is an ACLU member. Let them know why they are being canned, then laugh at them.

If any of you guys are hunters or fishermen, don't forget to take some kids with you on your outdoor adventures. We need to instill in our children some traditional family values. I recently discovered that some little girls like hunting and fishing, so don't forget to ask them, too.

I'll try to post another blog before New Years. It'll give me another chance to whine and bitch about the weather. Or maybe I'll just weep silently. In fact. I'm starting now. boo hoo hoo

blizzard

Yes, it's almost blizzard conditions here in Delano. The temperature has plummeted down to 60. Clouds are besmirching my blue sky. It is miserable. It's colder than a witch's tit. I am freezing my ass off. I promised whining, and this is it. Therefore, I am reporting that the weather here sucks. Boo Hoo Hoo

Sir Peyton of Manning has done it again. The Colts are now 11-0. Watching him work is a hypnotic experience. He seems to be piddling around, changing plays, performing strange rituals and then suddenly, the score shoots way up and it is too late for his hapless victims. Incredible!!

My daughter and grandchildren were here for Thanksgiving. We had a great time. As usual, my wife cooked a magnificent meal. I ate too much. I don't care. My grand daughter is so sweet. So innocent. So beautiful. So evil. You can look into her eyes and tell that the horns will be sprouting any day now. There is no doubt in my military mind that she will break many hearts and laugh about it. Just what my daughter deserves. I love it!

As far as the world situation goes, I believe God should send another flood and get rid of the whole mess. Maybe he could start all over again with something smarter......like dolphins or parakeets. You just know he's not pleased. He already knocked a big chunk off of the Supreme Court building. When are those secular morons going to wise up? Maybe he'll spare most of us and just bump off the truly deserving. Like the ACLU. And the 9th circuit court of appeals. In the good old days, there would have been Christian lynch mobs solving these problems. Unfortunately, the people who should be making a difference are too complacent, too politically correct. The sad fact is that if we don't stop the madness soon, we will all slide off the edge together.

My brother said that one of my nephews shot a big whitetail buck up in eastern Washington. He even sent pictures. It is, indeed, a big buck. Good hunting!!!!

Gasoline prices continue to drop. I guess the big oil companies got a little scare with all the nation-wide boycots and congressional investigations. You didn't know about the boycots? Maybe you should go back into hibernation. The recent oil crisis was obviously manufactured, just like the one in the early 70's. I have always believed that the Arabs are plotting against us. How can you look at all these price increases and doubt it?

Remember, it is not a mid-winter break, it is a Christmas vacation. Anyone who gives you any crap about that fact deserves a punch in the suck.

The longer I drive this Cadillac, the better I like it. It is smooth, powerful, beautiful and fairly economical. I get close to 30 mpg at 75 on the highway. My brother called it a pimp-mobile. He ain't got no culture.

And so it goes.

Stupidity

I always suspected that Californians were among the most stupid people on the planet. The elections of 2005 have confirmed these suspicions. We had a chance to reform government by changing the current gerrymandering scheme to something where the people had a chance at actually electing their representatives. SHOT DOWN!!! We had a chance to rein in government spending by placing limits on an assortment of tax-and-spend measures, SHOT DOWN!!! We had a chance to improve education by changing the tenure rules. SHOT DOWN!!!So the liberals and their vast constituency of illegal aliens have turned California into a socialist state. For those of you who are laughing behind your smug little smiles, let me point out that the California socialistic form of government is spreading to other nearby states and infecting their governments. Almost the entire west coast has been gobbled up by this tax devouring monster. You guys in Oregon and Washington would do well to ask your ex-Californian politicians to leave before it is too late.

You guys out there who send me e-mails about religion and think you are doing "God's" work should be advised that you can't do God's work. God has already done his work. Do your own work. And please, if you have e-mail threatening dire consequences if I don't forward it, or claiming that I don't give a damn about God if I delete it, save it for someone else. Everytime I read one of these things, I get the feeling that I'm being blackmailed. Is that your intent? hmmm


Do any of us in the real world really give a damn about the adventures of Terrell Owens? It was a great day when the Eagles fired that egotistical, greedy, stupid jerk. Now he's gone. We don't need 6 or 8 months more reporting on his current condition. He's out. The NFL is better off without him. Time to move on.

The weather here in Delano continues to deteriorate. Daytime highs are in the high 60's to low 70's. We have constant cloud cover. It sucks. It will be another year of rising equity before I am able to sell this place and move on to greener pastures. Unless I win the lottery. C'mon lottery!!!

Rah Rah Rah

It was a great Saturday of college football. My Okies won and the Irish lost. They not only lost, but they lost in the most gut-wrenching, painful way they could have, on the last play of the game. So, ha ha ha, sis boom bah. Of course they media dorks are saying that they really didn't lose, that it was 'character building', that it was too close to call. Let me help them out. Notre Dumb lost, lost, lost. The media are also predicting no more losses for their beloved Irish. I, on the other hand, am predicting no more wins. Does that sound mean and vindictive? Well it is. So what?

Did anyone notice that hockey is back? I didn't. How can there be any fans left when they wiped out an entire season and gained nothing? It took me 15 years to get over the debacle caused by the greedy baseball players, and I like baseball.

Wow, earthquakes, floods, tidal waves....does any of this sound familiar? If not, please refer to Revelations. You remember Revelations, it's in the back of the Bible.

I am close to getting my boy into high school. He was expelled a year ago up in Alaska for toting an empty BB gun across school grounds on his way to his cousin's house. Have we turned in to such a bunch of pussies that this offence warrants a year's expulsion? Say a word of thanks to the pencil-neck liberals. If they had their complete dream about firearms, they probably would have executed him.

Have any of you given some heavy thought as to what we have to thank the liberals for? Allow me to help you.
If it hadn't been for the liberals, there would be very little or no income tax. We wouldn't have Gestapo-like organizations like the EPA and the IRS to enrich our lives with economic and social terror. There would be reciprocal trade agreements with trading countries instead of a flock of treaties that destroy our labor base and send our manufacturers overseas. Little dick-weed countries would not be accepting our largess while stabbing us in the back. There are dozens of other abominations we can thank the left-wing idiots for. In fact, if you give it a little thought, you can uncover a few of your own.

Summer is deserting us. The temp plummets down below 60 at night and barely reach 85 in the daytime. The weather in Delano if so-so.

Oh well

Z & Z

I guess by now all of you have heard of the letter featuring zawahiri and al zarakawi. What it means is this...even if we cut and run from Iraq, the situation will not get better, it will get worse. Al Quaida's stated intent is to press on until it over runs Israel. Do we care? Well, what do you think their next target would be? Eventually, it will be the U.S. Even the sniveling cowards on the left will have to admit that they were wrong, wrong, wrong and the President was correct. You don't need an IQ of 160 to realize that we must eradicate the the terrorists. The real question is, where do you want to do it? Basra or Chicago? What will the liberal poltroons have to say when we are fighting the terrorists in Miami, Los Angeles and Kansas City? No doubt, they'll come up with a bunch of weasel-worded excuses and pusillanimous whining to try to justify their anti-American policies, but by then, it will be too late. Remember this little missive during the next election in 2008 and don't let the cowards into office.

Much ado is being made over the President's nomination of one of his close associate to the Supreme Court. Did anyone believe that he would appoint some one he didn't know? The far right are crying like babies. The far left are crying like babies. I would therefore conclude that she's just about right for the job. Everyone is whining about her not having any judicial experience. So what? That stogie bunch of dried up lawyers need someone that is not of their ilk to give a little balance to the court. Could it turn out to be a mistake? Sure, but that has happened before with people who were guaranteed to be conservative and turned out to be flaming liberals. The woman has not yet been interviewed by the senate. How the hell can you judge her without a hearing? I detect the rotten smell of media interference.

Is anybody shocked that the oil companies are reporting record profits? What is to be done? Well the suggestion that comes to mind is to reduce demand. How? Tap into an alternative energy source. What source? How the hell would I know? My job is to bitch and moan. I ain't no scientist.

My Okies lost again. This time to Texas. BOOOO. Maybe next year us Sooner fanatics will have something to cheer about. This year appears to be shot. I suspect it won't be long until USC falls from the ranks of the unbeaten. They've come too close too many times.

It is getting colder and colder here. Daytime temperatures barely reach the mid 80s. Winter is upon us. BOOOOO.

My two new kids are working out well. I don't understand what problem brought them to our door, but I do know that providence has smiled upon us. I haven't felt this good in years.

And so it goes.

GOD

Let's review some of the possible causes of the recent cataclismic events happening to our country.
1. We have allowed the ACLU to take over our country.
2. We are allowing our babies to be killed.
3. We allow queers to marry.
4. Any reference to GOD or Christianity is in the process of being removed from all our government institutions.
5. School prayers are no longer allowed.
6. The most wretched court in the land, the ninth circuit court of appeals, has issued several decisions that are absolutely insane.
7. We listened to those tree hugging morons and didn't build any new refineries. We didn't build any new nuclear power plants. We are barred from drilling new wells in Alaska, California and off the east coast.
8. Idiots like Kennedy, Feinstein and Schumer try to hold our Senate hostage on a continuing basis.
I could go on for hours, but I think you get the drift. Our dumb-ass courts have allowed our country to be hijacked by the lunatic left. They have not only pissed off every real American, worse, they seem to have pissed off GOD. Now I am fully aware that weather phenomenon comes and goes. I am aware that some misguided flakes think that destroying our power base is just hunky dory. What I am telling you is, that like Sodom (sodomy leagalized) and Gomorrah, we could be reduced to rubble if we don't try to repair the damage done by the traitorous left.

Death

Yes, it is horribly true. Summer has died. It rained here this morning. BUMMER!!! Rain signals the end of summer and the beginning of fall. I can't believe that it rained here in September. Global warming is a myth. I think that global cooling is a reality. Warmth has drifted astern. WE ARE DOOMED!!! I just changed the water in the pool, too. GAAAAAAAHHHHH.

I am sitting at this keyboard, writing this blog and listening to the Eagles. I am convinced that the Eagles are one of the top 3 bands in the 20th century.

Last weekends pro football was unsatifying. All the wrong teams won. What a mess. And then we have the fights. One before the game and one in the middle of a NASCAR race. The only way to keep these idiots from fighting is to lay some heavy fines and suspensions on them. I think that if you initiate a fight, you should be suspended for a year. That would be a full year, not until the end of the season, but this time next year.

New Orleans has had enough. As I write, another major hurricane is headed in that direction. By the way, have you heard anything about Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, the ACLU or any of the othe other anti-American morons doing anything but bitching about racial discrimination in the rescue effort? Who do they think rescued all those black people during the flood? I'll guarantee you tha it wasn't Jackson, Sharpton or any of the rest of those bigotted assholes. They were a thousand miles from the action, passing solemn gas through their waffle-bottomed chairs and explaining to the media how the very people who were doing the rescue were somehow bad. What a crock!! Even their constituents should be able to see through the lies spread by these windbags.

My two new children are starting to get unruly, so I better shut the blog down.

Ah, the good life!!

Precognition

It has finally happened. I got a blog comment before I even wrote the blog!!! One of my readers suggested that New Orleans should be allowed to sink on its own. While it is true that the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisianna should take a major hit for their incompetent handling of the crisis, I don't think the people of that state or any other state should have to shoulder the burden of disaster by themselves. After all, they are Americans. Most of them are penniless and in great need of federal assistance. The President has taken responsibility for the governments mishandling of the events following the passage of Katrina. He, like Harry Truman, is correct in saying, "The buck stops here". It will be months, maybe even years, until the "Big Easy" is big and easy again. Until then, I believe it is every American's duty to cheerfully help restore one of our major cities.

My Okies lost again. UCLA kicked their asses hard. I could just cry! On the other hand, Notre Dame lost. That is a very good thing because it keeps the idiot sportswriters from proclaiming them to be #1. It looks like another stellar season for USC. I don't see anyone in the division capable of staying with them. In fact, as the season rolls on, they'll probably get stronger.

My buddy, Carl, in North Carolina, has expressed his hope that Ophilia will push enough water back up into Pamlico Sound to start the trout biting again. He was well prepared for the storm. He laid in 1/2 case of whiskey.

The temperature here is steadily declining. Nights are getting down into the 60 degree range. BOOOOO!!! Days are only in the mid to upper 80s. Soon the weather will intensley suck once again. For now, it only gets a "C".

George did it!!!

Once again, the pinko left wing idiots are blaming the President for a natural disaster. Barbara (the check bouncer) Boxer has once again shown that she is truly insane by making competely idiotic statements about the situation in New Orleans. Leave it up to the dumocraps to try to extract political profit from a national disaster. Whose side are these weasels on? Now is the time for the stupid-ass rock stars, dumber-than-rocks actors and other ultra left morons to get off the podium and go to the bank. Withdraw some of their ill gotten gains and donate to the cause. Most of the rich black rockers and actors are using this disaster to play the race card. Who do they think made them rich? Ghetto blacks? Not hardly. The very people they are bitching about brought them their wealth. Oh well, I guess you don't have to be smart to be a star. Of course the miserable yuks on the left side of Congress are as much to blame as the 'stars'. They would rather sit around and whine about supposed weaknesses than actually get off their chubby, well groomed butts and render some help. Hey, there, Teddy boy, why don't you give some of your vast, unearned fortune to the cause instead of blaming the President for the disaster? Teddy's butt should be behind bars right now. How could the people of Massachusettes be stupid enough to keep electing this abomination? Listen up all you liberal dopes!!! Hurricane Katrina is responsible for the New Orleans disaster. George didn't do it!!

The football season is on again!! It's about time!! Unfortunately. My Okies lost on the first weekend. Notre Dame won. Two black marks to start out with. With any luck, the Sooners will triumph for the rest of the season and Notre Dame won't score another point. USC appears to be back in the driver's seat. Is there no one who can beat them? Maybe not.
As I write this, the U.S. Open Tennis championships are under weigh. Andy lost in the first round. Why does he do these strange things? At least the Americans are making a hearty charge this year. Maybe one of them will prevail. Let us hope.

The temperature in Delano continues to plummet toward the 80s. It's not enough to bitch about yet, but it won't be long until I'm whining.

As far as Katrina goes, as usual the media is providing total overkill on the coverage of the events there. It is, indeed, a terrible situation, but do we really need to hear about it 24/7? Has anyone heard anything about Aruba lately? Minimum coverage has been provided over the nominatiojn of a new Supreme Court Chief Justice. Roberts will be on the court long after Katrina is a bitter memory. I personally hope that they rebuild the Big Easy. I believe that they will. Maybe this time, they'll expend the funds to build an adequate levee system.

And so it goes.

Say "MEOW"

So I settled in to watch the first college game of the year. Suddenly, the ESPN 'sportscasters' engaged in a debate on whether the Utah team should change it's name to keep from pissing off the NCAA. They droned on for 1/2 hour or more, finally shutting up at half time. Who cares what the Utah team is calling itself? I don't and I don't want to hear another debate by a herd of media pussies about it. Maybe, they could rename the team after the media dwarfs. They could be the "Utah dickweeds"!!

Fortune has once again smiled on our family. We are the recipients of two more children, ages 14 and 15. The migrated in from Kodiak, Alaska. They were supposed ot be staying with relatives, but through an unlikely sequence of events, they wound up with us. I'm not bitching about it. They are good kids. I'm sure we'll get along well together.

The WNBA season drags on and on. When will it go away? Please, please make it soon. Tonight the pussketball game carried over into the boxing match. BOOOO!

The weather in Delano is good once again. I am grateful.

Respite

So, we took the trip to Morro Bay. My wife and I had a great time. The sea breeze!!! The salt air!!!! Water!! Fish!! We ate at a great restaurant called The Great American Fish Company. The food was terrific. We couldn't finish all of it. Of course, there was a fly in the ointment. Unfortunately, it was all my fault. I selected what is probably the worst hotel in the United States for our evening rest. I have stayed in a vast array of overnight accomodations, world-wide. Tents, nepa huts, grass shacks, the list is endless. I have never, however, stay in a crumbier dump than the "Best Value Inn" in Morro bay. The room cost 200 bucks. It was smaller than my bedroom at home. The "bathroom" was smaller than my closet. The bed was an army surplus number that was lumpy and too hard at the same time. It did occur to me to reteat to my car, which is as big as that room and a lot more comfy. Oh well, live and learn as they say. We're going back to Morro Bay soon, but the "Best Value Inn" will not be on our itenerary.

Does anyone give a rats ass about Terrel Owens and his little tantrum? He signed the original contract, he should have to live with it. Sports stars are becoming famous for "holding out" to renegotiate their contracts. I think the team owners should stop renegotiating completely. T.O. got 16 million in cash on his current contract. He says he "must look after his family". Well boo hoo hoo. For 16 million, I could look out for everybody I ever met. Suck it up and act like a man, T.O. Nobody likes a cry baby.
Preseason football has started. Thank God!!! It is a long dry spell between the super bowl and preseason football.

It rained on me!! Here it is, August in the San Joaquin valley and it rained on me!!! I believe this is the result of global cooling brought about by the environmental nitwits insistence on reducing greenhouse gasses. "Global warming"? What a farce. How do we get talked in to these screwball notions? The Delano weather report? It sucks!!

Speaking of screwball ideas, most of the country has been talked into the concept of "neat garbage"!! About 3 times a week some dinky city employee makes his rounds checking to make sure our garbage is in order. Isn't "neat garbage" the ultimate oxymoron? How is it that the city can pay people to snoop through our trash, but they can't seem to mount a really decent offensive against drug dealers and other low-lifes? YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!!!

I am getting the urge, once again, to sell out here in California and move to the Pacific Northwest. I'll be taking a really serious look at that in another month or so. If I'm going to be wet and cold, it may as well be next to a fishin' hole. The beat goes on.

wasted space

1. Thank God the WNBA season has only 7 or 8 games left. Maybe it'll be replaced by something worthwhile, like bull frog jumping or cow pie hurling.
2. Attention sportscasters!!! Gluttony is not a sport. Does anybody really give a rats ass about how many hotdogs some moron can stuff in his face? I think not.
3. Why have "reality" shows invaded our sports channels? Surely there must be a ball game of some kind, somewhere.
4. Once again, there is a hue and cry for some semblance of order in the boxing industry. I believe it is a waste of time because of under-the-table pay offs and general corruption.

On a lighter note, the football season has started at last with several pre-season games having already been played. I can hardly wait for the full season to start.

My wife and I are headed for the coast this weekend. It will be a welcome break from the tedium of life in Delano. Maybe I'll catch a clam!!

The Natalie case slogs on through the quagmire of Carribean justice. The authorities already know who the main perps are. 2 out of 3 of them are running free.

My opinion is that the borders in Iraq bounded by Iran on the east and Syria on the west would be a great place for nuclear weapons testing. Our southern border with Mexico would be a great place to practice Army manuevers

Now for the Delano weather report: It's great! Every day it is between 95 and 110. At night the temperature plummets down to 75 or so. Perfect!!

The dumocraps are trying to populate our libraries with Spanish language books. Have you ever wondered if the liberals are Americans? Maybe they are collaboraters in a world wide conspiracy to defeat our precious country. I believe in healthy debate on policy, money, etc., but I don't believe in smear campaigns or out and out lying about the things I don't like. Attention liberals!! Stop supporting subversive outfits like the aclu. Stop lying about everything the Bush administration is trying to do. Dump Teddy-the-autoswimmer Kennedy and that moron Howard Dean. Give up on your obstructionist ploys during appointment procedures. You are NOT entitled to priveleged information from the White House.

Are you aware that ALL your financial information is routed through India?

bye

Well, the grandchildren have gone back to Las Vegas. We really enjoyed having them here and wish they could have stayed longer, but one of them had educational commitments that could not be ignored. I am missing them already. The house is as silent as a tomb. It is amazing how much background noise three children can produce.

The aclu, lowest form of life on the planet, is once again attempting to get more people killed by insisting on tapes produced at Abu Graeb be made public. What possible good could this do? NONE!! If they are allowed to show these tapes, even though the information contained therein is already known, the radical Muslims will take that opportinity to incite riots and commit murder. The wretched, miserable aclu should be held criminally accountable for any misdeeds that occur due to their insane lawsuits. The time has come to take down the aclu. They are traitors and cowards and deserve the complete disdain of all real Americans.

More little girls have been kidnapped, raped and killed since my last blog. I am rethinking the castration punishment. It isn't harsh enough. These animals, like all other rabid animals should be destroyed (killed). It should be a really unpleasant and public execution. I have some excellent ideas for this procedure. (more later)

Hockey is back. Whoopee, whoopee, yahoo. Did you miss it? I didn't even know it was gone until after it left. Maybe if they cleaned it up, I could generate some interest in it. Who wants to watch a bunch of overpaid baboons punch each other? Not me. That's what boxing is for.

Damn, it's really quiet here.

et al

Well, almost a month has passed since my last blog. Nothing has changed. Sex offenders are still running loose in our society. The murderers in Aruba are slowly being released. I suspect the main perp will be released within 60 days. His 2 accomplises are free already. By Thanksgiving, none of them will be on Aruba. The Dutch and the Arubans have totally screwed this case up, starting on day one. If I had traveling age children or grand children, there is no way I would send them to Aruba.

It is summer!!! I am totally convinced of it this time. The temp has been in the high 90s or low 100s for about 2 weeks. Pool temp is a balmy 87. Perfect!!

Speaking of sex offenders, how long are we going to allow these rats to roam around free among us? In order to protect our women and children, These guys should have their entire lower business section removed when they are sentenced. They should have a big S.O. tatooed on their forheadss and be made to wear a location collar into their coffins. Does that sound harsh? TOUGH!! These lower than a mo-topper assholes are animals, rabid animals and should be treated with no dignity or respect. Second time offenders should be shot. How many of those cowardly perverts would be willing to rape and kill if these kinds of penalties were enforced? Ask the ACLU. They are the ones who get the monsters released.

My grandchildren have finally arrived. Their grandmother and I are so happy!! The children are so happy. I hope no clouds arise to besmerch an otherwise perfect vacation for them. The only unhappy one is my little doggy. She's not used to kids, so she spends most of her time hiding from them.

Naturally, grandma has been spending like a drunk sailor on Hotel street. Oh well, she only gets one or two chances a year to buy things for them. I hope we're not in the poor house by the time she finishes.

Lance is once again making a run at the tour of france. If he makes it, it will be seven in a row, a feat that will never be surpassed unless superman returns. My boy, Andy Roddick was snuffed once again in the Wimbledon finals. Lucky I don't bet!!
Football season is just around the corner. It is the only bright spot in the dreary winter. I don't watch much baseball. I lost interest when that bunch of multi-million dollar cry babies snuffed out the world series while striking for even more bucks.
Every one who follows boxing is hoping that there will be some sort of federal regulations on it to cut down on criminal activities and instill some integrity to the sport. It would also get rid of this stupid multi-world champion alphbet soup that now exists. Many of us wonder just how many world champs there are.

My buddy in North Carolina is sending us a salt-cured ham. Once you wrap your gums around one of those, you'll throw rocks at that stuff in the funny shaped can.

Whoops!

It wasn't just that the accuser and his family turned out to be a bunch or liars. It wasn't just that the evidence against him had been, in my opinion, illegally obtained and presented. I think the main determining factor in this entire $4million mess was the attitude of Tom Sneddon, the D.A. He turned out to be an arrogant, swaggering, incompetent gas bag with a definite axe to grind with Jackson. People want their public servants to present at least a facade of humility. Remember that Jackson is Not Guilty, as I predicted in a previous blog. We have judged him and found him so. As in the O.J. Simpson case, the talking heads will debate his innocence for years to come. As far as I'm concerned, the debate was over when the jury published their verdict. Do I agree with the verdict? It doesn't matter. I wasn't on the jury. Let it go.

Well, so much for me being a genius electronics tech. My wife fixed our air conditioner by making a couple of simple adjustments on the control panel, thereby saving us several hundred dollars in repair costs. I completely over-complicated the whole debacle, thereby leading to troubleshooting failure. Now, she gets to point and laugh at me while I hang my head in shame. Rats!!

Once again the weather has taken a turn for the better. It was 95 yesterday and will be 95 today. I refuse to proclaim that summer has arrived. The last couple of times I did that we were subjected to an immediate cold spell. Maybe summer is here, maybe not.

The Arubans are still piddling around with the case of the missing high school girl. The only way to get them off the dime is to pass up an Aruban vacation. Pick another island.

The recipe will have to wait. It is 7 AM. Too early to cook.

Stabbed in the Back!!!

So, the infamous Mr. Felt turns out to be deepthroat. Some may hail him as a hero, but if you think about it for a minute, you'll see that he was just a snake in the grass. He betrayed the confidence of his boss, Richard Nixon, and brought him down with the help of a couple of hack reporters. While it is true that Nixon was doing some things that were wrong, he never broke a confidence with his trusted aides and even defended the miserable Mr. Felt! Felt should have handled the situation through the specified channels. Instead, he went crying to the most left wing newspaper in the country and stabbed Nixon squarely in the back. Think of how you would feel if one of your trusted friends blabbed your shared confidences to the media. You may say he's a hero. I say he is just a low-life, blithering, back stabber. Now he has come forward because he is broke. I hope he winds up on the streets and eats cat food.

Going to Aruba? Why? Until the government of Aruba starts indicting people, there is no reason to go there. There is no reason to allow your children to go there. They haven't found a body yet, but saddly, they probably will soon. My solution, as always, is direct and physical. If the government of Aruba doesn't get off the dime and get on with it, we should place the island off-limits to American citizens. A few weeks of eating sand and rocks will bring results. I have no patience with diplomacy or incompetence.

Warm weather has once again returned to Delano. I know that the weather gods are trying to kill me. Hot one minute. Cold the next. Leads to pneumonia in old farts like me.

After several weeks of driving myself further over the borders of sanity, I have finally solved the video problem I was having with AIM. No, I didn't buy another camera. As I suspected all along, there were a couple of software switches in the computer. So you see, sometimes hardheaded obstinence pays off.

Danica Patrick is doing great on the IRL circuit. She is currently #10 over all. This is unheard of in a rookie. You will see her win a race before the season is over. All that skill and a babe to boot!! Don't bother to wrap it, I'll eat it here!

Which brings us to the recipe for the blog. Hot weather demands girlcicles! Here's how:

Find a small to medium size girl.
Get some ice cubes from the freezer.
Rub the cubes on the girl and lick the resultant water off immediately.
If the girl struggles or tries to back down, just wave a credit card at her. ENJOY!!

My sweet little wifey and I are looking forward to summer time. It's going to be great!!!

My Uncle Hugh up in Fresno is undergoing heart surgery tomorrow to repair a faulty valve. Say a little prayer for him, even if you don't pray much.

And so it goes.

KAPLUNK!!!!!

As I predicted a few blogs ago, Howard Dean, you remember the moron who self-destructed on national TV, is now leading the Democrats directly into oblivion. I knew it was a gross error to appoint this clown to head the democratic party and he is living up to all my expectations. He is going to create a major political crisis in this country because under his leadership, the democrats will not only fail miserably in the next election, the whole damned party may be destroyed and sink into the sea of imbicility. The major political crisis comes when the country outside of the Republicans searches for a replacement. It is essential to have opposition in this country's politics. While the democrats have provided years of jovial entertainment, they have recently become obstructionistic in their habits. We need to move on to a higher level of opposition. My favorite is the Libertarians. We'll see. In the meantime, say a litttle prayer for Dean as he stands on the deck of the ship he is sinking.

The Delano weather report: It sucks!! Once again the temperature has plummeted under 70 degrees. Who needs that? In June? In southern Calfornia? BOOOO!!

As usual during weather crises, I am thinking once again about selling out and moving north. Yes, I know it is cooler up there, but at least they have good fishing. If I must suffer through the cold, I should have a fishing rod clutched in my paw.

I'm still having problems with my webcam, proving once again that I'm not as smart as I think I am. My buddy over on the east coast thinks I should buy a new camera. He's probably right, but in addition to abject stupidity, I have a head as hard as a brick. Another week or so of failure should be enough to convince me.

Have you heard about the imminent publication of a book about the wretched Hillary Clinton? I have read a few excerpts from it and my opinion is that it will completely destroy her bid for the Presidency. This will be a good thing. I have suspected she was a crook since her days with slick willy. When all these newly uncovered facts are made public, the sun will set on her parade and if we are lucky, we'll never hear from her again.

And now for the recipe, ice box pizza:
Squash a couple of tubes of biscuit dough into a rough circle.
In your refridgerator, select all the items that have been in there for months.
If it's green, it'll be good whether it's cheese or meat.
Pour half a bottle of catsup on your squashed dough .
Chop 8 jalopena peppers and throw them into the catsup.
Dump all those ymmy items from the refridgerator on top.
Bake at 450 degrees for 20 minutes, ignoring any smoke coming from your oven.
Eat hearty!!! Ciao.

Almost there

The trial of the king of pop is coming to an end. Is he innocent or guilty? Who cares? The only thing that is important is that all the media feeding frenzy will be over. The tv talking heads are all a-twitter about this trial. Now, they are each forming an opinion as to how the trial went, what could have gone better, what could have gone worse and every one of them has an opinion about guilt or innocence. I don't think that this herd of moronic gas bags has one single ounce of sense, altogether. That bunch of bench warming idiots has no say in the matter at all. The only thing that matters is the verdict of the jury.

I finally got off my lazy butt and went swimming. It wore my fat ass out. I haven't worked that hard since last year. The water was perfect except for the frogs. I evicted about 50 of the slimy little creatures. Only after I released them into the flower beds did I realize they would have been great bait! Oh, well. I am sure they will be back. You can't keep a good frog down. If any of you ladies are having bad luck with your room mates, I'll be happy to sell you a frog, suitable for kissing. Your prince may be inside.

If I didn't live in the boundaries of the ninth circuit court of appeals, it would be hard to understand the total incompetence of the Florida courts. The people of Florida should seriously consider throwing all those bums out. Unfortunately, those of us in California are stuck with the ninth circuit court. They are a bunch of communist assholes who are legislating from the bench. How can we handle something like that?

The recipe for today is elepant soup:
Dice one large elepant.
Slice 3 or 4 carrots and an onion.
Cover with gnu stock.
Cook over low heat for 5 days.
If it looks like you may not have enough meat, throw in a rabbit or 2 unless you don't like hare in your soup.

The weather in Delano is perfect. Daytime temps are 85 to 95. The temp plummets down to 75 at night, but that's Ok 'cause that's when I'm sleeping. I have not seen a cloud in many days.

Now that the temperature is up, my air conditioner has broken down, spoiling an otherwise perfect week. I'll get it fixed on Monday.

I was almost a multi-milliomaire tonight, but I missed the lottery numbers by only 4. That means I can't buy the Island I had my eye on in the San Juans. Rats!! And I had to cancel the order for my new yacht. Life is so Unfair!!

You're Fired!!!

Now for a word or two to the United States Senate. What the hell do you clowns think you are doing? You were not hired to go to Washington to further the ambitions of the Democrats. You were not hired to go to Washington to further the ambitions of the Republicans. You were hired to go to Washington to conduct the business of the country. You are not doing that. Instead, you are embroiled in war over the President's appointees. Vote them up or down and then get on with the business of governing the country. Donald Trump would fire all of your asses in a heartbeat. The Democrats need to get over the fact that they lost the election. The Republicans need to get over the fact that they are now in power. The whole damned senate needs to remember what they were hired for. There is less whining and bickering in a kindergarten playground. Stop acting like a truculent bunch of cry babies and do our business!!!

The temperature in Delano tomorrow will be 69. At 2 AM. hahaha. Days are in the mid 90's. It is perfect.

What is all this fuss about Zarqawi? I don't want to hear he is wounded. I want to hear that he died an excruciating, protracted death with lots and lots of pain. There is no reason to feel even a twing of sympathy for this murdering hoodlum. He has said that the killing of Moslem women and children is ok, if it furthers his ambitions. What an immoral asshole! When he dies, he won't get 72 virgins. He'll get a 6'10" goliath named "Bubba" to help him make it through the night.
If we manage to capture the worthless beast, you can bet that the ACLU and Amnesty International will raise hell about lawyers and the Geneva Convention rules. The Iraqis don't like him, so the proper thing to do is turn him over to their tender ministrations. I'm sure they'll treat him tenderly, seeing as how his mad bombers have killed over 600 Iraqi men, women and children just this last month while that cowardly yellowbelly hid out.

Speaking of Amnesty International, were you aware that they are going to try to have our fighting men arrested if they go on R&R in Europe? They have compared the United States to Hitler's Germany. You can help stop them the same way you can help stop the ACLU. Don't give them any money.

The recipe for today is lemonade.

Buy two dozen lemons.
Put them in a large bowl and smash them.
Strain out the liquid.
Add 2 teaspoons of sugar(gotta watch those calories!)
Dump the liquid into a glass full of ice.
Drink hearty!!

Once again I have proven that I am one of the world's great procrastinators. I have not yet gone fishing or swimming. Why? Too lazy!!

Singularity

At the center of society is a black hole much like the black holes found in other galaxies. Our black hole sucks the life out of freedom and prosperity. At the center of our black hole is the singularity and the singularity is the ACLU. Surely you remember the American Communist Lawyer's Union. While it is true that we must worry about the North Koreans, the red Chinese, Iran, Iraq South American smugglers and Mexican criminal illegal aliens, the main threat to our society is the ACLU. Look at the record of this herd of ne'er-do-wells. They have been and still are promoting vicious attacks against the Boy Scouts because the Boy Scouts won't let queers run scout troops. In California, they are in bed with the 9th circuit court of appeals, the most left leaning govenrment organization since the dissolution of the KGB. The threat of an ACLU lawsuit scares the hell out of state and local governments, big and small. They are dead set against the second amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Almost all the problems that we encounter with the criminal justice system can be laid squareley at the doors of this anti-American gang of domestic terrorists. They have disrupted our lives and caused untold hardship for the people of this great land. How do we stop them. Well, if you have a lawyer and he/she supports the ACLU, fire the SOB. Tell him why he's getting the axe. Talk to your friends and see if they will fire their ACLU bound lawyers. The only thing this gang of traitors understands is money. Hit 'em in the wallet and they won't be quite so anxious to support the defiling of America.

It has been a little over two weeks since my last blog and nothing has changed. There are still missing children, heinous murders, bank robberies, rapes and child porn. It all looks pretty hopeless. Our only hope in these hard days is faith in God and Remington. Arm yourself. If the crazies are going to kill you anyway, make 'em pay. Just say a little prayer and shoot the SOB.

I still haven't been fishing. Everytime I get set to go, something pops up and destroys my carefully laid plans. A buddy of mine on the east coast went fishing this last week in the ocean. He said they caught a bunch of striped bass, but none of them measured up to the 40" minimum size limit.

Finally, it is warming up here. Daytime temps are only about 85 so far, but the near future looks promising. The Delano weather report is "good".

The recipes for today is Health-nut salad.

Go out in your yard and cut an assortment of anything that looks green or yellow. Toss it all together in a salad bowl and consume with no dressing.(Can't have any of that fattening, good tasting stuff.)

Baseball season is under way. whoopee, whoopee, yahoo. On the brighter side, each day brings us closer to football season.

What, no killing?

I guess you have all heard the story of the missing bride who got cold feet, fled the scene and wound up in New Mexico. She's got a lot of nerve not being raped and killed like all those other missing girls. Are we miffed, or what? After all that searching, pleading, whining and bitching, she shows up alive and well. What a blow to the media! Every one of the news talking heads got it wrong! Maybe they are not as smart as they think they are.

While the weather continues to warm here in Southern California, most of the rest of the nation is enduring one of the coldest Mays in history. You guys in the east should find a global warming advocate and thank him, personally, for crying wolf. After having studied the weather charts for the last 200,000 years, I have come to the conclusion that the weather fluctuates wildly with or without help from humans. The "global warming" hysteria reminds me of the cancer scares. At one time or another, scientists claimed that everything caused cancer. Most people. like me, are now totally ignoring these geniuses. We should do the same for the global warming nuts. I realize that changes in the weather are not the fault of this nut group, but they have misidentified the causes of warming and cooling trends. They have ruined entire industries based on idiotic conclusions and generally caused prices to rise in several critical fields. If this were Christmas, I would say, "BAH, HUMBUG!!" But since its not, a simple "bite me" will have to suffice.

One of my daughter's clients is going to run a car in the Indy 500. Look for "Sam Schmidt" racing. He also has a website you might want to peruse. Good luck, Sam!!!

My pool was full of little, tiny frogs this morning. Luckily, it is the day for the pool boy to make his appearance. He got to dip them out. I don't have any idea why they picked this week to make their appearance. Just a few more weeks and I'll be swimming.

Now for the Delano weather report: It is clear, sunny and cool. (80 degrees). It's trying hard. Maybe next week.

How much?

The question on the mind of every American today is, "How much more of these rising gasoline prices will we take?" The answer lies in what we are willing to do about it. The usual diplomatic hand wringing and 'studies' is not going to fix it. Since they started raising gas prices dramatically in the early 70's, it has been obvious to most Americans that OPEC is really just a bunch of international thieves. The fuel industry learned a real lesson from the sugar industry. Back in the 60's when a bottle of Coke was $.10, sugar sufferred through a major shortage and the price of sugar and everything with sugar in it skyrocketed. When the shortage was over, sugar prices dropped, but not to pre-shortage levels. The price of all sugar included commodities didn't drop one cent. It still hasn't. OPEC, seeing this, manufactured the oil shortage of the early 70's and the price of gas rocketed upward. When the shortage magically disappeared, gas prices did not drop. The oil companies maintained prices at post shortage levels. Then began 30 years of price increases. Have you noticed that the prices at the pump increase immediately when OPEC cuts production but after they raise production again, pump prices drop a little but never back to the pre-increase levels. Again, how much more of this theft are we going to take? I believe we have taken enough. The time has come for some heavy-handed, direct and drastic action. The United States should attend the next OPEC meeting and announce that fuel prices will drop immediately. If they don't we will take the oil fields away from their tenants and run them ourselves. The current owners are obviously irresponsible and not competent to run such a global enterprise. Am I advocating war? If that's what it takes, so be it. I'll tell you straight up that if the military needs someone to charge the guns, this is one old fat guy who will volunteer in a heartbeat.

Now a word about wishy-washy judges and non prosecuting prosecutors. In recent years many judges have been legislating from the bench. Most of the ones who are guilty of this are left wing liberals with a liberal agenda. Not only do they legislate from the bench, they seem to make horrible errors in judgement as to the disposition of criminals. Lately, too may criminals have appeared before these judges and been turned loose again with a slap on the wrist, a small fine and nonexistent bail. Later, these criminals perpetrate other, more heinous crimes. When the investigation into the circumstances of the early or immediate release reveals that the criminal had stood before the bar of justice in the recent past and was not jailed, the judge invariable explains that he or she is overworked and has too many cases to investigate each one closely. BULLSHIT!!! There is no excuse for turning pedophiles and murderers loose on the unsuspecting public to wreak havoc once again. These judges are paid to exercise GOOD judgement. When one of them turns a criminal loose and the criminal commits another crime, the judge should be jailed if he let the perp out one minute early. Maybe a few months in the slammer with the animals they help create will cause the other judges to mend their ways. Is this too harsh? No way! If your accountant screws up your taxes, he is fired and if he screws up enough, he'll be out of business. Judges are there primarily to protect us from the lowlife animals in our society. For the immediate future, We can recall judges who make bad calls. Or we can vote some of them out of office. We need relief now!

The recipe for today is Rock Soup:
1. Build a fire
2. Pour 2 gallons of water into a large pot and place it over the fire.
3. Drop in 3 or 4 large rocks.
4. Boil the rocks for 23 minutes.
5. Pour into bowls and EAT HEARTY..yum

Now for the Delano weather report: It has cooled off once again, though not quite down to the "sucks" level. It is, however, well below "good".

It goes on and on

Since my last blog less than a week ago, two more little girls have been found raped and murdered. These atrocities can be laid squarely at the dorrs of the ACLU and liberal, activist courts. The hand-wringing over what is to be done has started. You can bet your ass that the ACLU will fight any kind of sentencing reform that is voted on. There are several good solutions that could be implemented. First, ban the ACLU. Throw all of its officers in jail with the animals they have helped create. Second, recall the liberal judges who make truly stupid decisions regarding the handling of these sub-human animals. Third, fire all prosecutors who fail to prosecute. Last, but not least, change the sentencing guidelines. I have included a list of MINIMUM sentences for these animals:
1. For rape and murder, Death within one month of a guilty verdict. No exceptions.
2. For sex crimes against children, a minimum of 20 years without parole, Immediate castration and removal of the offending penis, Required to wear a location collar for life. Mandatory frontal lobotomy. A tatoo on the forehead identifying the animal. Cannot live within 2 miles of where children play, live or go to school. Death for a second offense within one month of a guilty verdict. Gee, does that sound a little harsh? Tough!!! Make these kinds of crimes really distasteful to the animals. I believe that when a man yanks it out in front of children, he automatically gives up all his Constitutional rights. He doesn't deserve them. He is, after all, sub-human. A monster. A low beast. Akin to a rabid dog.

Wow, it was 85 today with more of the same in the near forecast. If it will stay like this for a week, I will venture forth to the old fishin' hole. I didn't go all last year, the first year I've missed since the late sixties. My buddy on the east coast has spent most of the last couple of weeks in Pennsylvania. It is nasty, cold and the wind is blowing in North Carolina, so he hasn't gone fishing yet either.

The recipe for the day is: Charred Steak
Make a fire.
Get a steak.
Throw the steak in the fire.
Let it burn for 30 minutes or so.
Remove it from the fire and try to eat it.

The Delano weather report is: Warming up. Out of the 'it sucks' region, but not quite to the 'good' region.

Assorted nuts

Another criminal maniac has gone off the deep end, killed two people and raped a teenage girl. This is a guy they had in jail and released early. I believe that jail for all these guys is a colossal waste of time and money. When they get one of these nuts, they should just go ahead and shoot the criminal asshole. It really doesn't matter if they are mentally competent or not. The insanity plea should be struck from the books. The only way to cure career criminals is with a 38 caliber pill. It can't be as costly as they claim it is to string one of these morons up. The thing that costs the money is the years and years full of appeals and paying appeals shysters to try to skirt the law and get these animals off with a lighter sentence or a new trial. There should be a brief trial followed by maybe one appeal and then, BANG!!! Murderers and child rapists shoould get the same treatment. Stop dicking around with these monsters. Plant 'em and forget 'em.

At last, after years of ignoring the southern border, the army is being deployed to the area. The Mexican government is displeased, but so what? They couldn't possibly hurt us any more than they already have by encouraging illegal immigration. I think the best solution to the Mexican problem is to attack Mexico, colonize it, declare martial law and totally destroy the immigration problem. It is obvious that the Mexican government has no idea about providing jobs for their people. A few U.S. firms, you know, the ones the hippies hate, could start farming and manufacturing in what is now Mexico. We could arrest all the federalies and politicians, assuming they are all guilty of something. Let the military courts sort 'em out. In a decade or two, we would have a lot better grip on the transient problem. However, as long as the current situation prevails, anyone caught illegally entering the United States should be treated as a federal felon, jailed and prosecuted. Since deporting them seems to do no good, prison camps in the desert seems to be a great solution.

Tiger strikes again!! Yes folks, just as the anti-Woods clowns were trying to proclaim him a thing of the past, El Tigre has risen to capture his fourth green jacket at Augusta. Now that he seems to have his swing back, the rest of the PGA must once again watch it. I predict he'll leave a bright burning trail through the rest of the golf season.

And now, your new recipe isPlanked carp.
Catch a carp
Strap it to a cedar plank and roast over open fire.
Remove from heat
Throw carp away, eat plank.

I am hopeful that it will continue to warm up. We had one day of spring about a week ago. Then, winter set in again. Now it is warming up slowly. If you get a chance to talk to one of those 'global warming' buffoons, punch him in the suck. I had actually turned my funace off, when suddenly, I was freezing my kabip off. Had to turn it back on. boooo. The Delano weather still sucks.

It's still there!!

Yes, lurking in the shadow of the death of the Pope and the Schiavo spectacle, the Michael Jackson case is resurrected. It did not go away as we all hoped. Now the media morons will fill our already over flowing cups with more of the adventures of MJ. Really, we don't need 24/7 coverage of this weirdo case.

In response to reader comments, I am starting my one recipe per blog attraction. Soon, it will become a beloved tradition and I'm sure it will help some of you lesser adept cooks. The first recipe is for southern fried fish:
1. Go to Alabama
2. Get a fish
3. Fry it
4. Eat it
A recipe this simple should be easy for even the most inept cook to follow.

Also, in response to reader comments: Anchovies still suck. Always have, always will. I would rather eat skunk asses fried in kerosene than an anchovy.

It has finally gotten back up to 80 degrees here. It's almost warm enough to go fishing. In another week or two I'll give it a try. I may have to go fish in the ditch out by Alpaugh for white bass. Some have told me that they have made a recovery after having been poisoned out by the idiot fish and game commission. We used to catch them by the buckets full out there. We'll see.

My tomatoes have been planted!! This year, they have a chance of surviving because I didn't even touch them. My sweet little wife planted them. I didn't even supervise. Time will tell.

Now that the winter clouds are fading, we can observe large, very fast objects in the sky headed for the coast. Nellis, Edwards and Area 51 are not very far from here by air. I expect an announcement of some super-plane later this summer. Of course, I could be wrong. I was wrong once before back in 1978 when I thought I was wrong and I wasn't.

screwed again!!

Once again I must apologize. When I wrote the blog on food, I was unaware that I needed a PhD from the Culinary Institute of America to decide what's good and what's not. I was under the mistaken impression that 65 years of tasting various treats from around the world would automatically qualify me to judge assorted foods. I was also unawaare that I didn't have enough expertise to comment on cooking shows. Hell, I like cooking shows. I watch them all the time. Some of the favorite ingredients of the TV chefs leave me with a gag reflex in progress. I guess I'm just unsophisticated. One more thing, if you bring me a pizza with those foul little fish on it, it will immediately become wearing apparel for the provider. Sorry, that's the way it is.

Well, Schiavo croaked and immediately, the Pope's health declined. Now, all those media idiots have to leave Florida and go to Italy. Like the Schiavo case, they will cover this one 24/7 until we have had more than enough. Kind of makes me wonder what the next super duper event will be.

Boy, those people in southeast Asia are really catching hell. First the major tsunami and now a big, big earthquake. That is one of my most favorite areas in the world and now it is mostly destroyed. BOOOO.

Temp in Delano today was 79. No clouds. No wind. Summer is coming!!! At last.

What's cookin'?

Now for a few thousand well chosen words about the culinary arts. First, let me list the things in the food world that we can easily do without:
1. Garlic. This foul weed seems to find its way into everything we cook and everything we order at restaurants. It smells bad. It tastes bad. It makes you smell bad. On the other hand, it is an excellent birth control device.
2. Anchovies. While I really like most fish, the anchovy doesn't really seem to be a fish. It is more like some vermin from the sea. A water-borne cockroach. Anchovies taste like a big scoop of dirt. TV chefs think these wretched little beasts are wonderful. They are wrong. The only use I have ever found for anchovies is as bait.
3. "Al Dente". My ancestors spent numerous generations learning to cook food so it is done. Al dente is not done. It is under cooked. If I want to chew something crunchy, I'll eat an apple. You may COOK my pasta, please.
4. Complex recipes. These recipes are presented to us as something the home cook can easily accomplish. LIES!!! Most of them are multi-ingredient masterpieces that require exotic fruits and/or vegetables and meats that can only be obtained on safari. Some ingredients are not now, never have been, and never will be available to the general public. These recipes describe techniques and equipment found only in 5 star restaurants. Preparations times vary between 5 hours and 5 days. Who has the time?
5. Strange foreign words. Most TV chefs deem it necessary to use phrases and descriptions that are totally foreign to 99% of the American people. We can't tell what the hell they're talking about. I am sure that they could use plain english in their descriptive presentations. Like lawyers, they seem to be unable to speak clearly in understandable english.
6. How many of you guys have 5 ovens, 6 cook tops, a grill, a buit-in deep fryer, a broiler and 50 square feet of counter space. None of you? Gee, I'm shocked. You probably don't have $5000 worth of pots and pans either.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Last time!!!

I promise, this is the last time I will mention the plight of Schiavo. In my last blog, I said that they should just let her croak. Bill O'Reilly had a much better idea. He said that the husband should withdraw his suit, make a public statement that he had done his best to fulfill her wishes, but now was willing to turn guardianship over to her parents. This would solve several problems. First, and most important, it would dry up the media coverage because if there is no controversy, there is no story. Second, it would relieve Mr. Schiavo of the financial burden for her recovery. It would also remove the state's responsibility for her hospital bills. The parents could finance them from donations. Third, it couldn't hurt anything. She would continue to live. She is not in pain so there would be no harm done. All this would work unless Mr. Schiavo has some nefarious reason not to let it go. The only good thing about this whole sordid affair is that we haven't heard about Michael Jackson or Scott Peterson for a week.

I must apologize! I guess I was being much too subtle when I expressed my views on illegal, criminal aliens in our country. Allow me to provide some detail. The first act of an illegal is to commit a federal felony by crossing the border illegally. If they are caught, they should be immediately deported. The U.S. Army should be assigned to patrol our southern border. They should be given permission to shoot to kill if they detect invaders. All illegals found hiding in this country should be rounded up, loaded on barges and shipped to southern Mexico with a warning that to return is to die. The Mexican government should have heavy sanctions levied against it for providing aid to the invaders. The drug laden, disease infected criminals must not be allowed to invade our country. Any criminal foreigners in our jails should be shipped directly to President Fox. How much longer are we going to stand for this crap? Are you aware that there is a movement among Mexicans living in our country to take back the southwestern states? I'm all for legal imigration. I know many people who waited and waited for visas to enter this country legally. It is an insult to legal imigrants to allow the criminal invaders to live here. NO AMNESTY!!!!! Well, I hope this clears up any misunderstanding or questions you may have had on my stance on criminal invaders.

A really good friend of mine on the east coast is retiring at the end of the month. I am sure he will be a lot happier out of work than he ever was while he was working. Retirement is great, but the "golden years" suck.

I can finally hobble around the hoouse. It has been almost a week since I blew out my foot. I've been confined to quarters until today. It is hard to believe how much we depend on two good legs. My wife, busy little bee that she is, whipped right out last Sunday and got me some crutches. I damned near killed myself trying to learn how to operate the things. Never was successful. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Benefits

As much as I dislike this miserable valley, it does have some good features. For example, this morning one of my wife's little friends dropped off a huge bag of oranges and tangerines. These are not the kind you find in the stores in the north. The oranges are as big as grapefuits and the tangerines are as big as oranges. They came out of the fields this morning, so you just know they are sweet and juicy. A little later in the year, we will receive boxes and baskets of grapes.
We get grapes here in some varieties unknown to people outside this valley. So, I guess there are some compensations for living in this fishless place.

The mindless media, as usual, has gone completely berserk with their coverage of the Brian Nichols affair. While it is to be admitted that he is a very violent criminal, devoid of any traits that make him worth rehabilitating and knowing that he deserves to die as soon as possible, the media will not admit that the rest of the world did not stop turning as soon as this murdering idiot pulled the trigger. They have covered him 24/7. GIMMEE A BREAK!!!
You have probably noticed that Scott Peterson, another convicted murderer, is back in the news. The media wants you to believe that there are new developements in his case. The real reason, as predicted by this humble author, is that his new book has come out. How the hell can the prison system allow such atrocities? The entire United States prison system should take lessons from the sheriff in Arizona. His prisoners get no TV, no weight room, no library. They get to sleep in tents, winter and summer. They don't get really good food and he makes the men wear pink! That's my kind of law enforcement. There are almost NO returnees to his jail. Gee, I wonder why?

Now the wretches in the "human rights" organizations are starting to whine because, apparently, the number of prisoners at gitmo is dwindling. They fear that the U.S. is turning these low-lifes over to other governments for more thorough questioning. They know, and have known all along, that we treat our prisoners better than anyone in the world. They also know that if the Pakistanis or the Saudis get their hands on them, they will squeal like pigs. It's their own damned fault. They shouldn't have raised so much hell with the military. They shouldn't have tried to get them protection just like US citizens. I have no sympathy for the prisoners. The only thing I can says to the human rights advocates is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again the communist ACLU has shot themselves in the foot. I wish they would shoot themselves a little higher up. Say, just above the neck.

Now that summer is approaching, the moronic children with their obnoxious ghetto blasters are starting to creep out from under their rocks and back out onto the street. The usual motif is a nice looking truck or car with a 5,000 watt stereo system playing at full volume. Here's a little stock tip. Buy hearing aid company stocks. All of these stupid little jerks will need auditory assistance soon. Oh, what I'd give for an RPG!!!

It has cooled off today. Once again the temperature has plummeted to less than 70 degrees. BOOOO!! No fishing yet. BOOOO!! Once again, the weather here sucks.

80 degrees!

At last the temperature has hit eighty degrees. It is almost warm enough to think about fishing, swimming and other sports for the mentally sound. If the weather holds like this or starts another upward climb, I should be fishing in a week or two. Note that while I was whining about the lousy weather, I never said I couldn't take it. I used to romp in that foul white crap, hunt in it, fish in it and drive in it. Then, I matured. I now am fully aware that so-called "winter sports" are really just a way for those trapped in the deep throws of ice and snow to compensate for their utter misery. They seem to be disturbed by the fact that some of us were smart enough to move out of those latitudes, while they were not. Over the long, frozen years, their brains have become defective from being iced down 90% of the time. They have my heartfelt sympathy and I hope they will accept my condolences.

I'll admit that wretched California is the home of west coast communism, but it is no worse than Massachusetts or New York. Those who are trapped in the asphalt jungles of the east have no real idea about mountains, plains and unending coast lines unless they have been fortunate enough to visit the west. Not California, but Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be westerners, believe that the entire east coast from Boston to Norfolk is covered in concrete and asphalt. It is loaded with crooks, criminals and communists. It is rife with corporate scum who embezzle the nations money. Several of my best friends are stuck in this horrible beehive. Since they know nothing else, they are probably trapped for good.

Once again, I am in the preliminary stages of planning a cross country tour. I hope I have better luck this year than in years past. Every time I try to go, I am stopped by physical BS. Ah, to be twenty again!! I don't care what AARP says, the "golden years" suck.

This is the month I pay off my computer. I mention this because microsoft has announced their new windows system "longbow". I am wondering if we can just upgrade to it or will we have to buy a whole new platform. Also, my pool crawler is on its last legs. It has lasted 9 years and beeen repaired many, many times. My pool service informs me that the next time it breaks, there will be nothing left to repair. I examined the device and found they are right. New ones are big bucks. I hope the taxman is good to me. Oh well.

Operation a success!!

Did you notice? A major cancer has been removed from the American news scene. Little Danny Blather, after years of stupidity in broadcast journalism, has been removed from the tumerous CBS channels. Many of us have prayed for this for years. He was a hard case liberal who stood slightly to the left of Karl Marx. I think he dragged the entire news industry downward toward liberalism. My only regret in this whole sordid episode is that I am writing a farewell instead of an epitaph.

The weather continues to grow warmer by the day. And now a word for those of you who back east who accused me of being a puss for whining about the weather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you enjoying those 5 foot snow drifts? Got icicle?
It was 77 here today in bright sunshine. My latest source of amusment on TV is the weather channel. It provides hours and hours of laughs.

Are you guys sick of Michael Jackson? I am. Every minute of every day on every news channel, we are force-fed the king of pop. It resembles the OJ trial. I immediately switch to another channel when the Jackson trial comes on. What a bore!!

My buddy Carl isn't fishing. He says the fishing at this time of year in Carolina sucks. Every time he calls, he wants to know if I've been to the ditch (aquaduct) to fish for stripers. Saddly, I haven't. I'll bet the fishing is good in Washington. Trout season is about to start. Wish I was there. If someone out there is catching any fish, let me know.

I guess the grandchildren won't be coming for spring break. Damned shame. Well, there is always this summer. At least that is something to look forward to.

Luckily, we got some fish and crabs from some friends up at Kodiak. Those crab legs sure were good. yum

At Last

Warmer weather is almost here! It got up to 75 today, which is my thermal cutoff point. I was able to leave the outside door to the bedroom open all day and got it aired out. 2 days from now, it will be 80. 2 weeks from now, it'll be 90. Summer is upon us!!

Teddy "boy" Kennedy, you know, the murdering rummy from Mass., is back in the news making stupid statements about the President and the present administration. He called them Hitlers. What a moron. It is a real mystery to me why the people of Massachusetts contiue to elect this idiot. It seems to me that he shouldn't be running around loose making dumb-ass remarks about other politicians. He should be in jail. Along with Bill and Hillary. All crooks. I guess those Bostonians are as stupid as I always thought they were.

Social Security was nice enough to raise our medicare premiums just enough to wipe out our cost of living increase. We therefore netted a big el goose-o eggo. I'm really worn out with politicians. It seems the only time our wallets are not in danger of recieving a cashectomy is when congress is not in session.

Its still a little chilly for fishing, but the time is fast approaching. I can almost taste those fresh surf perch. I hope I find a good spot so I can take my grandchildren there this summer. No word from Carl, my east coast fishing buddy on how is doing fishing. When he's quiet, its no good.

Now for the Delano weather report: It still sucks, but not as bad as it used to. Oh well.

the food chain

I just knew there had to be a lower form of life in this country than Michael Moore!! There is. It's name is Michael Newdow. He is the sleazy, ambulance chasing, egotistical, anti-American dick head who is filing all these suits in federal court to completely secularize America. This idiot is more dangerous than Osama Ben Laden. Why? Well OBL took down a couple of buidlings and killed a bunch of people. Buildings can be replaced. Newdow is tearing at the very heart of American society. He is attempting to undermine 200 years of history with his inane rhetoric about God in government. He claims to be all for the Constitution, yet he attempts to destroy it. Already having been turned down by the Supreme Court, he is now filing lawsuits in all 13 district courts. Does he have a chance? No, except for the ninth circuit court here in California. They are a group known for their extreme liberalism and anti-American rulings. They are also trying to dismantle the American way of life, so they should get along rather well with Newdow. What can be done about this maniac? Well, very little that's legal. I guess someone with a lot of bucks could start filing lawsuits against him for depriving the rest of us of our right to our heritage. If I were younger, I might take some more direct action, but those days are long gone. Another thing we can do is to support the organizations that are fighting him in the courts. Just punch "newdow" into your browser.

It finally stopped raining. There is a lot of fog and it is still cold, but at least it rains no more. The pool was 1 inch from overflow when it quit. The weather sucks.

I don't think anybody but Carl is fishing yet. It shouldn't be too long until we see some major improvement in the weather. Then, its off to the coast. I can't wait.

Another little girl in Florida is missing from her home over night. While I am not a big advocate of vigilanteism, I think they only way to stop these guys is for the people to find them, take them to a secluded spot and do really terrible things to them. Then lynch 'em. The courts are much too slow and the punishment much too mild for these sickos. Am I suggesting that we, the people, should take these matters into our own hands? Hell yes!!

Once again, this year, I am going to attempt to grow tomatoes. My past experiences in this endeavour have been abject failures. Sometimes, I even measure the pH of the soil. It doesn't seem to matter. Tomato plants left in my care are invariably doomed. I will, however, give it another shot. Because I am obstinate and hard-headed, that's why. My wife can grow anything. She doesn't seem to follow any scientific formula. She just puts the seeds in the ground and raises beautiful fruits, vegetables and flowers. She's kind of like Johnny Appleseed. She goes to the garden and flicks seeds and other mysterious items in what looks like a random pattern. She gets acres of healthy plants. When I try it, I get acres of garbage.

I am still hoping that my grandchildren will visit at spring break. We seem to have acquired a step-grandson to go along with the rest of the herd. I think it is great!! I can hardly wait to see the entire menagerie.

Have you ever been late on a payment and then get a phone call from some foreign sounding chump? Well they sound that way because the are foreigners. Most of them are in India. I refuse to discuss my finances with anybody overseas. Especially foreigners. If you want to bug me, use Americans, in America. Try to insure that they speak english. Some don't. Oh well.

What did he say?

As predicted, the buffoon, Howard Dean, is dragging his party right down the slippery slope by making racial slurs, promoting bigotry and perpetrating other items of idiocy. As head of the DNC, he was the almost unanimous choice for that position by the Republicans. The Republicans want to watch him as he slowly but surely scuttles the dumocrap boat. I guess we may have finally answered that question; How stupid can they get?

Here's a list of things I don't give a rats ass about:
1. Scott Peterson
2. School boys receiving vitamin "P" from their female teachers
3. Chuck and Camille
4. Al Franken
5. The left wing, pinko Hollywood crowd
6. Michael Jackson
7. Mr. John Heinz, you know, the guy who ran for president last time and lost
8. Steroids
9. Hockey
10. Major league baseball
Of course, the list could be a lot longer, but these are the things I am really tired of hearing about. Does anybody out there give a big quack quack about any of them? Why?

Martha Stewart will be out of jail soon. Didn't you feel a lot safer when she was behind bars?Does she have to register as a kitchen utensil violator? How about as a serial cookie baker? The people who prosecuted her will eventually get what's coming to them. If they did this to teach everyone a lesson, the lesson they taught was; don't talk to the cops without a lawyer. I know I never will again.

It has rained more here in the last week than in the previous ten years. Everything is soaked. The pool is almost at flood stage. What a mess. The weather here sucks.

Shot

It looks like the dumocraps have finally blown themselves out of seriouis political consideration. As usual, they demonstrated their total ineptitude as marksmen. This time, they took dead aim at their foot and shot themselves squarely in the ass. Howard Dean???? You remember him. The amazing exploding politician. Went completely berserk in Iowa last year. Now he's head of the dnc. Look at the all-star cast behind him: Kennedy, Schumer, Feinstein, Boxer, Clinton and numerous other far left idiots. I wonder if they are too stupid too realize that they have now relegated themselves to what will probably be a big, fat #3 position nationally. The only question is, who will step into the #2 slot? My guess is that it will be the libertarians. At least the libertarians offer a viable alternative. The dumocraps have now scuttled their rusty old bucket. It is sinking fast. hahahahaha Maybe now we can get some reasonable federal judges.

It is now Valentine's day. I wonder if any of those secular dwarfs are celebrating. They should know that the full name of the semi-holiday is "St. Valentine's Day". When they understand the Christian nature of the day, will they take back they candy, flowers and jewelry, or will they show the true hypocritical nature of their evil little psyches? I almost escaped Valentine's day by pleading sick. Now, however, I am committed to taking her to the coast for dinner next week. I don't know why I keep trying when I know there is no way to win. Just stupid, I guess.

Summer is coming.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Hearts and Flowers

Well, here it is. Valentines day. Women revere it, men despise it. Women love it because they think it is romantic. Men don't like it because it gives the lady surgeons another chance to perform a cashectomy on us. Candy (get fat). Flowers (don't last, probably poisonous). Jewelry (useless, expensive bobbles). Ugh!!! Please believe my sincerity when I say, "BAH, HUMBUG".

The last game of the football season has come and gone. (pro bowl) Now there will be a long, boring intermission until next season. It looks like the steroid scandal is going to hit about 80% of the baseball players. What a bunch of idiots. Take the dope, muscle up, get big bucks, die before you can spend it. Morons. Did you notice anything missing this year? I thought not. They cancelled the entire hockey season! For the first time ever, the hockey players will get to summer time with the same amount of teeth that they had last year. Ho Hum.

All those erectile disfunction drugs, viagra, cialis, etc. say that if you get an erection that lasts more than four hours you should call a doctor. I think I would call Hugh Hefner. Four hours? WOW!!!

And finally, the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Retract this!

I must print a retraction of a statement I made in an earlier blog. I said that my pal on the east coast had 40 years of government service. He quickly (maybe too quickly) pointed out that he had only 30 years of service. I would have sworn he told me he was approaching 70 years old and had 40 years in the government grind, but I guess he's only 60 years old with 30 years. I may have surmised his age and service after having seen some pictures of him. So Sorry!!

Does anybody give a damn about this Chuck and Camille deal? He's an adulterer and she's a fornicator. Together they are a royal pain in the ass. I guess now we'll have to live with weekly updates on the happy couple. Didn't we imigrate from Europe to avoid this kind of nonsense?

Is anybody out there fishing? I guess the only one, nation wide, is Carl. It is only a couple of weeks or so until it gets warm enough to go fishing here. I keep a full tank of gas in the car so I can shoot out at a moment's notice.

There is a lot of fog here in the valley. It will stay until the sun comes out for real.

What's with these mothers killing their babies? And then, they get off with no jail time, just go have your tubes tied and you're a good girl again. They should chuck their butts in prison for 200 years. Ah, the joys of ultra-liberal judges! They should all be fired.

While we're on the subject of justice, are you aware of the recent number of young female teachers who are laying some vitamin "P" on their male students? The female commentators are going nuts trying to convict the teachers. The male commentators are going along with it mostly because they don't want to subject themselves to the wrath of the females. Have you seen the teachers? They are knockouts. You know and I know that those male commentators are thinking the same thing you and I are thinking. "Those lucky little punks!! I'd boink her any day!!" If my son ever came home with a tale about boinking his teacher, the first thing I'd find out is which one. If it were one of those movie star quality ones, I would then find out her phone number. Then I would go have a heart to heart chat with her. Horizontally.

Aw, nuts!

The super bowl is now history. If you want to make some money next year, just find out what my picks are in the playoffs and the super bowl and bet the opposite. That's right, I didn't pick one single game right. If I were a gambler, I'd be dining on cat food now.

The North Koreans have finally admitted they have a nuke. If I were running the show, I'd nuke them completely away right now. If we don't they are going to cause us more grief than you can imagine. Just the thought of a maniac like Kim Il Sung running around with nukes makes my blood run cold. We should have mashed his ass when it would have been easy. This is where years of diplomacy get you. It is hard to understand why we continuously rely on diplomacy when we know that it doesn't work 90% of the time. Ross Perot had a great idea when he said that we should close all our embassies world wide and open trade consulates to promote American goods abroad. Oh, and fire all the diplomats. We should keep of couple of these dweebs on hand in case a special situation arises calling for weak kneed idiocy.

Well, the winter solstice has passed and we are well on our way to the vernal equinox. Spring will officially arrive on or about March 21. That is approximately the day that summer arrives in southern California. We seldom have spring. One week the average temperature will be 65. BOOO. The next week it will be 85 and climbing. YESSSSS!!!! Until then, we'll just have to suffer. I have a great deal of sympathy for those in the east who rapped on me about how much they enjoy cold weather and what a wooos I am to bitch about it. Are you guys happy now that you're covered in ice? HAHAHAHA

A really good friend of mine is preparing too retire from the U.S. government after 40 years of service. In our conversations he tries to convince me to remain active and in contact with my old agency. What he doesn't understand is that I had been forced to deal with those morons for over 20 years. I want total disengagement from them. I am still in touch with a couple of my coworkers. They are the only ones I give a rat's ass about. The rest of them can slide down the slippery slope and off over the edge. I'll shed not a tear. I only have so many ticks left on my ticker and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it blowing hot air at a gang of incompetent louts. Am I bitter? Hell yes!!

It should be warm enough too go fishing next month. I hope so. My family in Washington State keep trying to lure me into going north, but that isn't likely to happen before the middle of August. Summer occurs in Washington from August 15 to August 18. The fishing is really good there. Lakes and streams a re everywhere and they all have water in them and the water all has fish. Unlike southern California where most of the rivers are little dried out pathways and the lakes fluxuate up and down like a yoyo from flooded to damn near dry. Really.

Did I mention my displeasure over Ward Churchill, the idiot professor for the University of Colorado who compared the September 11 vicitms to Adolph Eichman? He says that they brought it on themselves. Expanding on his theory, if he pissed somebody off enough to shoot his worthlees ass, he would have effectively committed suicide. After all, it would be his fault the he enraged the perp.

Now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

SS

Now to discuss FDR's behemoth, Social Security. It needs to be modified. I am receiving SS disability right now, and I'm an old fart, so any changes that take place won't effect me unless I live to be 170. The president has put forth a proposal. I don't know if it is right or wrong, but I do know that the dumocraps have offered nothing at all except to say that the system isn't broke yet. I suppose that it is a much more comfy world with your head buried in the sand. Unfortunately, it does not help to solve the problem. The dems don't want to change anything about it because it is the bastard child of FDR. They worship him, almost as much as JFK. But even he said that eventually, it would have to be changed to accomodate at least some private ownership. President Bush has had the courage to take on this really tough problem. The stupid liberals believe that his proposal is to privatize the entire system. Nothing could be further from the truth. The changes he has proposed are voluntary. The liberals don't want to change because they see a little of the power they own slipping away. We will hear the same dumb-ass arguments when we try to modify the income tax, a truly totalitarian nightmare that has no place in a free society.

It was 65 degrees here today. That is still 10 degrees below my thermal cutoff point, but at least the sun was shining. Spring cannot be far away.

It looks like the Iraqis may have elected a mostly secular government. That is excellent, if true. I don't know if any of you have ever lived under a religious regime, but I have and I can tell you it intensely sucks. There is nothing wrong with having religious leaders. Having a church in charge is the worst. Read about the Spanish inquisition and you'll understand.

I guess no one is catching any fish, nation wide. I doubt if anyone is even fishing. Except Carl. I dream of the day when I can go duck hunting again. I'll need to have a good hunting buddy. I can't run down a dead duck, much less a live one. Maybe I'll buy a really good dog.

I hope the grandchildren can make it over here for spring break. My wife has a crying spell every time she thinks about them. Oh well.

Guess who

She didn't know what to do. She was stuck out in the sticks with no way out. Then by luck, she met a big time liar who had some money and a vision of leaving the hick town. So she latched on to him. He took her far away to the nation's capitol, where she was forced to ignore the many infidelities of her bum. She vowed she would become a force to be reckoned with. When Slick lost his job, she looked around for a nice cushy spot from which to build her power base. She knew that back home, she wouldn't stand a chance because they were already wise to her and Slick. She studied diligently and decided that Massachusetts, infamous for political morons, was the place to invade. But they already had an ample supply of neer-do-wells. She looked to the west, to California where people are dumber than rocks and found the job she wanted, but both positions were already filled with idiots.She studied the nation and decided that the only place that had an opening where the people were stupid enough to vote for her was New York. She knew she could get elected there because they had already elected a really stupid comrade in arms, we'll call CS. Can you guess who this is? One more hint, her and slick have left a trail of bodies and blood money in their wake for the last 50 years. Know who it is?

It is hard to believe the continuing stupidity displayed by Boxer, Pelosi and Kennedy. I didn't include the elf because he doesn't count for much. It is really pretty humoroous to watch this gang of nuts circle around each other and destroy themselves while they try their hardest to usurp President Bush. The problem here is that this country needs a 2 party system. If they don't mend their ways, the dumocraps will not be part of that system.

The days have been sunny. I can see that spring is about to burst forth. I can't wait until it gets warm. Right now, it is cold. It sucks.

Is anybody out there catching any fish? Is it too cold to go fishing where you are? It is here.

I finally broke down and bought Microsoft works suite. I was never really happy with that Lotus stuff. Works has "word" included in the package, so now some of my pals will actually be able to decode my attachments without performing circus-like manuevers.

Super Bowl in 3 days. Hohum.

WRONG!!!!!!!!

Is any body surprised that Kerry (the poodle) and Kennedy (the swimmer) are now ready to cut and run over the Iraqi election? I think this points to a basic character flaw in both of these political cowards. The worst possible thing we could do at this point is to bring our troops home before Iraq is stabilized. It is just one more way that shows the liberals are willing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. As time marches on, the far left is commiting political suicide. Kennedy has already shot his big mouth off and is becoming irrelevant. Same goes for Kerry and Clinton. A basket full of losers. The Iraqi election was a huge success. The liberals are pissed. They were counting on absolute failure. Without the pictures of Iraqis waiting in long lines and dancing in the streets, you can bet that the liberal media would have declared the election a flop. How have we let so many anti-americans gain so much power? I think it is time to take the power from them. No, I don't know how. Why don't you guys dream up some super duper plan?

Hillary (the liar) Clinton collapsed at a speech she was giving today. Unfortunately, she is expected to make a full recovery. The dumocraps can't really be serious about running her for president. Of course, they have picked lame horses before and paid the price.

My buddies down in Georgia got buried under and ice storm. It must have been terrible for them. The power went down and stayed down for some of them for a couple of days. I wonder if it killed the peach crop. Or the Vidalia onion crop. BOOOO

The days are now getting longer little by little. In another month and a half, it may be warm enough to go outside.

And now for the Delano weather report. It sucks.

Charging into super bowl weekend this year is like being in a large mudslide. You slip down the slope and at the bottom, more mud. What little interest I have in this affair is directed at the Eagles. I hope they win. We'll see.

gas bags fail again

Despite the best efforts of Barbara (the check bouncer) Boxer and Ted (dick 'em and dunk 'em) Kennedy, Rice has been sworn in as Secretary of State. Time will tell if she was worth the effort. One thing you can be sure of is that the gas bag duo will be back with even more idiotic proposals in the near future.

We are on the eve of the Iraqi elections. The hopes of most people in the U.S. is that they will succeed so we can bring our troops home. Unfortunately, there are a few far left morons who would love to see these elections fail.(see paragraph above) I suspect that these kinds of assholes cheer a little inside at every casualty report. What a low-life bunch of Marxist jerks.

I just read a book by Ann Coulter called "Treason". It describes in detail the lengths to which liberals will go to undermine our nation. Coulter is one of the few women who have something to say worth listening to. She is an admitted right winger. She has written several books about the failures of the liberal crowd in America. Some of her stuff is scary, but all of it is true.

We are also on the eve of the super bowl. Somehow, I just can't get excited about watching Philly play Boston. Maybe next year will bring back that old, good feeling.

Oh, I almost forgot the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Still there

One of the guys who did the Philippine tour wrote to tell me that the famous (or infamous) Fire Empire is still in operation after 35 years. For those unfortunate enough to have not been there, The Fire Empire was one of those joints in Angeles City where everything was for sale and the price was always negotiable. We had some really good times there. One guy accused me of being drunk or trying to get drunk for a whole year. That is simply not true. I was drunk or trying to get drunk for almost 20 years on four continents. Of course my memory is a little hazy. As I said, I have selective amnesia about the not so good parts and that's the way I want it.

I hope that you guys back east who chided me for whining about the weather are happy now that you are buried under 8 feet of snow and the temperature has plummeted down to -20. Let me just say, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I assume that this is the way you like it. Get out there and shovel that crap. Slither around on it. Ball it up and throw it. The ways to display winter idiocy are endless.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Each day gets us closer to the time when we can go fishing, I can't wait. We'll try it first up by San Simeon beach. Several years ago my #1 grandson and I were invited to go fishing on Vandenburg AFB. We caught a whole bunch of surf perch. My grandson caught the largest one. It was great. Hopefully, I'll have similar tales to tell later in the year. Do I plan on boring you with stories of our exploits? Hell yes!

I can't believe that the Steelers also got their asses whipped by the Patriots. Our only hope now is the Eagles. I'm not a big Philly fan, but they're better than New England. As a consolation, I can be happy that the Cowboys lost, lost, lost. Wait til next year.

I'll what?

I am really tired of recieving e-mail that tells me I'll grow a tail if I don't forward it to everyone I know. In fact, I'm so tired of it, instead of filing it or sending it on, from now on, I'll just delete it. I know this won't stop it, but at least I won't saddle everyone I know with the possibility of being declared personna non grata in heaven.

Several people I have conversed with insist on sprinkling their conversation with the phrase, "you understand what I'm saying?" The answer is, if you are speaking english, even in some muttering, low dialectic muddle, I understand. It pisses me off to have people ask me that. Where did we ever get the idea that someone we're talking to wouldn't understand what we're saying? Ludicrous!!

One of the answers to my last blog said that I was living in the past and that all ther girls and all the bars I used to haunt are gone. That is the sad truth. However, I have chosen to live in the past for the most part. It was much more exciting than what passes for living now. My memories of 1968 are much more vivid than my memories of yesterday and a hell of a lot more pleasant. Am I foolish? Am I approaching senitlity? Well, yes!! So what?

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Only 2 1/2 months to summer. I swear this year, I'm going to the coast for some surf fishing. My grandchildren will be here when school is out. I plan to have already been by then.

Sadly, football season is almost gone. Only 2 more game weekends. Booooo. That means I won't have anything to do until Fishing starts except learn new tricks with my yoyo. Oh well.