Assorted nuts

Another criminal maniac has gone off the deep end, killed two people and raped a teenage girl. This is a guy they had in jail and released early. I believe that jail for all these guys is a colossal waste of time and money. When they get one of these nuts, they should just go ahead and shoot the criminal asshole. It really doesn't matter if they are mentally competent or not. The insanity plea should be struck from the books. The only way to cure career criminals is with a 38 caliber pill. It can't be as costly as they claim it is to string one of these morons up. The thing that costs the money is the years and years full of appeals and paying appeals shysters to try to skirt the law and get these animals off with a lighter sentence or a new trial. There should be a brief trial followed by maybe one appeal and then, BANG!!! Murderers and child rapists shoould get the same treatment. Stop dicking around with these monsters. Plant 'em and forget 'em.

At last, after years of ignoring the southern border, the army is being deployed to the area. The Mexican government is displeased, but so what? They couldn't possibly hurt us any more than they already have by encouraging illegal immigration. I think the best solution to the Mexican problem is to attack Mexico, colonize it, declare martial law and totally destroy the immigration problem. It is obvious that the Mexican government has no idea about providing jobs for their people. A few U.S. firms, you know, the ones the hippies hate, could start farming and manufacturing in what is now Mexico. We could arrest all the federalies and politicians, assuming they are all guilty of something. Let the military courts sort 'em out. In a decade or two, we would have a lot better grip on the transient problem. However, as long as the current situation prevails, anyone caught illegally entering the United States should be treated as a federal felon, jailed and prosecuted. Since deporting them seems to do no good, prison camps in the desert seems to be a great solution.

Tiger strikes again!! Yes folks, just as the anti-Woods clowns were trying to proclaim him a thing of the past, El Tigre has risen to capture his fourth green jacket at Augusta. Now that he seems to have his swing back, the rest of the PGA must once again watch it. I predict he'll leave a bright burning trail through the rest of the golf season.

And now, your new recipe isPlanked carp.
Catch a carp
Strap it to a cedar plank and roast over open fire.
Remove from heat
Throw carp away, eat plank.

I am hopeful that it will continue to warm up. We had one day of spring about a week ago. Then, winter set in again. Now it is warming up slowly. If you get a chance to talk to one of those 'global warming' buffoons, punch him in the suck. I had actually turned my funace off, when suddenly, I was freezing my kabip off. Had to turn it back on. boooo. The Delano weather still sucks.

It's still there!!

Yes, lurking in the shadow of the death of the Pope and the Schiavo spectacle, the Michael Jackson case is resurrected. It did not go away as we all hoped. Now the media morons will fill our already over flowing cups with more of the adventures of MJ. Really, we don't need 24/7 coverage of this weirdo case.

In response to reader comments, I am starting my one recipe per blog attraction. Soon, it will become a beloved tradition and I'm sure it will help some of you lesser adept cooks. The first recipe is for southern fried fish:
1. Go to Alabama
2. Get a fish
3. Fry it
4. Eat it
A recipe this simple should be easy for even the most inept cook to follow.

Also, in response to reader comments: Anchovies still suck. Always have, always will. I would rather eat skunk asses fried in kerosene than an anchovy.

It has finally gotten back up to 80 degrees here. It's almost warm enough to go fishing. In another week or two I'll give it a try. I may have to go fish in the ditch out by Alpaugh for white bass. Some have told me that they have made a recovery after having been poisoned out by the idiot fish and game commission. We used to catch them by the buckets full out there. We'll see.

My tomatoes have been planted!! This year, they have a chance of surviving because I didn't even touch them. My sweet little wife planted them. I didn't even supervise. Time will tell.

Now that the winter clouds are fading, we can observe large, very fast objects in the sky headed for the coast. Nellis, Edwards and Area 51 are not very far from here by air. I expect an announcement of some super-plane later this summer. Of course, I could be wrong. I was wrong once before back in 1978 when I thought I was wrong and I wasn't.

screwed again!!

Once again I must apologize. When I wrote the blog on food, I was unaware that I needed a PhD from the Culinary Institute of America to decide what's good and what's not. I was under the mistaken impression that 65 years of tasting various treats from around the world would automatically qualify me to judge assorted foods. I was also unawaare that I didn't have enough expertise to comment on cooking shows. Hell, I like cooking shows. I watch them all the time. Some of the favorite ingredients of the TV chefs leave me with a gag reflex in progress. I guess I'm just unsophisticated. One more thing, if you bring me a pizza with those foul little fish on it, it will immediately become wearing apparel for the provider. Sorry, that's the way it is.

Well, Schiavo croaked and immediately, the Pope's health declined. Now, all those media idiots have to leave Florida and go to Italy. Like the Schiavo case, they will cover this one 24/7 until we have had more than enough. Kind of makes me wonder what the next super duper event will be.

Boy, those people in southeast Asia are really catching hell. First the major tsunami and now a big, big earthquake. That is one of my most favorite areas in the world and now it is mostly destroyed. BOOOO.

Temp in Delano today was 79. No clouds. No wind. Summer is coming!!! At last.

What's cookin'?

Now for a few thousand well chosen words about the culinary arts. First, let me list the things in the food world that we can easily do without:
1. Garlic. This foul weed seems to find its way into everything we cook and everything we order at restaurants. It smells bad. It tastes bad. It makes you smell bad. On the other hand, it is an excellent birth control device.
2. Anchovies. While I really like most fish, the anchovy doesn't really seem to be a fish. It is more like some vermin from the sea. A water-borne cockroach. Anchovies taste like a big scoop of dirt. TV chefs think these wretched little beasts are wonderful. They are wrong. The only use I have ever found for anchovies is as bait.
3. "Al Dente". My ancestors spent numerous generations learning to cook food so it is done. Al dente is not done. It is under cooked. If I want to chew something crunchy, I'll eat an apple. You may COOK my pasta, please.
4. Complex recipes. These recipes are presented to us as something the home cook can easily accomplish. LIES!!! Most of them are multi-ingredient masterpieces that require exotic fruits and/or vegetables and meats that can only be obtained on safari. Some ingredients are not now, never have been, and never will be available to the general public. These recipes describe techniques and equipment found only in 5 star restaurants. Preparations times vary between 5 hours and 5 days. Who has the time?
5. Strange foreign words. Most TV chefs deem it necessary to use phrases and descriptions that are totally foreign to 99% of the American people. We can't tell what the hell they're talking about. I am sure that they could use plain english in their descriptive presentations. Like lawyers, they seem to be unable to speak clearly in understandable english.
6. How many of you guys have 5 ovens, 6 cook tops, a grill, a buit-in deep fryer, a broiler and 50 square feet of counter space. None of you? Gee, I'm shocked. You probably don't have $5000 worth of pots and pans either.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Last time!!!

I promise, this is the last time I will mention the plight of Schiavo. In my last blog, I said that they should just let her croak. Bill O'Reilly had a much better idea. He said that the husband should withdraw his suit, make a public statement that he had done his best to fulfill her wishes, but now was willing to turn guardianship over to her parents. This would solve several problems. First, and most important, it would dry up the media coverage because if there is no controversy, there is no story. Second, it would relieve Mr. Schiavo of the financial burden for her recovery. It would also remove the state's responsibility for her hospital bills. The parents could finance them from donations. Third, it couldn't hurt anything. She would continue to live. She is not in pain so there would be no harm done. All this would work unless Mr. Schiavo has some nefarious reason not to let it go. The only good thing about this whole sordid affair is that we haven't heard about Michael Jackson or Scott Peterson for a week.

I must apologize! I guess I was being much too subtle when I expressed my views on illegal, criminal aliens in our country. Allow me to provide some detail. The first act of an illegal is to commit a federal felony by crossing the border illegally. If they are caught, they should be immediately deported. The U.S. Army should be assigned to patrol our southern border. They should be given permission to shoot to kill if they detect invaders. All illegals found hiding in this country should be rounded up, loaded on barges and shipped to southern Mexico with a warning that to return is to die. The Mexican government should have heavy sanctions levied against it for providing aid to the invaders. The drug laden, disease infected criminals must not be allowed to invade our country. Any criminal foreigners in our jails should be shipped directly to President Fox. How much longer are we going to stand for this crap? Are you aware that there is a movement among Mexicans living in our country to take back the southwestern states? I'm all for legal imigration. I know many people who waited and waited for visas to enter this country legally. It is an insult to legal imigrants to allow the criminal invaders to live here. NO AMNESTY!!!!! Well, I hope this clears up any misunderstanding or questions you may have had on my stance on criminal invaders.

A really good friend of mine on the east coast is retiring at the end of the month. I am sure he will be a lot happier out of work than he ever was while he was working. Retirement is great, but the "golden years" suck.

I can finally hobble around the hoouse. It has been almost a week since I blew out my foot. I've been confined to quarters until today. It is hard to believe how much we depend on two good legs. My wife, busy little bee that she is, whipped right out last Sunday and got me some crutches. I damned near killed myself trying to learn how to operate the things. Never was successful. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Benefits

As much as I dislike this miserable valley, it does have some good features. For example, this morning one of my wife's little friends dropped off a huge bag of oranges and tangerines. These are not the kind you find in the stores in the north. The oranges are as big as grapefuits and the tangerines are as big as oranges. They came out of the fields this morning, so you just know they are sweet and juicy. A little later in the year, we will receive boxes and baskets of grapes.
We get grapes here in some varieties unknown to people outside this valley. So, I guess there are some compensations for living in this fishless place.

The mindless media, as usual, has gone completely berserk with their coverage of the Brian Nichols affair. While it is to be admitted that he is a very violent criminal, devoid of any traits that make him worth rehabilitating and knowing that he deserves to die as soon as possible, the media will not admit that the rest of the world did not stop turning as soon as this murdering idiot pulled the trigger. They have covered him 24/7. GIMMEE A BREAK!!!
You have probably noticed that Scott Peterson, another convicted murderer, is back in the news. The media wants you to believe that there are new developements in his case. The real reason, as predicted by this humble author, is that his new book has come out. How the hell can the prison system allow such atrocities? The entire United States prison system should take lessons from the sheriff in Arizona. His prisoners get no TV, no weight room, no library. They get to sleep in tents, winter and summer. They don't get really good food and he makes the men wear pink! That's my kind of law enforcement. There are almost NO returnees to his jail. Gee, I wonder why?

Now the wretches in the "human rights" organizations are starting to whine because, apparently, the number of prisoners at gitmo is dwindling. They fear that the U.S. is turning these low-lifes over to other governments for more thorough questioning. They know, and have known all along, that we treat our prisoners better than anyone in the world. They also know that if the Pakistanis or the Saudis get their hands on them, they will squeal like pigs. It's their own damned fault. They shouldn't have raised so much hell with the military. They shouldn't have tried to get them protection just like US citizens. I have no sympathy for the prisoners. The only thing I can says to the human rights advocates is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again the communist ACLU has shot themselves in the foot. I wish they would shoot themselves a little higher up. Say, just above the neck.

Now that summer is approaching, the moronic children with their obnoxious ghetto blasters are starting to creep out from under their rocks and back out onto the street. The usual motif is a nice looking truck or car with a 5,000 watt stereo system playing at full volume. Here's a little stock tip. Buy hearing aid company stocks. All of these stupid little jerks will need auditory assistance soon. Oh, what I'd give for an RPG!!!

It has cooled off today. Once again the temperature has plummeted to less than 70 degrees. BOOOO!! No fishing yet. BOOOO!! Once again, the weather here sucks.

80 degrees!

At last the temperature has hit eighty degrees. It is almost warm enough to think about fishing, swimming and other sports for the mentally sound. If the weather holds like this or starts another upward climb, I should be fishing in a week or two. Note that while I was whining about the lousy weather, I never said I couldn't take it. I used to romp in that foul white crap, hunt in it, fish in it and drive in it. Then, I matured. I now am fully aware that so-called "winter sports" are really just a way for those trapped in the deep throws of ice and snow to compensate for their utter misery. They seem to be disturbed by the fact that some of us were smart enough to move out of those latitudes, while they were not. Over the long, frozen years, their brains have become defective from being iced down 90% of the time. They have my heartfelt sympathy and I hope they will accept my condolences.

I'll admit that wretched California is the home of west coast communism, but it is no worse than Massachusetts or New York. Those who are trapped in the asphalt jungles of the east have no real idea about mountains, plains and unending coast lines unless they have been fortunate enough to visit the west. Not California, but Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be westerners, believe that the entire east coast from Boston to Norfolk is covered in concrete and asphalt. It is loaded with crooks, criminals and communists. It is rife with corporate scum who embezzle the nations money. Several of my best friends are stuck in this horrible beehive. Since they know nothing else, they are probably trapped for good.

Once again, I am in the preliminary stages of planning a cross country tour. I hope I have better luck this year than in years past. Every time I try to go, I am stopped by physical BS. Ah, to be twenty again!! I don't care what AARP says, the "golden years" suck.

This is the month I pay off my computer. I mention this because microsoft has announced their new windows system "longbow". I am wondering if we can just upgrade to it or will we have to buy a whole new platform. Also, my pool crawler is on its last legs. It has lasted 9 years and beeen repaired many, many times. My pool service informs me that the next time it breaks, there will be nothing left to repair. I examined the device and found they are right. New ones are big bucks. I hope the taxman is good to me. Oh well.

Operation a success!!

Did you notice? A major cancer has been removed from the American news scene. Little Danny Blather, after years of stupidity in broadcast journalism, has been removed from the tumerous CBS channels. Many of us have prayed for this for years. He was a hard case liberal who stood slightly to the left of Karl Marx. I think he dragged the entire news industry downward toward liberalism. My only regret in this whole sordid episode is that I am writing a farewell instead of an epitaph.

The weather continues to grow warmer by the day. And now a word for those of you who back east who accused me of being a puss for whining about the weather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you enjoying those 5 foot snow drifts? Got icicle?
It was 77 here today in bright sunshine. My latest source of amusment on TV is the weather channel. It provides hours and hours of laughs.

Are you guys sick of Michael Jackson? I am. Every minute of every day on every news channel, we are force-fed the king of pop. It resembles the OJ trial. I immediately switch to another channel when the Jackson trial comes on. What a bore!!

My buddy Carl isn't fishing. He says the fishing at this time of year in Carolina sucks. Every time he calls, he wants to know if I've been to the ditch (aquaduct) to fish for stripers. Saddly, I haven't. I'll bet the fishing is good in Washington. Trout season is about to start. Wish I was there. If someone out there is catching any fish, let me know.

I guess the grandchildren won't be coming for spring break. Damned shame. Well, there is always this summer. At least that is something to look forward to.

Luckily, we got some fish and crabs from some friends up at Kodiak. Those crab legs sure were good. yum

At Last

Warmer weather is almost here! It got up to 75 today, which is my thermal cutoff point. I was able to leave the outside door to the bedroom open all day and got it aired out. 2 days from now, it will be 80. 2 weeks from now, it'll be 90. Summer is upon us!!

Teddy "boy" Kennedy, you know, the murdering rummy from Mass., is back in the news making stupid statements about the President and the present administration. He called them Hitlers. What a moron. It is a real mystery to me why the people of Massachusetts contiue to elect this idiot. It seems to me that he shouldn't be running around loose making dumb-ass remarks about other politicians. He should be in jail. Along with Bill and Hillary. All crooks. I guess those Bostonians are as stupid as I always thought they were.

Social Security was nice enough to raise our medicare premiums just enough to wipe out our cost of living increase. We therefore netted a big el goose-o eggo. I'm really worn out with politicians. It seems the only time our wallets are not in danger of recieving a cashectomy is when congress is not in session.

Its still a little chilly for fishing, but the time is fast approaching. I can almost taste those fresh surf perch. I hope I find a good spot so I can take my grandchildren there this summer. No word from Carl, my east coast fishing buddy on how is doing fishing. When he's quiet, its no good.

Now for the Delano weather report: It still sucks, but not as bad as it used to. Oh well.

the food chain

I just knew there had to be a lower form of life in this country than Michael Moore!! There is. It's name is Michael Newdow. He is the sleazy, ambulance chasing, egotistical, anti-American dick head who is filing all these suits in federal court to completely secularize America. This idiot is more dangerous than Osama Ben Laden. Why? Well OBL took down a couple of buidlings and killed a bunch of people. Buildings can be replaced. Newdow is tearing at the very heart of American society. He is attempting to undermine 200 years of history with his inane rhetoric about God in government. He claims to be all for the Constitution, yet he attempts to destroy it. Already having been turned down by the Supreme Court, he is now filing lawsuits in all 13 district courts. Does he have a chance? No, except for the ninth circuit court here in California. They are a group known for their extreme liberalism and anti-American rulings. They are also trying to dismantle the American way of life, so they should get along rather well with Newdow. What can be done about this maniac? Well, very little that's legal. I guess someone with a lot of bucks could start filing lawsuits against him for depriving the rest of us of our right to our heritage. If I were younger, I might take some more direct action, but those days are long gone. Another thing we can do is to support the organizations that are fighting him in the courts. Just punch "newdow" into your browser.

It finally stopped raining. There is a lot of fog and it is still cold, but at least it rains no more. The pool was 1 inch from overflow when it quit. The weather sucks.

I don't think anybody but Carl is fishing yet. It shouldn't be too long until we see some major improvement in the weather. Then, its off to the coast. I can't wait.

Another little girl in Florida is missing from her home over night. While I am not a big advocate of vigilanteism, I think they only way to stop these guys is for the people to find them, take them to a secluded spot and do really terrible things to them. Then lynch 'em. The courts are much too slow and the punishment much too mild for these sickos. Am I suggesting that we, the people, should take these matters into our own hands? Hell yes!!

Once again, this year, I am going to attempt to grow tomatoes. My past experiences in this endeavour have been abject failures. Sometimes, I even measure the pH of the soil. It doesn't seem to matter. Tomato plants left in my care are invariably doomed. I will, however, give it another shot. Because I am obstinate and hard-headed, that's why. My wife can grow anything. She doesn't seem to follow any scientific formula. She just puts the seeds in the ground and raises beautiful fruits, vegetables and flowers. She's kind of like Johnny Appleseed. She goes to the garden and flicks seeds and other mysterious items in what looks like a random pattern. She gets acres of healthy plants. When I try it, I get acres of garbage.

I am still hoping that my grandchildren will visit at spring break. We seem to have acquired a step-grandson to go along with the rest of the herd. I think it is great!! I can hardly wait to see the entire menagerie.

Have you ever been late on a payment and then get a phone call from some foreign sounding chump? Well they sound that way because the are foreigners. Most of them are in India. I refuse to discuss my finances with anybody overseas. Especially foreigners. If you want to bug me, use Americans, in America. Try to insure that they speak english. Some don't. Oh well.

What did he say?

As predicted, the buffoon, Howard Dean, is dragging his party right down the slippery slope by making racial slurs, promoting bigotry and perpetrating other items of idiocy. As head of the DNC, he was the almost unanimous choice for that position by the Republicans. The Republicans want to watch him as he slowly but surely scuttles the dumocrap boat. I guess we may have finally answered that question; How stupid can they get?

Here's a list of things I don't give a rats ass about:
1. Scott Peterson
2. School boys receiving vitamin "P" from their female teachers
3. Chuck and Camille
4. Al Franken
5. The left wing, pinko Hollywood crowd
6. Michael Jackson
7. Mr. John Heinz, you know, the guy who ran for president last time and lost
8. Steroids
9. Hockey
10. Major league baseball
Of course, the list could be a lot longer, but these are the things I am really tired of hearing about. Does anybody out there give a big quack quack about any of them? Why?

Martha Stewart will be out of jail soon. Didn't you feel a lot safer when she was behind bars?Does she have to register as a kitchen utensil violator? How about as a serial cookie baker? The people who prosecuted her will eventually get what's coming to them. If they did this to teach everyone a lesson, the lesson they taught was; don't talk to the cops without a lawyer. I know I never will again.

It has rained more here in the last week than in the previous ten years. Everything is soaked. The pool is almost at flood stage. What a mess. The weather here sucks.

Shot

It looks like the dumocraps have finally blown themselves out of seriouis political consideration. As usual, they demonstrated their total ineptitude as marksmen. This time, they took dead aim at their foot and shot themselves squarely in the ass. Howard Dean???? You remember him. The amazing exploding politician. Went completely berserk in Iowa last year. Now he's head of the dnc. Look at the all-star cast behind him: Kennedy, Schumer, Feinstein, Boxer, Clinton and numerous other far left idiots. I wonder if they are too stupid too realize that they have now relegated themselves to what will probably be a big, fat #3 position nationally. The only question is, who will step into the #2 slot? My guess is that it will be the libertarians. At least the libertarians offer a viable alternative. The dumocraps have now scuttled their rusty old bucket. It is sinking fast. hahahahaha Maybe now we can get some reasonable federal judges.

It is now Valentine's day. I wonder if any of those secular dwarfs are celebrating. They should know that the full name of the semi-holiday is "St. Valentine's Day". When they understand the Christian nature of the day, will they take back they candy, flowers and jewelry, or will they show the true hypocritical nature of their evil little psyches? I almost escaped Valentine's day by pleading sick. Now, however, I am committed to taking her to the coast for dinner next week. I don't know why I keep trying when I know there is no way to win. Just stupid, I guess.

Summer is coming.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Hearts and Flowers

Well, here it is. Valentines day. Women revere it, men despise it. Women love it because they think it is romantic. Men don't like it because it gives the lady surgeons another chance to perform a cashectomy on us. Candy (get fat). Flowers (don't last, probably poisonous). Jewelry (useless, expensive bobbles). Ugh!!! Please believe my sincerity when I say, "BAH, HUMBUG".

The last game of the football season has come and gone. (pro bowl) Now there will be a long, boring intermission until next season. It looks like the steroid scandal is going to hit about 80% of the baseball players. What a bunch of idiots. Take the dope, muscle up, get big bucks, die before you can spend it. Morons. Did you notice anything missing this year? I thought not. They cancelled the entire hockey season! For the first time ever, the hockey players will get to summer time with the same amount of teeth that they had last year. Ho Hum.

All those erectile disfunction drugs, viagra, cialis, etc. say that if you get an erection that lasts more than four hours you should call a doctor. I think I would call Hugh Hefner. Four hours? WOW!!!

And finally, the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Retract this!

I must print a retraction of a statement I made in an earlier blog. I said that my pal on the east coast had 40 years of government service. He quickly (maybe too quickly) pointed out that he had only 30 years of service. I would have sworn he told me he was approaching 70 years old and had 40 years in the government grind, but I guess he's only 60 years old with 30 years. I may have surmised his age and service after having seen some pictures of him. So Sorry!!

Does anybody give a damn about this Chuck and Camille deal? He's an adulterer and she's a fornicator. Together they are a royal pain in the ass. I guess now we'll have to live with weekly updates on the happy couple. Didn't we imigrate from Europe to avoid this kind of nonsense?

Is anybody out there fishing? I guess the only one, nation wide, is Carl. It is only a couple of weeks or so until it gets warm enough to go fishing here. I keep a full tank of gas in the car so I can shoot out at a moment's notice.

There is a lot of fog here in the valley. It will stay until the sun comes out for real.

What's with these mothers killing their babies? And then, they get off with no jail time, just go have your tubes tied and you're a good girl again. They should chuck their butts in prison for 200 years. Ah, the joys of ultra-liberal judges! They should all be fired.

While we're on the subject of justice, are you aware of the recent number of young female teachers who are laying some vitamin "P" on their male students? The female commentators are going nuts trying to convict the teachers. The male commentators are going along with it mostly because they don't want to subject themselves to the wrath of the females. Have you seen the teachers? They are knockouts. You know and I know that those male commentators are thinking the same thing you and I are thinking. "Those lucky little punks!! I'd boink her any day!!" If my son ever came home with a tale about boinking his teacher, the first thing I'd find out is which one. If it were one of those movie star quality ones, I would then find out her phone number. Then I would go have a heart to heart chat with her. Horizontally.

Aw, nuts!

The super bowl is now history. If you want to make some money next year, just find out what my picks are in the playoffs and the super bowl and bet the opposite. That's right, I didn't pick one single game right. If I were a gambler, I'd be dining on cat food now.

The North Koreans have finally admitted they have a nuke. If I were running the show, I'd nuke them completely away right now. If we don't they are going to cause us more grief than you can imagine. Just the thought of a maniac like Kim Il Sung running around with nukes makes my blood run cold. We should have mashed his ass when it would have been easy. This is where years of diplomacy get you. It is hard to understand why we continuously rely on diplomacy when we know that it doesn't work 90% of the time. Ross Perot had a great idea when he said that we should close all our embassies world wide and open trade consulates to promote American goods abroad. Oh, and fire all the diplomats. We should keep of couple of these dweebs on hand in case a special situation arises calling for weak kneed idiocy.

Well, the winter solstice has passed and we are well on our way to the vernal equinox. Spring will officially arrive on or about March 21. That is approximately the day that summer arrives in southern California. We seldom have spring. One week the average temperature will be 65. BOOO. The next week it will be 85 and climbing. YESSSSS!!!! Until then, we'll just have to suffer. I have a great deal of sympathy for those in the east who rapped on me about how much they enjoy cold weather and what a wooos I am to bitch about it. Are you guys happy now that you're covered in ice? HAHAHAHA

A really good friend of mine is preparing too retire from the U.S. government after 40 years of service. In our conversations he tries to convince me to remain active and in contact with my old agency. What he doesn't understand is that I had been forced to deal with those morons for over 20 years. I want total disengagement from them. I am still in touch with a couple of my coworkers. They are the only ones I give a rat's ass about. The rest of them can slide down the slippery slope and off over the edge. I'll shed not a tear. I only have so many ticks left on my ticker and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it blowing hot air at a gang of incompetent louts. Am I bitter? Hell yes!!

It should be warm enough too go fishing next month. I hope so. My family in Washington State keep trying to lure me into going north, but that isn't likely to happen before the middle of August. Summer occurs in Washington from August 15 to August 18. The fishing is really good there. Lakes and streams a re everywhere and they all have water in them and the water all has fish. Unlike southern California where most of the rivers are little dried out pathways and the lakes fluxuate up and down like a yoyo from flooded to damn near dry. Really.

Did I mention my displeasure over Ward Churchill, the idiot professor for the University of Colorado who compared the September 11 vicitms to Adolph Eichman? He says that they brought it on themselves. Expanding on his theory, if he pissed somebody off enough to shoot his worthlees ass, he would have effectively committed suicide. After all, it would be his fault the he enraged the perp.

Now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

SS

Now to discuss FDR's behemoth, Social Security. It needs to be modified. I am receiving SS disability right now, and I'm an old fart, so any changes that take place won't effect me unless I live to be 170. The president has put forth a proposal. I don't know if it is right or wrong, but I do know that the dumocraps have offered nothing at all except to say that the system isn't broke yet. I suppose that it is a much more comfy world with your head buried in the sand. Unfortunately, it does not help to solve the problem. The dems don't want to change anything about it because it is the bastard child of FDR. They worship him, almost as much as JFK. But even he said that eventually, it would have to be changed to accomodate at least some private ownership. President Bush has had the courage to take on this really tough problem. The stupid liberals believe that his proposal is to privatize the entire system. Nothing could be further from the truth. The changes he has proposed are voluntary. The liberals don't want to change because they see a little of the power they own slipping away. We will hear the same dumb-ass arguments when we try to modify the income tax, a truly totalitarian nightmare that has no place in a free society.

It was 65 degrees here today. That is still 10 degrees below my thermal cutoff point, but at least the sun was shining. Spring cannot be far away.

It looks like the Iraqis may have elected a mostly secular government. That is excellent, if true. I don't know if any of you have ever lived under a religious regime, but I have and I can tell you it intensely sucks. There is nothing wrong with having religious leaders. Having a church in charge is the worst. Read about the Spanish inquisition and you'll understand.

I guess no one is catching any fish, nation wide. I doubt if anyone is even fishing. Except Carl. I dream of the day when I can go duck hunting again. I'll need to have a good hunting buddy. I can't run down a dead duck, much less a live one. Maybe I'll buy a really good dog.

I hope the grandchildren can make it over here for spring break. My wife has a crying spell every time she thinks about them. Oh well.

Guess who

She didn't know what to do. She was stuck out in the sticks with no way out. Then by luck, she met a big time liar who had some money and a vision of leaving the hick town. So she latched on to him. He took her far away to the nation's capitol, where she was forced to ignore the many infidelities of her bum. She vowed she would become a force to be reckoned with. When Slick lost his job, she looked around for a nice cushy spot from which to build her power base. She knew that back home, she wouldn't stand a chance because they were already wise to her and Slick. She studied diligently and decided that Massachusetts, infamous for political morons, was the place to invade. But they already had an ample supply of neer-do-wells. She looked to the west, to California where people are dumber than rocks and found the job she wanted, but both positions were already filled with idiots.She studied the nation and decided that the only place that had an opening where the people were stupid enough to vote for her was New York. She knew she could get elected there because they had already elected a really stupid comrade in arms, we'll call CS. Can you guess who this is? One more hint, her and slick have left a trail of bodies and blood money in their wake for the last 50 years. Know who it is?

It is hard to believe the continuing stupidity displayed by Boxer, Pelosi and Kennedy. I didn't include the elf because he doesn't count for much. It is really pretty humoroous to watch this gang of nuts circle around each other and destroy themselves while they try their hardest to usurp President Bush. The problem here is that this country needs a 2 party system. If they don't mend their ways, the dumocraps will not be part of that system.

The days have been sunny. I can see that spring is about to burst forth. I can't wait until it gets warm. Right now, it is cold. It sucks.

Is anybody out there catching any fish? Is it too cold to go fishing where you are? It is here.

I finally broke down and bought Microsoft works suite. I was never really happy with that Lotus stuff. Works has "word" included in the package, so now some of my pals will actually be able to decode my attachments without performing circus-like manuevers.

Super Bowl in 3 days. Hohum.

WRONG!!!!!!!!

Is any body surprised that Kerry (the poodle) and Kennedy (the swimmer) are now ready to cut and run over the Iraqi election? I think this points to a basic character flaw in both of these political cowards. The worst possible thing we could do at this point is to bring our troops home before Iraq is stabilized. It is just one more way that shows the liberals are willing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. As time marches on, the far left is commiting political suicide. Kennedy has already shot his big mouth off and is becoming irrelevant. Same goes for Kerry and Clinton. A basket full of losers. The Iraqi election was a huge success. The liberals are pissed. They were counting on absolute failure. Without the pictures of Iraqis waiting in long lines and dancing in the streets, you can bet that the liberal media would have declared the election a flop. How have we let so many anti-americans gain so much power? I think it is time to take the power from them. No, I don't know how. Why don't you guys dream up some super duper plan?

Hillary (the liar) Clinton collapsed at a speech she was giving today. Unfortunately, she is expected to make a full recovery. The dumocraps can't really be serious about running her for president. Of course, they have picked lame horses before and paid the price.

My buddies down in Georgia got buried under and ice storm. It must have been terrible for them. The power went down and stayed down for some of them for a couple of days. I wonder if it killed the peach crop. Or the Vidalia onion crop. BOOOO

The days are now getting longer little by little. In another month and a half, it may be warm enough to go outside.

And now for the Delano weather report. It sucks.

Charging into super bowl weekend this year is like being in a large mudslide. You slip down the slope and at the bottom, more mud. What little interest I have in this affair is directed at the Eagles. I hope they win. We'll see.

gas bags fail again

Despite the best efforts of Barbara (the check bouncer) Boxer and Ted (dick 'em and dunk 'em) Kennedy, Rice has been sworn in as Secretary of State. Time will tell if she was worth the effort. One thing you can be sure of is that the gas bag duo will be back with even more idiotic proposals in the near future.

We are on the eve of the Iraqi elections. The hopes of most people in the U.S. is that they will succeed so we can bring our troops home. Unfortunately, there are a few far left morons who would love to see these elections fail.(see paragraph above) I suspect that these kinds of assholes cheer a little inside at every casualty report. What a low-life bunch of Marxist jerks.

I just read a book by Ann Coulter called "Treason". It describes in detail the lengths to which liberals will go to undermine our nation. Coulter is one of the few women who have something to say worth listening to. She is an admitted right winger. She has written several books about the failures of the liberal crowd in America. Some of her stuff is scary, but all of it is true.

We are also on the eve of the super bowl. Somehow, I just can't get excited about watching Philly play Boston. Maybe next year will bring back that old, good feeling.

Oh, I almost forgot the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Still there

One of the guys who did the Philippine tour wrote to tell me that the famous (or infamous) Fire Empire is still in operation after 35 years. For those unfortunate enough to have not been there, The Fire Empire was one of those joints in Angeles City where everything was for sale and the price was always negotiable. We had some really good times there. One guy accused me of being drunk or trying to get drunk for a whole year. That is simply not true. I was drunk or trying to get drunk for almost 20 years on four continents. Of course my memory is a little hazy. As I said, I have selective amnesia about the not so good parts and that's the way I want it.

I hope that you guys back east who chided me for whining about the weather are happy now that you are buried under 8 feet of snow and the temperature has plummeted down to -20. Let me just say, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I assume that this is the way you like it. Get out there and shovel that crap. Slither around on it. Ball it up and throw it. The ways to display winter idiocy are endless.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Each day gets us closer to the time when we can go fishing, I can't wait. We'll try it first up by San Simeon beach. Several years ago my #1 grandson and I were invited to go fishing on Vandenburg AFB. We caught a whole bunch of surf perch. My grandson caught the largest one. It was great. Hopefully, I'll have similar tales to tell later in the year. Do I plan on boring you with stories of our exploits? Hell yes!

I can't believe that the Steelers also got their asses whipped by the Patriots. Our only hope now is the Eagles. I'm not a big Philly fan, but they're better than New England. As a consolation, I can be happy that the Cowboys lost, lost, lost. Wait til next year.