You're Fired!!!

Now for a word or two to the United States Senate. What the hell do you clowns think you are doing? You were not hired to go to Washington to further the ambitions of the Democrats. You were not hired to go to Washington to further the ambitions of the Republicans. You were hired to go to Washington to conduct the business of the country. You are not doing that. Instead, you are embroiled in war over the President's appointees. Vote them up or down and then get on with the business of governing the country. Donald Trump would fire all of your asses in a heartbeat. The Democrats need to get over the fact that they lost the election. The Republicans need to get over the fact that they are now in power. The whole damned senate needs to remember what they were hired for. There is less whining and bickering in a kindergarten playground. Stop acting like a truculent bunch of cry babies and do our business!!!

The temperature in Delano tomorrow will be 69. At 2 AM. hahaha. Days are in the mid 90's. It is perfect.

What is all this fuss about Zarqawi? I don't want to hear he is wounded. I want to hear that he died an excruciating, protracted death with lots and lots of pain. There is no reason to feel even a twing of sympathy for this murdering hoodlum. He has said that the killing of Moslem women and children is ok, if it furthers his ambitions. What an immoral asshole! When he dies, he won't get 72 virgins. He'll get a 6'10" goliath named "Bubba" to help him make it through the night.
If we manage to capture the worthless beast, you can bet that the ACLU and Amnesty International will raise hell about lawyers and the Geneva Convention rules. The Iraqis don't like him, so the proper thing to do is turn him over to their tender ministrations. I'm sure they'll treat him tenderly, seeing as how his mad bombers have killed over 600 Iraqi men, women and children just this last month while that cowardly yellowbelly hid out.

Speaking of Amnesty International, were you aware that they are going to try to have our fighting men arrested if they go on R&R in Europe? They have compared the United States to Hitler's Germany. You can help stop them the same way you can help stop the ACLU. Don't give them any money.

The recipe for today is lemonade.

Buy two dozen lemons.
Put them in a large bowl and smash them.
Strain out the liquid.
Add 2 teaspoons of sugar(gotta watch those calories!)
Dump the liquid into a glass full of ice.
Drink hearty!!

Once again I have proven that I am one of the world's great procrastinators. I have not yet gone fishing or swimming. Why? Too lazy!!

Singularity

At the center of society is a black hole much like the black holes found in other galaxies. Our black hole sucks the life out of freedom and prosperity. At the center of our black hole is the singularity and the singularity is the ACLU. Surely you remember the American Communist Lawyer's Union. While it is true that we must worry about the North Koreans, the red Chinese, Iran, Iraq South American smugglers and Mexican criminal illegal aliens, the main threat to our society is the ACLU. Look at the record of this herd of ne'er-do-wells. They have been and still are promoting vicious attacks against the Boy Scouts because the Boy Scouts won't let queers run scout troops. In California, they are in bed with the 9th circuit court of appeals, the most left leaning govenrment organization since the dissolution of the KGB. The threat of an ACLU lawsuit scares the hell out of state and local governments, big and small. They are dead set against the second amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Almost all the problems that we encounter with the criminal justice system can be laid squareley at the doors of this anti-American gang of domestic terrorists. They have disrupted our lives and caused untold hardship for the people of this great land. How do we stop them. Well, if you have a lawyer and he/she supports the ACLU, fire the SOB. Tell him why he's getting the axe. Talk to your friends and see if they will fire their ACLU bound lawyers. The only thing this gang of traitors understands is money. Hit 'em in the wallet and they won't be quite so anxious to support the defiling of America.

It has been a little over two weeks since my last blog and nothing has changed. There are still missing children, heinous murders, bank robberies, rapes and child porn. It all looks pretty hopeless. Our only hope in these hard days is faith in God and Remington. Arm yourself. If the crazies are going to kill you anyway, make 'em pay. Just say a little prayer and shoot the SOB.

I still haven't been fishing. Everytime I get set to go, something pops up and destroys my carefully laid plans. A buddy of mine on the east coast went fishing this last week in the ocean. He said they caught a bunch of striped bass, but none of them measured up to the 40" minimum size limit.

Finally, it is warming up here. Daytime temps are only about 85 so far, but the near future looks promising. The Delano weather report is "good".

The recipes for today is Health-nut salad.

Go out in your yard and cut an assortment of anything that looks green or yellow. Toss it all together in a salad bowl and consume with no dressing.(Can't have any of that fattening, good tasting stuff.)

Baseball season is under way. whoopee, whoopee, yahoo. On the brighter side, each day brings us closer to football season.

What, no killing?

I guess you have all heard the story of the missing bride who got cold feet, fled the scene and wound up in New Mexico. She's got a lot of nerve not being raped and killed like all those other missing girls. Are we miffed, or what? After all that searching, pleading, whining and bitching, she shows up alive and well. What a blow to the media! Every one of the news talking heads got it wrong! Maybe they are not as smart as they think they are.

While the weather continues to warm here in Southern California, most of the rest of the nation is enduring one of the coldest Mays in history. You guys in the east should find a global warming advocate and thank him, personally, for crying wolf. After having studied the weather charts for the last 200,000 years, I have come to the conclusion that the weather fluctuates wildly with or without help from humans. The "global warming" hysteria reminds me of the cancer scares. At one time or another, scientists claimed that everything caused cancer. Most people. like me, are now totally ignoring these geniuses. We should do the same for the global warming nuts. I realize that changes in the weather are not the fault of this nut group, but they have misidentified the causes of warming and cooling trends. They have ruined entire industries based on idiotic conclusions and generally caused prices to rise in several critical fields. If this were Christmas, I would say, "BAH, HUMBUG!!" But since its not, a simple "bite me" will have to suffice.

One of my daughter's clients is going to run a car in the Indy 500. Look for "Sam Schmidt" racing. He also has a website you might want to peruse. Good luck, Sam!!!

My pool was full of little, tiny frogs this morning. Luckily, it is the day for the pool boy to make his appearance. He got to dip them out. I don't have any idea why they picked this week to make their appearance. Just a few more weeks and I'll be swimming.

Now for the Delano weather report: It is clear, sunny and cool. (80 degrees). It's trying hard. Maybe next week.

How much?

The question on the mind of every American today is, "How much more of these rising gasoline prices will we take?" The answer lies in what we are willing to do about it. The usual diplomatic hand wringing and 'studies' is not going to fix it. Since they started raising gas prices dramatically in the early 70's, it has been obvious to most Americans that OPEC is really just a bunch of international thieves. The fuel industry learned a real lesson from the sugar industry. Back in the 60's when a bottle of Coke was $.10, sugar sufferred through a major shortage and the price of sugar and everything with sugar in it skyrocketed. When the shortage was over, sugar prices dropped, but not to pre-shortage levels. The price of all sugar included commodities didn't drop one cent. It still hasn't. OPEC, seeing this, manufactured the oil shortage of the early 70's and the price of gas rocketed upward. When the shortage magically disappeared, gas prices did not drop. The oil companies maintained prices at post shortage levels. Then began 30 years of price increases. Have you noticed that the prices at the pump increase immediately when OPEC cuts production but after they raise production again, pump prices drop a little but never back to the pre-increase levels. Again, how much more of this theft are we going to take? I believe we have taken enough. The time has come for some heavy-handed, direct and drastic action. The United States should attend the next OPEC meeting and announce that fuel prices will drop immediately. If they don't we will take the oil fields away from their tenants and run them ourselves. The current owners are obviously irresponsible and not competent to run such a global enterprise. Am I advocating war? If that's what it takes, so be it. I'll tell you straight up that if the military needs someone to charge the guns, this is one old fat guy who will volunteer in a heartbeat.

Now a word about wishy-washy judges and non prosecuting prosecutors. In recent years many judges have been legislating from the bench. Most of the ones who are guilty of this are left wing liberals with a liberal agenda. Not only do they legislate from the bench, they seem to make horrible errors in judgement as to the disposition of criminals. Lately, too may criminals have appeared before these judges and been turned loose again with a slap on the wrist, a small fine and nonexistent bail. Later, these criminals perpetrate other, more heinous crimes. When the investigation into the circumstances of the early or immediate release reveals that the criminal had stood before the bar of justice in the recent past and was not jailed, the judge invariable explains that he or she is overworked and has too many cases to investigate each one closely. BULLSHIT!!! There is no excuse for turning pedophiles and murderers loose on the unsuspecting public to wreak havoc once again. These judges are paid to exercise GOOD judgement. When one of them turns a criminal loose and the criminal commits another crime, the judge should be jailed if he let the perp out one minute early. Maybe a few months in the slammer with the animals they help create will cause the other judges to mend their ways. Is this too harsh? No way! If your accountant screws up your taxes, he is fired and if he screws up enough, he'll be out of business. Judges are there primarily to protect us from the lowlife animals in our society. For the immediate future, We can recall judges who make bad calls. Or we can vote some of them out of office. We need relief now!

The recipe for today is Rock Soup:
1. Build a fire
2. Pour 2 gallons of water into a large pot and place it over the fire.
3. Drop in 3 or 4 large rocks.
4. Boil the rocks for 23 minutes.
5. Pour into bowls and EAT HEARTY..yum

Now for the Delano weather report: It has cooled off once again, though not quite down to the "sucks" level. It is, however, well below "good".

It goes on and on

Since my last blog less than a week ago, two more little girls have been found raped and murdered. These atrocities can be laid squarely at the dorrs of the ACLU and liberal, activist courts. The hand-wringing over what is to be done has started. You can bet your ass that the ACLU will fight any kind of sentencing reform that is voted on. There are several good solutions that could be implemented. First, ban the ACLU. Throw all of its officers in jail with the animals they have helped create. Second, recall the liberal judges who make truly stupid decisions regarding the handling of these sub-human animals. Third, fire all prosecutors who fail to prosecute. Last, but not least, change the sentencing guidelines. I have included a list of MINIMUM sentences for these animals:
1. For rape and murder, Death within one month of a guilty verdict. No exceptions.
2. For sex crimes against children, a minimum of 20 years without parole, Immediate castration and removal of the offending penis, Required to wear a location collar for life. Mandatory frontal lobotomy. A tatoo on the forehead identifying the animal. Cannot live within 2 miles of where children play, live or go to school. Death for a second offense within one month of a guilty verdict. Gee, does that sound a little harsh? Tough!!! Make these kinds of crimes really distasteful to the animals. I believe that when a man yanks it out in front of children, he automatically gives up all his Constitutional rights. He doesn't deserve them. He is, after all, sub-human. A monster. A low beast. Akin to a rabid dog.

Wow, it was 85 today with more of the same in the near forecast. If it will stay like this for a week, I will venture forth to the old fishin' hole. I didn't go all last year, the first year I've missed since the late sixties. My buddy on the east coast has spent most of the last couple of weeks in Pennsylvania. It is nasty, cold and the wind is blowing in North Carolina, so he hasn't gone fishing yet either.

The recipe for the day is: Charred Steak
Make a fire.
Get a steak.
Throw the steak in the fire.
Let it burn for 30 minutes or so.
Remove it from the fire and try to eat it.

The Delano weather report is: Warming up. Out of the 'it sucks' region, but not quite to the 'good' region.

Assorted nuts

Another criminal maniac has gone off the deep end, killed two people and raped a teenage girl. This is a guy they had in jail and released early. I believe that jail for all these guys is a colossal waste of time and money. When they get one of these nuts, they should just go ahead and shoot the criminal asshole. It really doesn't matter if they are mentally competent or not. The insanity plea should be struck from the books. The only way to cure career criminals is with a 38 caliber pill. It can't be as costly as they claim it is to string one of these morons up. The thing that costs the money is the years and years full of appeals and paying appeals shysters to try to skirt the law and get these animals off with a lighter sentence or a new trial. There should be a brief trial followed by maybe one appeal and then, BANG!!! Murderers and child rapists shoould get the same treatment. Stop dicking around with these monsters. Plant 'em and forget 'em.

At last, after years of ignoring the southern border, the army is being deployed to the area. The Mexican government is displeased, but so what? They couldn't possibly hurt us any more than they already have by encouraging illegal immigration. I think the best solution to the Mexican problem is to attack Mexico, colonize it, declare martial law and totally destroy the immigration problem. It is obvious that the Mexican government has no idea about providing jobs for their people. A few U.S. firms, you know, the ones the hippies hate, could start farming and manufacturing in what is now Mexico. We could arrest all the federalies and politicians, assuming they are all guilty of something. Let the military courts sort 'em out. In a decade or two, we would have a lot better grip on the transient problem. However, as long as the current situation prevails, anyone caught illegally entering the United States should be treated as a federal felon, jailed and prosecuted. Since deporting them seems to do no good, prison camps in the desert seems to be a great solution.

Tiger strikes again!! Yes folks, just as the anti-Woods clowns were trying to proclaim him a thing of the past, El Tigre has risen to capture his fourth green jacket at Augusta. Now that he seems to have his swing back, the rest of the PGA must once again watch it. I predict he'll leave a bright burning trail through the rest of the golf season.

And now, your new recipe isPlanked carp.
Catch a carp
Strap it to a cedar plank and roast over open fire.
Remove from heat
Throw carp away, eat plank.

I am hopeful that it will continue to warm up. We had one day of spring about a week ago. Then, winter set in again. Now it is warming up slowly. If you get a chance to talk to one of those 'global warming' buffoons, punch him in the suck. I had actually turned my funace off, when suddenly, I was freezing my kabip off. Had to turn it back on. boooo. The Delano weather still sucks.

It's still there!!

Yes, lurking in the shadow of the death of the Pope and the Schiavo spectacle, the Michael Jackson case is resurrected. It did not go away as we all hoped. Now the media morons will fill our already over flowing cups with more of the adventures of MJ. Really, we don't need 24/7 coverage of this weirdo case.

In response to reader comments, I am starting my one recipe per blog attraction. Soon, it will become a beloved tradition and I'm sure it will help some of you lesser adept cooks. The first recipe is for southern fried fish:
1. Go to Alabama
2. Get a fish
3. Fry it
4. Eat it
A recipe this simple should be easy for even the most inept cook to follow.

Also, in response to reader comments: Anchovies still suck. Always have, always will. I would rather eat skunk asses fried in kerosene than an anchovy.

It has finally gotten back up to 80 degrees here. It's almost warm enough to go fishing. In another week or two I'll give it a try. I may have to go fish in the ditch out by Alpaugh for white bass. Some have told me that they have made a recovery after having been poisoned out by the idiot fish and game commission. We used to catch them by the buckets full out there. We'll see.

My tomatoes have been planted!! This year, they have a chance of surviving because I didn't even touch them. My sweet little wife planted them. I didn't even supervise. Time will tell.

Now that the winter clouds are fading, we can observe large, very fast objects in the sky headed for the coast. Nellis, Edwards and Area 51 are not very far from here by air. I expect an announcement of some super-plane later this summer. Of course, I could be wrong. I was wrong once before back in 1978 when I thought I was wrong and I wasn't.

screwed again!!

Once again I must apologize. When I wrote the blog on food, I was unaware that I needed a PhD from the Culinary Institute of America to decide what's good and what's not. I was under the mistaken impression that 65 years of tasting various treats from around the world would automatically qualify me to judge assorted foods. I was also unawaare that I didn't have enough expertise to comment on cooking shows. Hell, I like cooking shows. I watch them all the time. Some of the favorite ingredients of the TV chefs leave me with a gag reflex in progress. I guess I'm just unsophisticated. One more thing, if you bring me a pizza with those foul little fish on it, it will immediately become wearing apparel for the provider. Sorry, that's the way it is.

Well, Schiavo croaked and immediately, the Pope's health declined. Now, all those media idiots have to leave Florida and go to Italy. Like the Schiavo case, they will cover this one 24/7 until we have had more than enough. Kind of makes me wonder what the next super duper event will be.

Boy, those people in southeast Asia are really catching hell. First the major tsunami and now a big, big earthquake. That is one of my most favorite areas in the world and now it is mostly destroyed. BOOOO.

Temp in Delano today was 79. No clouds. No wind. Summer is coming!!! At last.

What's cookin'?

Now for a few thousand well chosen words about the culinary arts. First, let me list the things in the food world that we can easily do without:
1. Garlic. This foul weed seems to find its way into everything we cook and everything we order at restaurants. It smells bad. It tastes bad. It makes you smell bad. On the other hand, it is an excellent birth control device.
2. Anchovies. While I really like most fish, the anchovy doesn't really seem to be a fish. It is more like some vermin from the sea. A water-borne cockroach. Anchovies taste like a big scoop of dirt. TV chefs think these wretched little beasts are wonderful. They are wrong. The only use I have ever found for anchovies is as bait.
3. "Al Dente". My ancestors spent numerous generations learning to cook food so it is done. Al dente is not done. It is under cooked. If I want to chew something crunchy, I'll eat an apple. You may COOK my pasta, please.
4. Complex recipes. These recipes are presented to us as something the home cook can easily accomplish. LIES!!! Most of them are multi-ingredient masterpieces that require exotic fruits and/or vegetables and meats that can only be obtained on safari. Some ingredients are not now, never have been, and never will be available to the general public. These recipes describe techniques and equipment found only in 5 star restaurants. Preparations times vary between 5 hours and 5 days. Who has the time?
5. Strange foreign words. Most TV chefs deem it necessary to use phrases and descriptions that are totally foreign to 99% of the American people. We can't tell what the hell they're talking about. I am sure that they could use plain english in their descriptive presentations. Like lawyers, they seem to be unable to speak clearly in understandable english.
6. How many of you guys have 5 ovens, 6 cook tops, a grill, a buit-in deep fryer, a broiler and 50 square feet of counter space. None of you? Gee, I'm shocked. You probably don't have $5000 worth of pots and pans either.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Last time!!!

I promise, this is the last time I will mention the plight of Schiavo. In my last blog, I said that they should just let her croak. Bill O'Reilly had a much better idea. He said that the husband should withdraw his suit, make a public statement that he had done his best to fulfill her wishes, but now was willing to turn guardianship over to her parents. This would solve several problems. First, and most important, it would dry up the media coverage because if there is no controversy, there is no story. Second, it would relieve Mr. Schiavo of the financial burden for her recovery. It would also remove the state's responsibility for her hospital bills. The parents could finance them from donations. Third, it couldn't hurt anything. She would continue to live. She is not in pain so there would be no harm done. All this would work unless Mr. Schiavo has some nefarious reason not to let it go. The only good thing about this whole sordid affair is that we haven't heard about Michael Jackson or Scott Peterson for a week.

I must apologize! I guess I was being much too subtle when I expressed my views on illegal, criminal aliens in our country. Allow me to provide some detail. The first act of an illegal is to commit a federal felony by crossing the border illegally. If they are caught, they should be immediately deported. The U.S. Army should be assigned to patrol our southern border. They should be given permission to shoot to kill if they detect invaders. All illegals found hiding in this country should be rounded up, loaded on barges and shipped to southern Mexico with a warning that to return is to die. The Mexican government should have heavy sanctions levied against it for providing aid to the invaders. The drug laden, disease infected criminals must not be allowed to invade our country. Any criminal foreigners in our jails should be shipped directly to President Fox. How much longer are we going to stand for this crap? Are you aware that there is a movement among Mexicans living in our country to take back the southwestern states? I'm all for legal imigration. I know many people who waited and waited for visas to enter this country legally. It is an insult to legal imigrants to allow the criminal invaders to live here. NO AMNESTY!!!!! Well, I hope this clears up any misunderstanding or questions you may have had on my stance on criminal invaders.

A really good friend of mine on the east coast is retiring at the end of the month. I am sure he will be a lot happier out of work than he ever was while he was working. Retirement is great, but the "golden years" suck.

I can finally hobble around the hoouse. It has been almost a week since I blew out my foot. I've been confined to quarters until today. It is hard to believe how much we depend on two good legs. My wife, busy little bee that she is, whipped right out last Sunday and got me some crutches. I damned near killed myself trying to learn how to operate the things. Never was successful. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Benefits

As much as I dislike this miserable valley, it does have some good features. For example, this morning one of my wife's little friends dropped off a huge bag of oranges and tangerines. These are not the kind you find in the stores in the north. The oranges are as big as grapefuits and the tangerines are as big as oranges. They came out of the fields this morning, so you just know they are sweet and juicy. A little later in the year, we will receive boxes and baskets of grapes.
We get grapes here in some varieties unknown to people outside this valley. So, I guess there are some compensations for living in this fishless place.

The mindless media, as usual, has gone completely berserk with their coverage of the Brian Nichols affair. While it is to be admitted that he is a very violent criminal, devoid of any traits that make him worth rehabilitating and knowing that he deserves to die as soon as possible, the media will not admit that the rest of the world did not stop turning as soon as this murdering idiot pulled the trigger. They have covered him 24/7. GIMMEE A BREAK!!!
You have probably noticed that Scott Peterson, another convicted murderer, is back in the news. The media wants you to believe that there are new developements in his case. The real reason, as predicted by this humble author, is that his new book has come out. How the hell can the prison system allow such atrocities? The entire United States prison system should take lessons from the sheriff in Arizona. His prisoners get no TV, no weight room, no library. They get to sleep in tents, winter and summer. They don't get really good food and he makes the men wear pink! That's my kind of law enforcement. There are almost NO returnees to his jail. Gee, I wonder why?

Now the wretches in the "human rights" organizations are starting to whine because, apparently, the number of prisoners at gitmo is dwindling. They fear that the U.S. is turning these low-lifes over to other governments for more thorough questioning. They know, and have known all along, that we treat our prisoners better than anyone in the world. They also know that if the Pakistanis or the Saudis get their hands on them, they will squeal like pigs. It's their own damned fault. They shouldn't have raised so much hell with the military. They shouldn't have tried to get them protection just like US citizens. I have no sympathy for the prisoners. The only thing I can says to the human rights advocates is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Once again the communist ACLU has shot themselves in the foot. I wish they would shoot themselves a little higher up. Say, just above the neck.

Now that summer is approaching, the moronic children with their obnoxious ghetto blasters are starting to creep out from under their rocks and back out onto the street. The usual motif is a nice looking truck or car with a 5,000 watt stereo system playing at full volume. Here's a little stock tip. Buy hearing aid company stocks. All of these stupid little jerks will need auditory assistance soon. Oh, what I'd give for an RPG!!!

It has cooled off today. Once again the temperature has plummeted to less than 70 degrees. BOOOO!! No fishing yet. BOOOO!! Once again, the weather here sucks.

80 degrees!

At last the temperature has hit eighty degrees. It is almost warm enough to think about fishing, swimming and other sports for the mentally sound. If the weather holds like this or starts another upward climb, I should be fishing in a week or two. Note that while I was whining about the lousy weather, I never said I couldn't take it. I used to romp in that foul white crap, hunt in it, fish in it and drive in it. Then, I matured. I now am fully aware that so-called "winter sports" are really just a way for those trapped in the deep throws of ice and snow to compensate for their utter misery. They seem to be disturbed by the fact that some of us were smart enough to move out of those latitudes, while they were not. Over the long, frozen years, their brains have become defective from being iced down 90% of the time. They have my heartfelt sympathy and I hope they will accept my condolences.

I'll admit that wretched California is the home of west coast communism, but it is no worse than Massachusetts or New York. Those who are trapped in the asphalt jungles of the east have no real idea about mountains, plains and unending coast lines unless they have been fortunate enough to visit the west. Not California, but Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be westerners, believe that the entire east coast from Boston to Norfolk is covered in concrete and asphalt. It is loaded with crooks, criminals and communists. It is rife with corporate scum who embezzle the nations money. Several of my best friends are stuck in this horrible beehive. Since they know nothing else, they are probably trapped for good.

Once again, I am in the preliminary stages of planning a cross country tour. I hope I have better luck this year than in years past. Every time I try to go, I am stopped by physical BS. Ah, to be twenty again!! I don't care what AARP says, the "golden years" suck.

This is the month I pay off my computer. I mention this because microsoft has announced their new windows system "longbow". I am wondering if we can just upgrade to it or will we have to buy a whole new platform. Also, my pool crawler is on its last legs. It has lasted 9 years and beeen repaired many, many times. My pool service informs me that the next time it breaks, there will be nothing left to repair. I examined the device and found they are right. New ones are big bucks. I hope the taxman is good to me. Oh well.

Operation a success!!

Did you notice? A major cancer has been removed from the American news scene. Little Danny Blather, after years of stupidity in broadcast journalism, has been removed from the tumerous CBS channels. Many of us have prayed for this for years. He was a hard case liberal who stood slightly to the left of Karl Marx. I think he dragged the entire news industry downward toward liberalism. My only regret in this whole sordid episode is that I am writing a farewell instead of an epitaph.

The weather continues to grow warmer by the day. And now a word for those of you who back east who accused me of being a puss for whining about the weather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you enjoying those 5 foot snow drifts? Got icicle?
It was 77 here today in bright sunshine. My latest source of amusment on TV is the weather channel. It provides hours and hours of laughs.

Are you guys sick of Michael Jackson? I am. Every minute of every day on every news channel, we are force-fed the king of pop. It resembles the OJ trial. I immediately switch to another channel when the Jackson trial comes on. What a bore!!

My buddy Carl isn't fishing. He says the fishing at this time of year in Carolina sucks. Every time he calls, he wants to know if I've been to the ditch (aquaduct) to fish for stripers. Saddly, I haven't. I'll bet the fishing is good in Washington. Trout season is about to start. Wish I was there. If someone out there is catching any fish, let me know.

I guess the grandchildren won't be coming for spring break. Damned shame. Well, there is always this summer. At least that is something to look forward to.

Luckily, we got some fish and crabs from some friends up at Kodiak. Those crab legs sure were good. yum

At Last

Warmer weather is almost here! It got up to 75 today, which is my thermal cutoff point. I was able to leave the outside door to the bedroom open all day and got it aired out. 2 days from now, it will be 80. 2 weeks from now, it'll be 90. Summer is upon us!!

Teddy "boy" Kennedy, you know, the murdering rummy from Mass., is back in the news making stupid statements about the President and the present administration. He called them Hitlers. What a moron. It is a real mystery to me why the people of Massachusetts contiue to elect this idiot. It seems to me that he shouldn't be running around loose making dumb-ass remarks about other politicians. He should be in jail. Along with Bill and Hillary. All crooks. I guess those Bostonians are as stupid as I always thought they were.

Social Security was nice enough to raise our medicare premiums just enough to wipe out our cost of living increase. We therefore netted a big el goose-o eggo. I'm really worn out with politicians. It seems the only time our wallets are not in danger of recieving a cashectomy is when congress is not in session.

Its still a little chilly for fishing, but the time is fast approaching. I can almost taste those fresh surf perch. I hope I find a good spot so I can take my grandchildren there this summer. No word from Carl, my east coast fishing buddy on how is doing fishing. When he's quiet, its no good.

Now for the Delano weather report: It still sucks, but not as bad as it used to. Oh well.

the food chain

I just knew there had to be a lower form of life in this country than Michael Moore!! There is. It's name is Michael Newdow. He is the sleazy, ambulance chasing, egotistical, anti-American dick head who is filing all these suits in federal court to completely secularize America. This idiot is more dangerous than Osama Ben Laden. Why? Well OBL took down a couple of buidlings and killed a bunch of people. Buildings can be replaced. Newdow is tearing at the very heart of American society. He is attempting to undermine 200 years of history with his inane rhetoric about God in government. He claims to be all for the Constitution, yet he attempts to destroy it. Already having been turned down by the Supreme Court, he is now filing lawsuits in all 13 district courts. Does he have a chance? No, except for the ninth circuit court here in California. They are a group known for their extreme liberalism and anti-American rulings. They are also trying to dismantle the American way of life, so they should get along rather well with Newdow. What can be done about this maniac? Well, very little that's legal. I guess someone with a lot of bucks could start filing lawsuits against him for depriving the rest of us of our right to our heritage. If I were younger, I might take some more direct action, but those days are long gone. Another thing we can do is to support the organizations that are fighting him in the courts. Just punch "newdow" into your browser.

It finally stopped raining. There is a lot of fog and it is still cold, but at least it rains no more. The pool was 1 inch from overflow when it quit. The weather sucks.

I don't think anybody but Carl is fishing yet. It shouldn't be too long until we see some major improvement in the weather. Then, its off to the coast. I can't wait.

Another little girl in Florida is missing from her home over night. While I am not a big advocate of vigilanteism, I think they only way to stop these guys is for the people to find them, take them to a secluded spot and do really terrible things to them. Then lynch 'em. The courts are much too slow and the punishment much too mild for these sickos. Am I suggesting that we, the people, should take these matters into our own hands? Hell yes!!

Once again, this year, I am going to attempt to grow tomatoes. My past experiences in this endeavour have been abject failures. Sometimes, I even measure the pH of the soil. It doesn't seem to matter. Tomato plants left in my care are invariably doomed. I will, however, give it another shot. Because I am obstinate and hard-headed, that's why. My wife can grow anything. She doesn't seem to follow any scientific formula. She just puts the seeds in the ground and raises beautiful fruits, vegetables and flowers. She's kind of like Johnny Appleseed. She goes to the garden and flicks seeds and other mysterious items in what looks like a random pattern. She gets acres of healthy plants. When I try it, I get acres of garbage.

I am still hoping that my grandchildren will visit at spring break. We seem to have acquired a step-grandson to go along with the rest of the herd. I think it is great!! I can hardly wait to see the entire menagerie.

Have you ever been late on a payment and then get a phone call from some foreign sounding chump? Well they sound that way because the are foreigners. Most of them are in India. I refuse to discuss my finances with anybody overseas. Especially foreigners. If you want to bug me, use Americans, in America. Try to insure that they speak english. Some don't. Oh well.

What did he say?

As predicted, the buffoon, Howard Dean, is dragging his party right down the slippery slope by making racial slurs, promoting bigotry and perpetrating other items of idiocy. As head of the DNC, he was the almost unanimous choice for that position by the Republicans. The Republicans want to watch him as he slowly but surely scuttles the dumocrap boat. I guess we may have finally answered that question; How stupid can they get?

Here's a list of things I don't give a rats ass about:
1. Scott Peterson
2. School boys receiving vitamin "P" from their female teachers
3. Chuck and Camille
4. Al Franken
5. The left wing, pinko Hollywood crowd
6. Michael Jackson
7. Mr. John Heinz, you know, the guy who ran for president last time and lost
8. Steroids
9. Hockey
10. Major league baseball
Of course, the list could be a lot longer, but these are the things I am really tired of hearing about. Does anybody out there give a big quack quack about any of them? Why?

Martha Stewart will be out of jail soon. Didn't you feel a lot safer when she was behind bars?Does she have to register as a kitchen utensil violator? How about as a serial cookie baker? The people who prosecuted her will eventually get what's coming to them. If they did this to teach everyone a lesson, the lesson they taught was; don't talk to the cops without a lawyer. I know I never will again.

It has rained more here in the last week than in the previous ten years. Everything is soaked. The pool is almost at flood stage. What a mess. The weather here sucks.

Shot

It looks like the dumocraps have finally blown themselves out of seriouis political consideration. As usual, they demonstrated their total ineptitude as marksmen. This time, they took dead aim at their foot and shot themselves squarely in the ass. Howard Dean???? You remember him. The amazing exploding politician. Went completely berserk in Iowa last year. Now he's head of the dnc. Look at the all-star cast behind him: Kennedy, Schumer, Feinstein, Boxer, Clinton and numerous other far left idiots. I wonder if they are too stupid too realize that they have now relegated themselves to what will probably be a big, fat #3 position nationally. The only question is, who will step into the #2 slot? My guess is that it will be the libertarians. At least the libertarians offer a viable alternative. The dumocraps have now scuttled their rusty old bucket. It is sinking fast. hahahahaha Maybe now we can get some reasonable federal judges.

It is now Valentine's day. I wonder if any of those secular dwarfs are celebrating. They should know that the full name of the semi-holiday is "St. Valentine's Day". When they understand the Christian nature of the day, will they take back they candy, flowers and jewelry, or will they show the true hypocritical nature of their evil little psyches? I almost escaped Valentine's day by pleading sick. Now, however, I am committed to taking her to the coast for dinner next week. I don't know why I keep trying when I know there is no way to win. Just stupid, I guess.

Summer is coming.

And now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Hearts and Flowers

Well, here it is. Valentines day. Women revere it, men despise it. Women love it because they think it is romantic. Men don't like it because it gives the lady surgeons another chance to perform a cashectomy on us. Candy (get fat). Flowers (don't last, probably poisonous). Jewelry (useless, expensive bobbles). Ugh!!! Please believe my sincerity when I say, "BAH, HUMBUG".

The last game of the football season has come and gone. (pro bowl) Now there will be a long, boring intermission until next season. It looks like the steroid scandal is going to hit about 80% of the baseball players. What a bunch of idiots. Take the dope, muscle up, get big bucks, die before you can spend it. Morons. Did you notice anything missing this year? I thought not. They cancelled the entire hockey season! For the first time ever, the hockey players will get to summer time with the same amount of teeth that they had last year. Ho Hum.

All those erectile disfunction drugs, viagra, cialis, etc. say that if you get an erection that lasts more than four hours you should call a doctor. I think I would call Hugh Hefner. Four hours? WOW!!!

And finally, the Delano weather report: It sucks.

Retract this!

I must print a retraction of a statement I made in an earlier blog. I said that my pal on the east coast had 40 years of government service. He quickly (maybe too quickly) pointed out that he had only 30 years of service. I would have sworn he told me he was approaching 70 years old and had 40 years in the government grind, but I guess he's only 60 years old with 30 years. I may have surmised his age and service after having seen some pictures of him. So Sorry!!

Does anybody give a damn about this Chuck and Camille deal? He's an adulterer and she's a fornicator. Together they are a royal pain in the ass. I guess now we'll have to live with weekly updates on the happy couple. Didn't we imigrate from Europe to avoid this kind of nonsense?

Is anybody out there fishing? I guess the only one, nation wide, is Carl. It is only a couple of weeks or so until it gets warm enough to go fishing here. I keep a full tank of gas in the car so I can shoot out at a moment's notice.

There is a lot of fog here in the valley. It will stay until the sun comes out for real.

What's with these mothers killing their babies? And then, they get off with no jail time, just go have your tubes tied and you're a good girl again. They should chuck their butts in prison for 200 years. Ah, the joys of ultra-liberal judges! They should all be fired.

While we're on the subject of justice, are you aware of the recent number of young female teachers who are laying some vitamin "P" on their male students? The female commentators are going nuts trying to convict the teachers. The male commentators are going along with it mostly because they don't want to subject themselves to the wrath of the females. Have you seen the teachers? They are knockouts. You know and I know that those male commentators are thinking the same thing you and I are thinking. "Those lucky little punks!! I'd boink her any day!!" If my son ever came home with a tale about boinking his teacher, the first thing I'd find out is which one. If it were one of those movie star quality ones, I would then find out her phone number. Then I would go have a heart to heart chat with her. Horizontally.

Aw, nuts!

The super bowl is now history. If you want to make some money next year, just find out what my picks are in the playoffs and the super bowl and bet the opposite. That's right, I didn't pick one single game right. If I were a gambler, I'd be dining on cat food now.

The North Koreans have finally admitted they have a nuke. If I were running the show, I'd nuke them completely away right now. If we don't they are going to cause us more grief than you can imagine. Just the thought of a maniac like Kim Il Sung running around with nukes makes my blood run cold. We should have mashed his ass when it would have been easy. This is where years of diplomacy get you. It is hard to understand why we continuously rely on diplomacy when we know that it doesn't work 90% of the time. Ross Perot had a great idea when he said that we should close all our embassies world wide and open trade consulates to promote American goods abroad. Oh, and fire all the diplomats. We should keep of couple of these dweebs on hand in case a special situation arises calling for weak kneed idiocy.

Well, the winter solstice has passed and we are well on our way to the vernal equinox. Spring will officially arrive on or about March 21. That is approximately the day that summer arrives in southern California. We seldom have spring. One week the average temperature will be 65. BOOO. The next week it will be 85 and climbing. YESSSSS!!!! Until then, we'll just have to suffer. I have a great deal of sympathy for those in the east who rapped on me about how much they enjoy cold weather and what a wooos I am to bitch about it. Are you guys happy now that you're covered in ice? HAHAHAHA

A really good friend of mine is preparing too retire from the U.S. government after 40 years of service. In our conversations he tries to convince me to remain active and in contact with my old agency. What he doesn't understand is that I had been forced to deal with those morons for over 20 years. I want total disengagement from them. I am still in touch with a couple of my coworkers. They are the only ones I give a rat's ass about. The rest of them can slide down the slippery slope and off over the edge. I'll shed not a tear. I only have so many ticks left on my ticker and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it blowing hot air at a gang of incompetent louts. Am I bitter? Hell yes!!

It should be warm enough too go fishing next month. I hope so. My family in Washington State keep trying to lure me into going north, but that isn't likely to happen before the middle of August. Summer occurs in Washington from August 15 to August 18. The fishing is really good there. Lakes and streams a re everywhere and they all have water in them and the water all has fish. Unlike southern California where most of the rivers are little dried out pathways and the lakes fluxuate up and down like a yoyo from flooded to damn near dry. Really.

Did I mention my displeasure over Ward Churchill, the idiot professor for the University of Colorado who compared the September 11 vicitms to Adolph Eichman? He says that they brought it on themselves. Expanding on his theory, if he pissed somebody off enough to shoot his worthlees ass, he would have effectively committed suicide. After all, it would be his fault the he enraged the perp.

Now for the Delano weather report: It sucks.