Monday, December 11, 2006

alright, already

Once again the American people have displayed their abject stupidity by electing another flock of liberal idiots to congress. I guess they have forgotten the Democraps plans to tax us into prosperity. Pelosi, who couldn't outwit a sack of sand, has sworn to try to pass heavy-duty taxes on the rich. What she didn't reveal is that her idea of 'rich' is anyone who makes over $20k a year. Bend over, here it comes!!!!

That whining herd of cry-babies in New York are at it again. Last summer, they wept bitter tears over Arod.(130 rbi's and 30 home runs) Now they are sniveling over Manning just because he hasn't managed to single handedly save the Giants from obliteration. New York doesn't deserve superior players. If it weren't for some really well-heeled owners, no one would want to play there. I know if I were some hot-shot sports ace, they'd have to offer me the girl, the gold watch and everything to play in front of those pussilanimous poultroons.

Winter is here with a vengeance. This week's highs are only in the high 50's. BOO...Hiss Delano scores a big fat zero for weather this month. It is still months until springs arrives. UGH!!

Some of you may have hears runors that we are moving to Las Vegas. I must admit that we are looking for property there. Something half-way between my daughter's house and Ethel M's would be ideal.

Yes, it is once again that time of year when little children are at their best, their beastly little hearts hoping to wipe out a year of evil with a couple of weeks of angelic behavior. When mothers prepare to build memories for years to come. When fathers clean their rifles, hoping to ,at last, get those reindeer tenderloins. Most men believe that there should be an elf season, especially fat elves in red suits and fruity little tasseled hats. You know, the ones that max out your credit cards annually.

And so, I will bid everyone a Merry Christmas. And it is CHRISTmas. Whip a liberal for Jesus!!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

nyny

It is true!!! The 2 most powerful baseball teams the world has ever seen have been blown away. All I can say is, hahahahahahahahaha!!! So much for those snooty, snotty New York teams.

How about those Saints? Who'd a thunk it?

Well, we are now in the icy grip of winter. Temperatures barely make it into the low 80s and plummet to the high 40s at night. If I'm going to freeze, I'd much rather do it somewhere water flows and has fish in it. Having a miserable time...wish you were here.......instead of me!!

I can't believe how much better I feel since I stopped watching TV news. No wonder that we are in such tough shape. The media has turned out to be a flock of joy-busting morons with little to do with truth. I am convinced that we need to seriously overhaul our entire media system. Whatever happened to balanced reporting? Arrogance is the #1 trait displayed by the press. They ignore the courts and have invented the "right to know". Where, exactly does it say that the public has a right to know everything? I can't find it. The media thought it up to justify their lust for dirt. It would be worth it to be in the public eye just to tell the media to buzz off.

My #1 grandson's birthday is rapidly approaching. Luckily, my wife will make the journey to Las Vegas to bestow gifts upon him. I have no idea what she'll give him. I don't think I want to know. As long as it isn't ballet slippers, I'll be happy.

On a less happy note, my sweet little girl will be leaving soon and heading back to Alaska. I count myself lucky to have had her this long.

I still have not yet won the lottery. Would 40 or 50 million dollars change me? HELL YES!!! People who say it would have no significant impact on their way of life are kidding themselves.

The next five months will be colder than a pocketful of penguin poop, but I will once again attempt to survive it. Oh well................

Sunday, September 17, 2006

September song

So there I was in the middle of a 110 degree heat wave when my central sir conditioning gave up the ghost. Sears was happy to replace it for only $8.5k. Of course, three days after the installation was completed, the temperature plummeted down to 80 and has stayed there ever since. There must be some corrolary to Murphy's law that covers such events.

My Okies lost to Oregon and the zebras, who made two really bad calls at a critical moment. On a brighter note, Notre Dame, picked by the usual gang of moron sports writers to become national champions this year, got their asses kicked hard by Michigan which wasn't even in the top ten.

As you may have guessed from my preamble, the weather here is just barely acceptable. Temps are in the high 70's and low 80's. They say it will warm up later this week, but I have no faith in it.

I have given up watching the news and find I am much, much happier in the land of the ignorant. The news always tilts slightly to the left of Marx. Who needs it? Not me.

Whatever happened to Bin Ladin? Are we ever going to capture that repulsive pile of dog shit? If it were up to me, I'd give all those dingle-weed countries in the area three days to produce his slimey ass and then I'd nuke them all. It might turn out to be a learning experience for the rest of those dorks who give us so much grief.

I see that KFC is waiting. Until my next tirade, aloha.

Monday, August 07, 2006

boo hoo hoo

You have heard that New York baseball fans are really tough because of the way they BOO their heroes during a slump, AROD, for instance. I think they are they biggest cry babies in these United States. What a herd of wimps!!! A truly excellent player hits a little rough spot, and this bunch of whining, simpering pussies make life miserable for him. New York does not deserve a team with outstanding players. If it wasn't for Steinbrenner's bucks, they would get the third rate team they are crying for.

The weather here was just right for a while. It was 105 to 115 for about 3 weeks. Now it has cooled to 95-100. Satifactory, but nothing like the glory days of July. The days are growing shorter. I see the spectre of winter starting to rear it's ugly head.

The middle east morons continue to show that they don't deserve to live. I still maintain that the only way to solve that problem is to nuke the hell out of them. I would have said, 'nuke 'em back to the stone age, but that would be a big step forward for them. Of course that gang of limp-wristed bufoons in Washington won't do it. They would rather see our wonderful country thrown to the dogs than give up political correctness. Too bad there isn't some way to get rid of the entire worthless crew and start all over. We need people with guts and foresight to oversee our governments affairs. I have no doubt that we will go to war with Iran. When we do, we should carefully consider the nuclear option.

Our grandchildren have gone back to Nevada. We had a great time with them. My grand daughter (age 3) now swims like a fish. My #2 grandson is turning into a first class little kid. He is going to be LARGE! My #1 grandson will be in college next year. Maybe when he graduates, he'll buy buy me the yacht I so richly deserve.

Our 15 year old will be a sophomore this year. She is already making noises about volleyball, basketball and track. The fun never stops!!!!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Where did he go?

That's the question that will be on everyone's lips after I win the $106 million dollar lottery tomorrow. I'll disappear like the morality of the media, never to be seen again. I have already produced a list of things I'll get, where I'll go and what I'll do. OOOOPS!!! There's that dream again. I get it every time the lottery gets over 100 million. Damn!!

Does anybody know who won the Stanley Cup? Or the World Cup? Or even if they've been played? Does anyone care?

The weather here is perfect. During the days it is 90 to 105 and at night it plummets down to 72 or 73. Delano gets a big "A" for weather this week.

As you know, we are being invaded from the south by a vast herd of ne'er do well welfare seekers. Contact your congressional people and the president. Let them know that this is totally unacceptable. We need the Army on the border with orders to shoot the invaders.

Are we ever going to catch Ben Ladin? He has drifted away from the mainstream media's attention. They have more important things to consider, like steroids in sports.

Once again, I am hoping to make an out of state trip. I really want it to happen, mostly because I am completely fed up with California. C'mon lottery!!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

YES

So the low, slinking animal that was zarqawi has departed permanently. The media mutants are displeased because they had to admit that zarqawi was rubbed out in Iraq, thus sealing the Iraq Al Qaeda tie. So President Bush was right all along and that pack of left wing pansies was wrong. This kind of makes me wonder what else the liberal sniffers are wrong about. I suspect that at least 90% of what passes for news is at least tainted and the other 10% is pure unadulterated bullshit. This is a huge blow to the pinko commie liberal faction. Will it swing this year's election results? We can only hope.

Daily temperatures here in Delano have been running in the mid 90s. That is satifactory. We have all been swimming for the last two days. How could anyone embrace winter when summer is so clearly superior? In my opinion, those who bitch about heat and praise the cold are definitely squirrel bait.

One of my nephews in Spokane is turning into a pro grade baseball player. He is a great kid with good grades and no bad habits. I'll report from time to time on his progress into the world of professional sports.

Two of my grandchildren have arrived. This is great. I get to torpedo all their mother's excellent traing and then send them home like little guided missiles. Grandchildren are much more fun than children. Revenge is sweet!!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

WRONG........again

So there I sat on the deck. I looked at the pool. It was a beautiful, crystal clear blue. I observed the flower beds and the vegetable garden. It was all starting to bloom under the warm (102 degree) Southern California sun. A perfect day. That was 3 short days ago. I thought summer was upon us at last! But, NO!! It rained on me today. The temperature has dropped off to a chilly 71 degrees. Once again, I was wrong in assuming that summer was present. Summer is still lurking beyond the veil of global cooling. Yes, it's true. The world is getting colder, not warmer. I believe another ice age is not far away. YUK!!!

The media maggots are still in hot pursuit of Barry Bonds. He gets more publicity than the war. Lighten up! He has never flunked a drug test. He has answered all the questions that the inquisition has offered. They have proven just exactly nothing. I'll bet if he only had 100 home runs, we wouldn't hear a peep out of the talking heads. Does this sound like I have no respect for the media? BINGO!!!! They are a greedy herd of obnoxious, arrogant assholes who have taken it upon themselves to adjudicate every case that floats to the top.
Last weekend the poles revealed that the lowest rated show on the entire weekend was the Stanley cup playoffs. Yup, they scored even lower than ladies Lacrosse. Their market share was an abysmal 0.09.
Once again the American people are being fed a bunch of propaganda aimed at propping up the failing professional soccer league. It ain't gonna work. Americans have football, baseball and basketball. The most exciting thing about a soccer game is watching the grass on the field grow. It's about the same for hockey, except in hockey, you watch the ice melt.

Gas prices continue to rise unabated. Maybe some genius will figure out a way to convert water into hydrogen and oxygen to burn in our engines. It would be a real shame to say farwell forever to our Arab 'chums', but I think most of us could get along without them after a brief period of adjustment. 10 seconds ought to do it.

Speaking of pond scum, I am coming to believe that the only way to have peace with Islam is to kill all of them, everywhere. If you think this is too harsh, you have probably never lived in a Moslem country. Most of that ilk are vile, low individuals who absolutely cannot be trusted. The cancer must be removed completely if the operation is to be a success.

My little girl is visiting relatives in Alaska. She'll be back in June. My grandchildren will be here around the first of June or so. Grandma and I are anxiously awaiting their arrival.

And so it goes.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Great result!!

Thanks to all of you who prayed for my cousin's recovery from surgery. He is home and recuperating nicely. Now say one more prayer of thanks to God who made it happen.

I have revised my opinion on how to deal with the Mexican problem. Instead of rounding them up, we should be gunning them down. When are the Americans going to wise up? We are the object of a full scale invasion from the south. A formal declaration of war is in order. Station our armies on the border. Shoot the invaders. Round up all the illegal aliens and shoot them as spies. You would soon see a major exodus to the south. It wouldn't take much to convince the Mexican government to take some strong action on their side of the border. Especially if they suspected that their country was about to be invaded from the north. Is this a drastic solution? Yes, but we have a drastic problem. time to fix it. Does this sound like I have no sympathy for the poor little invading Mexicans? I do not have any sympathy for invaders.

When is the Barry Bonds saga going to end? He has passed evey drug test ever administered to him. Leave him alone. That hack writer who crucified him for the sake of selling his miserable books should be publicly flogged. Am I a Bonds fan? Not especially, but I don't believe in this kind of trial by idiots.

Are you dismayed by the price of gasoline? You should be pissed off. The oil companies are price gouging on a massive scale. This fall, they will be publicly shocked by their incredible profits. Privately, however, they will be congratulating each other on a major 'mission accomplished'. I don't know what the solution is. I guess we could take over the oil fields by force and fire all the Arabs. It would be less drastic to find an alternative fuel. Something must be done and quickly. The money that should be in American pockets is flooding into Arab pockets. That ain't right.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

almost there

Yes, it's true!!! Summer is almost here. Daytime temps here are mid eighties to low nineties. I have turned off the heater. In a week or so the pool may be warm enough to use. The weather report from Delano is....fair.

So now the illegal aliens have decided to strike. How long are we going to take this kind of insulting abuse from a bunch of criminals. Now that those lunatics are all gathered together in bunches, we should swoop in and arrest them all. Immediate deportation is the solution. Those who are U.S. citizens should be tried for aiding and abetting a foreign invasion. Treason.

It should also be obvious by now that the only permanent solution to the middle east debacle is to nuke them completely off the face off the earth. Arrest all of them who are outside the middle east and execute them. Then, and only then, will we find the peace we desire. If we continue to let the 'diplomats' handle it, we'll be at war for 2,000 years. When termites invade your home, you don't negotiate, you obliterate.

While we are talking about obliteration, I sure wish I had an RPG to take care of those inconsiderate assholes with there 10,000 watt car stereos. It would be very peasant watching them disappear in a blinding flash and a ball of smoke.

The NFL draft is almost over. Once again the so-called experts in the media have shown that they know nothing about how football teams think. Most of them have been at least 85% wrong. Wouldn't you like a job that pays hundreds of thousands a year and lets you be totally incompetent? Sign me up!!!

My little girl made the honor roll!!! Who'd a thunk it? She goes back to visit Alaska at the end of May. She'll be back in late June. My grandchildren will be arriving about the first of June. Life marches on.

If any of you are the praying type, say a little prayer for my cousin, Sterling, who will undergo an extremely dangerous operation on Monday. Do I believe in the power of prayer? Well, duh, it saved my raggedy butt.

About 2 months ago, I stopped listening to the news on TV and radio. Whoever said that ignorance is bliss was definitely right! I haven't been this blissful and relaxed in years! I must admit that I do tune in at sporadic intervals, but the news never changes. Only the names and places. It is like a soap opera. Who needs it? Not me!!

My buddy in North Carolina says the fishing is starting to improve. A little more heat and I may try it myself. There are few places to fish in this valley and getting out of the valley is a semi-long trek. Am I just making excuses? YES..

Gee, I feel 100% better now that I have off-loaded all that bile and tripe!

Don't forget to sock to the ACLU at every opportunity.

Give piece a chance. Or, at least try heavy petting.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Lacrosse???

What is Lacrosse? Does anybody really care if some Lacrosse players got drunk and poked a stripper? Once again the media has found a juicy sex-laden cause to wrap it's mitts around. The media thrives on sex and drug scandals. All we've been hearing from the limited minds of the media is Lacrosse and Bonds. Enough already!! The entire nation is fed up with being fed a steady diet of this kind of trash. WE DO NOT NEED ANY MORE!!!!!

Today the sun has made one of its brief appearances this year. It is a refreshing change from the steady drip, drip, drip of the past month. It was like the whole state had the clap. A little shot of solar penicillin is just what the doctor ordered. Once again, my pool looks like a swamp thanks to over-flowing rain water from the garden. It'll take at least a week to clear it up. Once again, my wife is preparing to chomp on the pool boy about cleaning the filter.

I am waiting for a couple of weeks of steady sunshine before I go fishing. I still want to go surf fishing over at San Simeon. It should be really good once the clouds go away.

My grandchildren will be here for spring break. I can hardly wait. Too many moons have passed since last they visited. We'll be having a major bar-b-q unless the water gods conspire against us.

Now a word about illegal aliens. They are 'illegal aliens'. They are NOT 'undocumented immigrants'. They are in this country illegally. The plans currently being debated in Congress are far too lenient. We should scoop all of them up and immediately deport them. They should have to undergo the same tedious procedure that the legal immigrants have to withstand. They are all felons. Criminals. That crap that the liberal media feeds us about how much they are worth to us does not take into account the fact that they have totally destroyed our health care systems and educational establishments and have overloaded our courts. Many of these criminals were criminals in their countries of origin. Now they are here, murdering, stealing and selling dope. When will we wise up? It should not be the business of the American taxpayer to continue to support these criminals. Their native governments should reform and keep them at home. Fat chance!! Those governments are too corrupt to give their own people a break. However, we are not responsible for their ineptitude. Since countries like Mexico refuse to reform and actually encourage this illegal behaviour, I think we should declare war on them, kick their asses and then annex them. They are, after all, invading our country. There is nothing wrong with a little imperialism.

Please do not forget to dump on the ACLU at every opportunity. The ACLU is the most subversive, dangerous gang of maniacs at large in the U.S. today.

Looks like my acidic inkwell is just about dry for today. Oh well.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Hail Yes!!!!

Not only has the miserable weather rained on us every day for 2 weeks, now it has hailed. What a mess!! I guess you know what my assessment of Delano weather will be today. It is cold, wet and altogether unpleasant. Guam is looking better every day. I wish I weren't so lazy.

There has been a rash of violence amoung the various teams in our sporting world. The hand-wringers are wondering what to do about it. The answer is simple. First violation, 1 year suspended without pay. Second violation, you are gone for good. That may be a little harsh, especially for some sports where contact is common, but it would get rid of the trouble makers and criminals.

My sweet little daughter, who lives in Las Vegas, recently was sponsered into a poker tournament backed by Jeff Gordon. Guess who she took out first? Yup, that's right, she sent ol' Jeff packin'. HAHAHAHAHA. Busted out of his own tournament by a woman amatuer. Incidently, she was sponsered by Sam Schmidt who owns some Indy cars and some Infiniti Pro race cars. He is number one in my book.

Spring is almost here and with it comes fishing season. I sure hope I am able to get out this year. I have a whole room full of fishing equipment that has not been used in three years.

About a week ago some low life asshole put a dent in my wife's new truck in the supermarket parking lot. Naturally, the cowardly little worm escaped unnoticed. Estimated cost of repair is $2,000. Luckily, insurance will pay the bulk of it, but it just burns my butt to think we'll have to pay the deductible because of some sniveling sleaze-bag.

The war in Iraq goes on. Our President is determined to stay the course until the fanatics are defeated. Nobody likes this war, but we must stay with it until all those murdering swine are dead. Yes, DEAD!! My greatest fear is that the American people will elect some left-wing, liberal wimp who will, in effect, give up, cut and run.

I was sickened to see that one of my heroes, Randy Cunningham got busted for being a crook. Here is a guy who was a war hero, a fighter ace and a number one straight shooter. He was corrupted by politics. If those lying bums can corrupt someone like Cunningham, they can probably corrupt anyone except Jimmy Stewart.

Teach a kid to shoot. Teach him/her to fish. Don't let our precious heritage die.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

BOOO HISSS

I have one comment on Super Bowl XL. "Seattle 10, Steelers and Zebras 21."

The temperature here is huffing and puffing and trying to get into the 70's. This is probably not a harbinger of spring, but an evil, devious tactic by the global warming idiots to make us let our guard down. I, however, am not fooled. I will still wear my cold costume until I see some real improvement. I think that even if the global warming nuts are right, so what? We could stand some warmer weather.

We have now entered that wretched time of year when there is no football and it is too cold to go fishing. Since I can't drink anymore, my recreational options are limited. I guess I'm just stuck with quantum mechanics until the fish start biting.

One day, a week ago or so, my sweet little wife called me from the Chevy dealer and announced she was purchasing a new truck. Yes it's big, it's red and it's expensive. I wish her the best of luck. Women are definitely high maintenance items.

Hey, hockey is back in a new, more exciting form!! You can watch the game and place your bets all at the same time. I guess, though, that it is similar to the other sporting venues. I wonder if there are any 'pro' athletes who are not on the take one way or another. Probably only bowlers, whose expectations are very low to start with. That having been said, the next big scandal will likely involve the bowlers and a beer and donut conspiracy.

I am more convinced than ever that we are reverse-engineering alien technology. Look for some major advances in the next 10 years.

My buddy in Maryland is convinced there will be a world war in the near future. If there is, we should make sure the Arabs get crushed like bugs no matter who we are fighting. I, for one, have taken enough crap from those sand eating, goat milking, camel jockeys. They have robbed us blind for years and have financed our enemies with our own bucks. Time to pay the piper. The dance is over!!

We're still wanting to make a major trip this year. Unlike other years, however, I am not going to predict out departure. This only leads to a disastrous result. If we go, it will be mostly unplanned and unexpected.

Well, back to the exciting world of particle physics.
And so it goes.

Monday, January 23, 2006

AHA!!!

I was spot-on when I predicted that further predictions would lead to the untimely demise of my chosen teams. I made no prediction on the playoff games and both of my favorites are now conference champions. My plan is to continue not predicting. It seems to work well and it makes me happy. Expect no prognostication from this corner on the outcome of the super bowl.

Delano weather is still in the refrigerator class. A couple of nights, it has dropped down close to freezing. BOOO, HISS!! Oh well, only a couple of more months until the return of decent weather. I can stay hunkered down for that long.

My wife went back to work last week. She is not happy about it until payday. Then, she turns into queen for a day. I want her to quit. She won't do it. Women!

Housing prices in this area are skyrocketing. Maybe next year I can afford to sell this hovel and move to somewhere fishable.

It is refreshing to see Hillary dropping in the polls. Maybe the American people aren't as stupid as I thought. I believe the dumocraps have looked down the road to the next election and concluded that Hillary is going to be a giant liability. She has apparently been taking stupidity lessons from Mr. Dean. Every time her mouth opens, she jams another foot in it. Right now it looks as though the leading candidate is McCain. That's too bad, because he backs some truly unAmerican policies. Yet, he is better than Hillary. So is Fred, the dog catcher.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Grey, Grey, Grey

Ah yes, another foggy day in the refrigerator that is Southern California. The temperature has plummeted down into the 50 to 60 range. It has even had the timerity to dive below 50 on occasion. Ugly, ugly weather. I guess you know that the weather report from here will be, "It intensely Sucks!!"

I will now make my final prediction on football games. The prediction is.....no more predictions. I have chosen this course because this last season has proven that I have no talent for it. Turns out I'm about 90% wrong. In fact, by merely selecting a winning team, I seem to cast some sort of evil spell upon it, thereby rendering it helpless against any foe. Boo! I would say, "Go Seahawks!!" but I know that would seal their doom.

Once again we are busily planning trips that probably won't happen. I am fully confident that any plans that are made and approved will be negated by some disaster. Recent history has shown that carefully planning a vacation trip somehow triggers the dark forces in the universe to conspire against it and nullify the effort.

Does this entire blog seem a little down? Well its not my fault. I always get grumpy when its cold. I'll be much happier next summer when it is a toasty 105. In fact, the only people who seem to be happy in the cold are those fools who slither down frozen slopes on a pair of boards.

Christmas was a lot more expensive than I thought it would be. Next year, there'll be reindeer meat on the table.