What did he say?

As predicted, the buffoon, Howard Dean, is dragging his party right down the slippery slope by making racial slurs, promoting bigotry and perpetrating other items of idiocy. As head of the DNC, he was the almost unanimous choice for that position by the Republicans. The Republicans want to watch him as he slowly but surely scuttles the dumocrap boat. I guess we may have finally answered that question; How stupid can they get?

Here's a list of things I don't give a rats ass about:
1. Scott Peterson
2. School boys receiving vitamin "P" from their female teachers
3. Chuck and Camille
4. Al Franken
5. The left wing, pinko Hollywood crowd
6. Michael Jackson
7. Mr. John Heinz, you know, the guy who ran for president last time and lost
8. Steroids
9. Hockey
10. Major league baseball
Of course, the list could be a lot longer, but these are the things I am really tired of hearing about. Does anybody out there give a big quack quack about any of them? Why?

Martha Stewart will be out of jail soon. Didn't you feel a lot safer when she was behind bars?Does she have to register as a kitchen utensil violator? How about as a serial cookie baker? The people who prosecuted her will eventually get what's coming to them. If they did this to teach everyone a lesson, the lesson they taught was; don't talk to the cops without a lawyer. I know I never will again.

It has rained more here in the last week than in the previous ten years. Everything is soaked. The pool is almost at flood stage. What a mess. The weather here sucks.

Shot

It looks like the dumocraps have finally blown themselves out of seriouis political consideration. As usual, they demonstrated their total ineptitude as marksmen. This time, they took dead aim at their foot and shot themselves squarely in the ass. Howard Dean???? You remember him. The amazing exploding politician. Went completely berserk in Iowa last year. Now he's head of the dnc. Look at the all-star cast behind him: Kennedy, Schumer, Feinstein, Boxer, Clinton and numerous other far left idiots. I wonder if they are too stupid too realize that they have now relegated themselves to what will probably be a big, fat #3 position nationally. The only question is, who will step into the #2 slot? My guess is that it will be the libertarians. At least the libertarians offer a viable alternative. The dumocraps have now scuttled their rusty old bucket. It is sinking fast. hahahahaha Maybe now we can get some reasonable federal judges.

It is now Valentine's day. I wonder if any of those secular dwarfs are celebrating. They should know that the full name of the semi-holiday is "St. Valentine's Day". When they understand the Christian nature of the day, will they take back they candy, flowers and jewelry, or will they show the true hypocritical nature of their evil little psyches? I almost escaped Valentine's day by pleading sick. Now, however, I am committed to taking her to the coast for dinner next week. I don't know why I keep trying when I know there is no way to win. Just stupid, I guess.

Summer is coming.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Hearts and Flowers

Well, here it is. Valentines day. Women revere it, men despise it. Women love it because they think it is romantic. Men don't like it because it gives the lady surgeons another chance to perform a cashectomy on us. Candy (get fat). Flowers (don't last, probably poisonous). Jewelry (useless, expensive bobbles). Ugh!!! Please believe my sincerity when I say, "BAH, HUMBUG".

The last game of the football season has come and gone. (pro bowl) Now there will be a long, boring intermission until next season. It looks like the steroid scandal is going to hit about 80% of the baseball players. What a bunch of idiots. Take the dope, muscle up, get big bucks, die before you can spend it. Morons. Did you notice anything missing this year? I thought not. They cancelled the entire hockey season! For the first time ever, the hockey players will get to summer time with the same amount of teeth that they had last year. Ho Hum.

All those erectile disfunction drugs, viagra, cialis, etc. say that if you get an erection that lasts more than four hours you should call a doctor. I think I would call Hugh Hefner. Four hours? WOW!!!

And finally, the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Retract this!

I must print a retraction of a statement I made in an earlier blog. I said that my pal on the east coast had 40 years of government service. He quickly (maybe too quickly) pointed out that he had only 30 years of service. I would have sworn he told me he was approaching 70 years old and had 40 years in the government grind, but I guess he's only 60 years old with 30 years. I may have surmised his age and service after having seen some pictures of him. So Sorry!!

Does anybody give a damn about this Chuck and Camille deal? He's an adulterer and she's a fornicator. Together they are a royal pain in the ass. I guess now we'll have to live with weekly updates on the happy couple. Didn't we imigrate from Europe to avoid this kind of nonsense?

Is anybody out there fishing? I guess the only one, nation wide, is Carl. It is only a couple of weeks or so until it gets warm enough to go fishing here. I keep a full tank of gas in the car so I can shoot out at a moment's notice.

There is a lot of fog here in the valley. It will stay until the sun comes out for real.

What's with these mothers killing their babies? And then, they get off with no jail time, just go have your tubes tied and you're a good girl again. They should chuck their butts in prison for 200 years. Ah, the joys of ultra-liberal judges! They should all be fired.

While we're on the subject of justice, are you aware of the recent number of young female teachers who are laying some vitamin "P" on their male students? The female commentators are going nuts trying to convict the teachers. The male commentators are going along with it mostly because they don't want to subject themselves to the wrath of the females. Have you seen the teachers? They are knockouts. You know and I know that those male commentators are thinking the same thing you and I are thinking. "Those lucky little punks!! I'd boink her any day!!" If my son ever came home with a tale about boinking his teacher, the first thing I'd find out is which one. If it were one of those movie star quality ones, I would then find out her phone number. Then I would go have a heart to heart chat with her. Horizontally.

Aw, nuts!

The super bowl is now history. If you want to make some money next year, just find out what my picks are in the playoffs and the super bowl and bet the opposite. That's right, I didn't pick one single game right. If I were a gambler, I'd be dining on cat food now.

The North Koreans have finally admitted they have a nuke. If I were running the show, I'd nuke them completely away right now. If we don't they are going to cause us more grief than you can imagine. Just the thought of a maniac like Kim Il Sung running around with nukes makes my blood run cold. We should have mashed his ass when it would have been easy. This is where years of diplomacy get you. It is hard to understand why we continuously rely on diplomacy when we know that it doesn't work 90% of the time. Ross Perot had a great idea when he said that we should close all our embassies world wide and open trade consulates to promote American goods abroad. Oh, and fire all the diplomats. We should keep of couple of these dweebs on hand in case a special situation arises calling for weak kneed idiocy.

Well, the winter solstice has passed and we are well on our way to the vernal equinox. Spring will officially arrive on or about March 21. That is approximately the day that summer arrives in southern California. We seldom have spring. One week the average temperature will be 65. BOOO. The next week it will be 85 and climbing. YESSSSS!!!! Until then, we'll just have to suffer. I have a great deal of sympathy for those in the east who rapped on me about how much they enjoy cold weather and what a wooos I am to bitch about it. Are you guys happy now that you're covered in ice? HAHAHAHA

A really good friend of mine is preparing too retire from the U.S. government after 40 years of service. In our conversations he tries to convince me to remain active and in contact with my old agency. What he doesn't understand is that I had been forced to deal with those morons for over 20 years. I want total disengagement from them. I am still in touch with a couple of my coworkers. They are the only ones I give a rat's ass about. The rest of them can slide down the slippery slope and off over the edge. I'll shed not a tear. I only have so many ticks left on my ticker and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it blowing hot air at a gang of incompetent louts. Am I bitter? Hell yes!!

It should be warm enough too go fishing next month. I hope so. My family in Washington State keep trying to lure me into going north, but that isn't likely to happen before the middle of August. Summer occurs in Washington from August 15 to August 18. The fishing is really good there. Lakes and streams a re everywhere and they all have water in them and the water all has fish. Unlike southern California where most of the rivers are little dried out pathways and the lakes fluxuate up and down like a yoyo from flooded to damn near dry. Really.

Did I mention my displeasure over Ward Churchill, the idiot professor for the University of Colorado who compared the September 11 vicitms to Adolph Eichman? He says that they brought it on themselves. Expanding on his theory, if he pissed somebody off enough to shoot his worthlees ass, he would have effectively committed suicide. After all, it would be his fault the he enraged the perp.

Now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

SS

Now to discuss FDR's behemoth, Social Security. It needs to be modified. I am receiving SS disability right now, and I'm an old fart, so any changes that take place won't effect me unless I live to be 170. The president has put forth a proposal. I don't know if it is right or wrong, but I do know that the dumocraps have offered nothing at all except to say that the system isn't broke yet. I suppose that it is a much more comfy world with your head buried in the sand. Unfortunately, it does not help to solve the problem. The dems don't want to change anything about it because it is the bastard child of FDR. They worship him, almost as much as JFK. But even he said that eventually, it would have to be changed to accomodate at least some private ownership. President Bush has had the courage to take on this really tough problem. The stupid liberals believe that his proposal is to privatize the entire system. Nothing could be further from the truth. The changes he has proposed are voluntary. The liberals don't want to change because they see a little of the power they own slipping away. We will hear the same dumb-ass arguments when we try to modify the income tax, a truly totalitarian nightmare that has no place in a free society.

It was 65 degrees here today. That is still 10 degrees below my thermal cutoff point, but at least the sun was shining. Spring cannot be far away.

It looks like the Iraqis may have elected a mostly secular government. That is excellent, if true. I don't know if any of you have ever lived under a religious regime, but I have and I can tell you it intensely sucks. There is nothing wrong with having religious leaders. Having a church in charge is the worst. Read about the Spanish inquisition and you'll understand.

I guess no one is catching any fish, nation wide. I doubt if anyone is even fishing. Except Carl. I dream of the day when I can go duck hunting again. I'll need to have a good hunting buddy. I can't run down a dead duck, much less a live one. Maybe I'll buy a really good dog.

I hope the grandchildren can make it over here for spring break. My wife has a crying spell every time she thinks about them. Oh well.

Guess who

She didn't know what to do. She was stuck out in the sticks with no way out. Then by luck, she met a big time liar who had some money and a vision of leaving the hick town. So she latched on to him. He took her far away to the nation's capitol, where she was forced to ignore the many infidelities of her bum. She vowed she would become a force to be reckoned with. When Slick lost his job, she looked around for a nice cushy spot from which to build her power base. She knew that back home, she wouldn't stand a chance because they were already wise to her and Slick. She studied diligently and decided that Massachusetts, infamous for political morons, was the place to invade. But they already had an ample supply of neer-do-wells. She looked to the west, to California where people are dumber than rocks and found the job she wanted, but both positions were already filled with idiots.She studied the nation and decided that the only place that had an opening where the people were stupid enough to vote for her was New York. She knew she could get elected there because they had already elected a really stupid comrade in arms, we'll call CS. Can you guess who this is? One more hint, her and slick have left a trail of bodies and blood money in their wake for the last 50 years. Know who it is?

It is hard to believe the continuing stupidity displayed by Boxer, Pelosi and Kennedy. I didn't include the elf because he doesn't count for much. It is really pretty humoroous to watch this gang of nuts circle around each other and destroy themselves while they try their hardest to usurp President Bush. The problem here is that this country needs a 2 party system. If they don't mend their ways, the dumocraps will not be part of that system.

The days have been sunny. I can see that spring is about to burst forth. I can't wait until it gets warm. Right now, it is cold. It sucks.

Is anybody out there catching any fish? Is it too cold to go fishing where you are? It is here.

I finally broke down and bought Microsoft works suite. I was never really happy with that Lotus stuff. Works has "word" included in the package, so now some of my pals will actually be able to decode my attachments without performing circus-like manuevers.

Super Bowl in 3 days. Hohum.

WRONG!!!!!!!!

Is any body surprised that Kerry (the poodle) and Kennedy (the swimmer) are now ready to cut and run over the Iraqi election? I think this points to a basic character flaw in both of these political cowards. The worst possible thing we could do at this point is to bring our troops home before Iraq is stabilized. It is just one more way that shows the liberals are willing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. As time marches on, the far left is commiting political suicide. Kennedy has already shot his big mouth off and is becoming irrelevant. Same goes for Kerry and Clinton. A basket full of losers. The Iraqi election was a huge success. The liberals are pissed. They were counting on absolute failure. Without the pictures of Iraqis waiting in long lines and dancing in the streets, you can bet that the liberal media would have declared the election a flop. How have we let so many anti-americans gain so much power? I think it is time to take the power from them. No, I don't know how. Why don't you guys dream up some super duper plan?

Hillary (the liar) Clinton collapsed at a speech she was giving today. Unfortunately, she is expected to make a full recovery. The dumocraps can't really be serious about running her for president. Of course, they have picked lame horses before and paid the price.

My buddies down in Georgia got buried under and ice storm. It must have been terrible for them. The power went down and stayed down for some of them for a couple of days. I wonder if it killed the peach crop. Or the Vidalia onion crop. BOOOO

The days are now getting longer little by little. In another month and a half, it may be warm enough to go outside.

And now for the Delano weather report. It sucks.

Charging into super bowl weekend this year is like being in a large mudslide. You slip down the slope and at the bottom, more mud. What little interest I have in this affair is directed at the Eagles. I hope they win. We'll see.

gas bags fail again

Despite the best efforts of Barbara (the check bouncer) Boxer and Ted (dick 'em and dunk 'em) Kennedy, Rice has been sworn in as Secretary of State. Time will tell if she was worth the effort. One thing you can be sure of is that the gas bag duo will be back with even more idiotic proposals in the near future.

We are on the eve of the Iraqi elections. The hopes of most people in the U.S. is that they will succeed so we can bring our troops home. Unfortunately, there are a few far left morons who would love to see these elections fail.(see paragraph above) I suspect that these kinds of assholes cheer a little inside at every casualty report. What a low-life bunch of Marxist jerks.

I just read a book by Ann Coulter called "Treason". It describes in detail the lengths to which liberals will go to undermine our nation. Coulter is one of the few women who have something to say worth listening to. She is an admitted right winger. She has written several books about the failures of the liberal crowd in America. Some of her stuff is scary, but all of it is true.

We are also on the eve of the super bowl. Somehow, I just can't get excited about watching Philly play Boston. Maybe next year will bring back that old, good feeling.

Oh, I almost forgot the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Still there

One of the guys who did the Philippine tour wrote to tell me that the famous (or infamous) Fire Empire is still in operation after 35 years. For those unfortunate enough to have not been there, The Fire Empire was one of those joints in Angeles City where everything was for sale and the price was always negotiable. We had some really good times there. One guy accused me of being drunk or trying to get drunk for a whole year. That is simply not true. I was drunk or trying to get drunk for almost 20 years on four continents. Of course my memory is a little hazy. As I said, I have selective amnesia about the not so good parts and that's the way I want it.

I hope that you guys back east who chided me for whining about the weather are happy now that you are buried under 8 feet of snow and the temperature has plummeted down to -20. Let me just say, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I assume that this is the way you like it. Get out there and shovel that crap. Slither around on it. Ball it up and throw it. The ways to display winter idiocy are endless.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Each day gets us closer to the time when we can go fishing, I can't wait. We'll try it first up by San Simeon beach. Several years ago my #1 grandson and I were invited to go fishing on Vandenburg AFB. We caught a whole bunch of surf perch. My grandson caught the largest one. It was great. Hopefully, I'll have similar tales to tell later in the year. Do I plan on boring you with stories of our exploits? Hell yes!

I can't believe that the Steelers also got their asses whipped by the Patriots. Our only hope now is the Eagles. I'm not a big Philly fan, but they're better than New England. As a consolation, I can be happy that the Cowboys lost, lost, lost. Wait til next year.

I'll what?

I am really tired of recieving e-mail that tells me I'll grow a tail if I don't forward it to everyone I know. In fact, I'm so tired of it, instead of filing it or sending it on, from now on, I'll just delete it. I know this won't stop it, but at least I won't saddle everyone I know with the possibility of being declared personna non grata in heaven.

Several people I have conversed with insist on sprinkling their conversation with the phrase, "you understand what I'm saying?" The answer is, if you are speaking english, even in some muttering, low dialectic muddle, I understand. It pisses me off to have people ask me that. Where did we ever get the idea that someone we're talking to wouldn't understand what we're saying? Ludicrous!!

One of the answers to my last blog said that I was living in the past and that all ther girls and all the bars I used to haunt are gone. That is the sad truth. However, I have chosen to live in the past for the most part. It was much more exciting than what passes for living now. My memories of 1968 are much more vivid than my memories of yesterday and a hell of a lot more pleasant. Am I foolish? Am I approaching senitlity? Well, yes!! So what?

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Only 2 1/2 months to summer. I swear this year, I'm going to the coast for some surf fishing. My grandchildren will be here when school is out. I plan to have already been by then.

Sadly, football season is almost gone. Only 2 more game weekends. Booooo. That means I won't have anything to do until Fishing starts except learn new tricks with my yoyo. Oh well.

Boo Hoo

Yes, I've been sulking for 2 days over the loss of the Colts to the wretched Patriots. What a debacle. I couldn't believe that the highest powered offense in NFL history could only score a paultry 3 points. Once again, if I were a betting man, I'd be living in a cardboard box by now.

One point of consolation is that the idiot who has been trying to keep the Bible out of the Presidential inauguration ceremony has lost his suit. Why doesn't someone have a real, hard heart to heart chat with that asshole? He is slowly but surely becoming the most hated man in the United States. I wonder how long this atheist moron will last?

Well, the weather honeymoon is over for the east. A buddy of mine in Maryland says it was a balmy 15 degrees today. HAHAHAHAHA. It was cool here today. About 60 degrees. It actually snowed in the L.A. mountains to the south of us. Anytime it snows between me and the equator, I am too far north. I keep thinking about Guam. I could stand an occassional typhoon if I didn't have to endure the cold.

So they have given up on the search for WMDs in Iraq. Ho Hum. All that means is that the Iraqis managed to get them over the border into Syria before they got their nuts knocked off. Anybody who thinks we would be better off with Sadam still at the controls is in urgent need of mental assistance. This war does another good thing in serving notice to the other miserable little weasel governments that the free ride is over. At least until another liberal becomes President. Then, it'll be right back to taking all their BS once again. I have long thought that it would be good policy to bitch-slap those would tweak our nose and cut off those who take our aid money and then spit on us. This is a tough world and it's time to get tough or die.

As I cruised majestically around the web, I found some really great property in the Philippines for very little money. Since the northern part of the Philippines is only 15 degrees north, it never gets cold there. I think that retirement living should be spent between the tropic of cancer and the tropic of capricorn. As long as you avoid the middle east, you'll be all right.

My grand daughter's second birthday comes up on the thirtieth of January. My oldest grandson is in high school. How the hell did all this happen so fast? It seems like only yesterday I was prowling the streets of Angeles City. In some ways, I still feel like I'm 25 with lots of pep and vigor. A brief look in the mirror reveals the sad truth. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that its never coming back. Oh well

The people's court?

Well, the courts have done it again.. They have said that the federal sentencing guidelines for federal judges are NOT mandatory. That means that our left wing, limp dick federal judges can go back to handing out very light or NO sentences to federal criminals. The judges were originally handed this legislation when they were famous (or infamous) for lightly sentencing violent criminals in the vain hope that they could be "rehabilitated." Since congress enacted the federal guidelines, violent federal crime is down 54%. You can look for a large increase in federal crime in the near future if congress doesn't once again slap the judiciary down. Write to your congressman or senator or both. Let them know that we need tough penalties for these madmen and we have no confidence in our judges to impose them.

I can't believe it!! The left wing crazies are blaming George Bush for the tsunami. Remember last fall when they blamed him for the hurricanes? Remember the marine who went nuts and killed one cop and wounded another before being shot to death himself? That's right, the liberal idiots are blaming that on the President, too. One good thing that has happened on the federal scene is that, despite the best efforts of Barbara (the check bouncer) Boxer, senator from the communist state of California, George W. Bush was confirmed as having won the election and will be sworn in. What is the matter with these nuts? HEY NUTS....GET OVER IT!!!!! It won't be too long before the marxist morons are blaming the California mudslides on Bush. Look for it on a newscast coming soon.

Speaking of mudslides and such, the California coast has been hit hard by heavy rains. They have evacuated about 850 families that live downstream from one of the dams because they are afraid the dam will break and kill everyone. It could happen. The saddest part of these mudslides is that the fools whose homes have been destroyed, whose families have been killed or injured will spend the next year or so building right back where they were wiped out. Some people have asked, "how stupid can they get?" The answer is, we don't know 'cause we can't test them to full capacity.

Oh yeah, the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Soon, the worst time of the year will be upon us. Football season will be over. What will we do? Where will we go? They should start another football league that starts right now and winds up at the start of the NFL season. Sure, it would make some housewives mad, but so what? They don't buy the beer that fuels the ads that make the football machine run. I assume that all of you know that the proof that God loves us and wants us to happy is BEER.

No fishing report. Most of the nation, including the guys who live way, way inland could fish off their back porches if they weren't busy trying to save their butts. We hope this summer will be a lot better. Remember, it is your job to hunt down a global warming advocate and punch him/her in the nose.

Happy hunting!!!

ewwww

Rain continues here in the valley of tears. It is intermitantly windy (up to 40mph). Slowly, the icy cold winter is creeping in. Most of the rest of the country is in worse shape than we are. Lots of that wretched white crap, blizzards,eww, icky!

If I had megabucks, I could solve the problem with hackers and spammers. I could hire my own army of hackers to track these sleaze-bags down. Once they were located, my army of goons would move in and take physical retribution. World-wide. I'll bet it wouldn't take more than 5 or 6 broken arms and legs until the "fun" of hacking was lost in a haze of fear. The courts could make it harder on the hackers they manage to catch by exacting harsh penalties upon them. For hackers, 1 year in jail for every $100k in damages they cause should make them more responsible citizens. I don't think there is anything legal that can be done to spammers. However, it may be possible to exact some retribution upon them privately. My army of hackers could destroy their bank accounts. Cancel their credit cards. Make them understand that spam is not appreciated.

The Colts won...yeeaaah. The Packers lost....booooo. Peyton Manning is, indeed, superman. This may be the year that the Patriots get their butts handed to them. I hope so.

Well, you guys get out there and whip a global-warming nut.

Again?

Yes, once again, the Clintons find themselves with their tits in a crack. It seems that Hillary (you remember "I don't remember") Hillary finds that once again she must display political amnesia. It seems that her 2000 senate campaign fund raising was as crooked as her dealings in Arkansas. How will she escape? Well, if there is any justice in this world, she won't, but knowing the Clintons' skill at dancing the Washington dance, she probably won't get any on her, even though there is an eye witness to the whole lurid affair. If I were that witness, I would immediately hire an army of bodyguards because people who testify or are going to testify against the Clintons have a habit of going tits up. The only good thing to come out of this is that it has a good chance of destroying her chance ot run for president. Can you imagine that herd of felons back in the White House? Already the liberals are trying to apply gauze to the wound. Already, the conservatives are trying to apply salt. I personally hope salt wins.

14 inches of snow in Sequim, Washington, an area known for its mild weather. The weather forecasts say it that the temperature will drop down to 27 in Bakersfield by Wednesday. You owe it to God and country to smack a "global warming" advocate up side the head.

The death toll in the Indonesian tsunami continues to climb. I suspect that we have only experienced about half of the fatalities that will eventually be accounted to this disaster. It is hard to grasp the scope of this event. Military people who have been to wars say that this is the worst devastation they have ever seen.

My Seahawks lost to the wretched Rams. My Chargers lost to the lowly Jets. I hope that the rest of the playoffs go better for my favorite teams.

Very little going on in the way of fishing. We're still waiting for spring so we can go get 'em. It is, at least, time to purchase new licenses. Of course, the communist state of California applies maximum pressure to your wallet every year for the priviledge of fishing the mostly barren waters of this miserable state. Oh well.

Sad, sad

It is a very sad day for our family. Last night at about 8 PM, my uncle, Adrian Minor died after a protracted illness. Ade was one of those guys that everybody liked. He was friendly and funny and always had a good word. Just a few years ago, he was a major presence in the construction industry in Washington State. He is survived by his two remaining sisters his wife, Dolores, and a flock of nieces and nephews. His demise leaves a giant hole in our family. He will be sorely missed.

El Crapo!!!

Rats!! My Sooners got their asses kicked hard by USC. It was like Oklahoma forget to show up. That's two years in a row that the Okies have been blown out in the title game. gaaaaahhhhh

As many of you know from my e-mails, the criminal George Soros (pardoned by Slick Willy) is attempting to overthrow the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution. He is trying to do it through the United Nations (another gang of crooks) by introducing a gun ban bill that would make it illegal for private citizens anywhere on earth to own a gun. Regardless of your stance on gun control, we, as a country, cannot allow foreign idiots to dictate our internal laws. We have enough anti-gun morons in this country. We don't need to import any.

Speaking of the United Nations, isn't it about time for us to withdraw? We take all the B.S. and pay most of the bills. This organization has proven, time after time, that they are at best incompetent and at worst criminal. The thing is loaded with spies and espionage agents. They are an expense we can no longer afford. I don't care if Kofi Anon is chief or not as long as we are not in it and it is not on our shores.

Finally, my weather report. It sucks.

Gone!

Well, here I sit at 11 minutes past 2004 wondering what this next year will bring. I have found that it is impossible to predict future events, Nostrodamus notwithstanding. All you can really do is hope that something good will happen and pray that nothing bad will happen. All I can do is hope that I hit the 48 million dollar lottery and pray that I'll live long enough to waste most of it.

As I sit here, I can hear lots of gunfire as the locals celebrate the new year. My first thought was, "what stupidity!" But then I thought back over some of my own past new years and I realize that a little gunfire is fairly mild when compared to some of the utter idiocy I have perpetrated from time to time. For instance, firing a gun in the air cannot compare to the lunacy of attempting to chug a fifth of bourbon. (failed, passed out) Nor does it compare to going into a Mexican bar and challenging the occupants to a brawl. (didn't win) Or the time several of my mentally challenged friends and I decided to swim frrom the Philippines to Thailand. (impossible feat. lucky we didn't drown) So let 'em shoot. It doesn't bother me.

I can't believe that the weather here is better than in most of the country. That doesn't mean it's good. It means that we are slightly less miserable than we would be somewhere else.

If any of you are running AOL IM, my screen name is:

hismajestyed

Does that sound egotistical? I hope so. bye

At last

Christmas has come and gone at last. Now, we have new years looming in the near future. Then Valentines day, Easter, blah, blah blah. Endless holidays designed to perform several wallet-dectomies on you. Mugged by Santa. Robbed by sweethearts. Even the rabbit gets in his punches. It's a wonder that there are any men left standing by the Fourth of July. At least these interludes of thievery bring an occasional good meal. I remember with fuzzy fondness the good old days when I was traveling overseas and could basically ignore all these holidays. Now I'm trapped, just like the rest of you chumps, here in the land of plenty o' gimmee.

Only a couple of months until spring. I can't wait. I must apologize to you weather fans. I only thought it was cold here. It was 4 below in Mexico last night. The daytime temp here is around 60. I still get to watch the weather channel and laugh my ass off.

Unbelievable disaster in southeast Asia. Phu Ket was one of my favorite spots on earth. Now its destroyed. They say it may take 10 years to recover and rebuild. The videos of the calamity are horrendous.

No fishing yet. My spies back east say that they'll have an excellent trout season if they don't get frozen out. What's the deal with skiing? How could anyone want to go out in sub-zero weather just to slither down an ice covered mountain on two boards? Pure idiocy!

Holiday Cheer

First, I want to wish my fellow bloggers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Christmas has always been and always will be a special time when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Some secularists, who do not believe in the Lord, have been trying with all their might to destroy Christmas and pretend it is a "winter break" or some such nonsense. If you encounter one of these immoral individuals, remember, they are on the slippery slope. If they continue their goddless ways, they have no hope. In the meanwhile, the rest of us will celebrate our Holy Day in the honored and traditional manner.

I will assume that some of you are now forced to agree with me that the weather definitely sucks. It has been painfully cold in most of the nation. Even the southland has been turned into a deep freeze. The situation here is better than most of the country. The next time you see one of those global warming nuts, punch him in the suck. Tell him Bassbelly told you to do it.

We are at the apex of the citrus season. My spies bring me bags of oranges, grapefruits, lemons and tangerines. We are eternally grateful for each and every bag of fruit. Thanks, guys and girls!!

I get no fishing reports from anywhere now. The deep freeze has brought that to a halt. When I was younger and a lot dumber, I would wait for this kind of weather to go goose hunting because all the wimps stayed home. I am afraid I have now joined the ranks of the wimps.

If you pray, say a little prayer for our troops fighting overseas. We are free because of them.